SPAM Haiku 7101-7200

Move backwards to Numbers 7001-7100.

7101.
Babe 2: "Follow the
antics of our loveable
talking can of SPAM."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7102.
SPAM definition:
"A good pork spoiled"--SPAM Clemens
(AKA Mark Twain)

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7103.
"Reports of my death
Greatly anticipated."--
SPAMuel Clemens

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7104.
"...But it was not a
Dinner to ask a man to."--
SPAMuel Johnson

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7105.
SPAM--"It is ill-fed,
Ill-killed, ill-kept and ill-drest."--
SPAMuel Johnson

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7106.
Once, my dog was caught
Worrying pigs; crept up on
them and barked out "SPAM!"

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7107.
Writing SPAMku is
Addictive--as opposed to
Eating the darn stuff.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7108.
How do SPAMkuists
Beat insomnia? They count
syllables. One... two...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7109.
There are three kinds of
SPAMku writer--those who can
count and those who can't.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7110.
How to waste time--count
SPAMku syllables or watch
paint dry? Mmmm... tough call...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7111.
Hormel Foods Corp. STOP
SPAMku dilute trademark STOP
Demand you stop STOP

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7112.
Little dwarves eat SPAM
While dying for their duct tape
As their world does burn!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7113.
The shallow hare moans
As SPAM exerts its great worm
Making demons cry

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7114.
Picking up my lung
I see the great white palace
Eating SPAM alive

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7115.
Choking on their lust
The Hittites gamble for SPAM
As the moon grows warm

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7116.
i love to eat SPAM
just holding it in my hand
there's nothing like SPAM

--Anonymous

7117.
Slice it and fry it:
Leftover grease fills the pan.
Gosh, how I love SPAM

--Spamkin, michele2000@juno.com

7118.
Plane crash in Andes
Now am vegetarian
All we had was SPAM

--T Pease, t_pease@ids.net

7119.
Gaze upon the Freak
Eating his SPAM with horror
As the crowd mocks him!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7120.
Shall we eat our SPAM
While elves war with each other
And our children die?

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7121.
I howl at the State
And its oppressive SPAM gods!
I tear out my eyes!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7122.
Does my SPAM can see?
Ragnorok is upon us!
I now rule the world!!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7123.
My hands drown in blood
For the patriarchs are dead.
I shall eat SPAM now!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7124.
comets sometime fly
cult membership wants to die
empty cans of spam

--Britt, britt@prairie.lakes.com

7125.
SPAM is food. SPAMku
are poems. SPAMku poets
have lives. Three more lies...

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7126.
"A can of SPAM, a
jug of wine, and thou." Sounds like
a short date to me.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7127.
Lifting the blue can
up to his ear. Listening,
Horton hears a squeal.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7128.
Salt, to sting my tongue.
Grease, to slide it down my throat.
Yet, it's still not food.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7129.
SPAM 64 game.
Features real-time SPAM physics.
Nintendo insane?

--coolguy, alexh@ivanhoe.starway.net.au

7130.
spam spam spam spam spam
isn't it grand grand grand grand
no I lied lied lied

--James

7131.
moonlit paris night
fine accordion music
and a can of spam

--Charles Brittain Fleming, britt@prairie.lakes.com

7132.
old man clutches spam
muttering the word "epis-
temological"

--Charles Brittain Fleming, britt@prairie.lakes.com

7133.
Buddha, Mohammed
Confucius, Vishnu, and God.
Jesus Christ and SPAM.

--Charles Brittain Fleminf, britt@prairie.lakes.com

7134.
neurotic woman
a paranoid history
she needs my spam love

--Charles Brittain Fleming, britt@prairie.lakes.com

7135.
When I eat my SPAM
It comes out the other end
I eat it again

--Seymour Spam, Chuck6666@AOL.com

7136.
The Monkey Island,
Evil scientist gone mad,
Fed the monkeys SPAM!

--Otis Gee

7137.
A knock at my door,
Grim Reaper is here for me;
SPAM closed my heart valve.

--Otis Gee

7138.
Blissful and serene
The Chosen eat SPAM pudding
and wait for Hale-Bopp.

--Gabriel, kilgarin@intrepid.net

7139.
SPAM, the funky can
Spank my ass and call me SPAM
You got SPAM breath man!!

--Funk Masta Spam, meatinacan@spam.net

7140.
I'm fearful of sleep
After the SPAM binge left me,
cold, pink, and greasy.

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7141.
Surgeon named in suit.
Seems breast implants attract flies.
Crazy coot used SPAM.

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7142.
Vacuum seal creates
slorping sound cascading down
to Spot's bowl. "Ker-splat!"

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7143.
Marching for our rights.
We shamelessly scream chants loud,
"SPAM eaters, come out!"

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7144.
SPAM shot into space.
But lipids in the air cause
pink mass on Doppler.

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7145.
Thoughts of childhood bring
Odor. Mom's SPAM and peach bake.
Streets claim runaway.

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7146.
Hunting for catfish.
Gelatinous pink bait waits.......
McDonald's again!

--Marc Chapman, immarc@pol.net

7147.
SPAM, loveable meat...
Manifests an enigma...
What does it all mean?

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7148.
SPAM, you vicious meat
In a great glob of pure hate
You swallowed my dog

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7149.
rejected entrails
tumble, churning and pressing
and suddenly, meat!

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7150.
a Yanqui devil
owns your soul, Argentina
his name is Hormel

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7151.
oh gelatinous
film over beefy wiggle
how do I love thee?

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7152.
a pink sheen taunting
misbegotten nutrients
a rumor of pork

--Peter Mullaney

7153.
Add chunks of SPAM to
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
You cannot go wrong

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7154.
slice it paper thin:
her white virgin breast heaves for
this wafer of love

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7155.
porcine ancestor,
your bony loins feed the poor,
pressed into a joke

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7156.
white-suited chemists
manipulating pig guts
what is your secret?

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

7157.
Pathfinder's success
Barnacle Bill discovered
Pink, petrified SPAM

--Karen in NY and Sue in IL, BasketSue2@aol.com

7158.
I drive to the Pig
It sends me a mind message:
Worship me or die!

--Anonymous

7159.
Leprosy and SPAM
Are divergent paths for flesh;
Fall off or congeal

--Andrew Plourde, aplourde@sfsu.edu

7160.
Bill Bixby and SPAM
(Opened can) Both start out pink
And end up as green

--Andrew Plourde, aplourde@sfsu.edu

7161.
Purity of SPAM?
They say pork shoulders and ham,
What else lurks therein?

--Andrew Plourde, aplourde@sfsu.edu

7162.
F.D.A. allows
Some "foreign matter": Bugs, hair,
Night worker's semen.

--Andrew Plourde, aplourde@sfsu.edu

7163.
The truth is revealed.
The mystery of the gel,
Mystery no more!

--Andrew Plourde, aplourde@sfsu.edu

7164.
Jack Kevorkian
Suicide assisted death
SPAM intravenous

--K.E.Messier, JuJuHearts@aol.com

7165.
Hormel Foods is now
To diversify into
Insect repellants.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7166.
Eat SPAM for breakfast--
The perfect way to disguise
Your morning sickness.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7167.
If meat is murder,
SPAM is justifiable
Homicide--OK?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7168.
There'll be lots of SPAM,
They say, when we get to the
Sanatorium.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7169.
An example of
Elision--HORRIBLE SMELL
Might give you HORMEL.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7170.
In Ace Ventura
2, why does Ace say "SPAMku,
Spanky Spankerton"?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7171.
If SPAMkuists are
Sad individuals then
What about SHAM, uh?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7172.
Why is a can of
SPAM like marathon running?
They're both ex Austin!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7173.
Once I had a life;
Now I write SPAMku non-stop--
Thanks to you, John Cho!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7174.
My boss found SPAMku
I wrote on the Web. I have
More time for it now...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7175.
No rhyme for SPAMku,
No reason for SPAM. Result:
Perfect symmetry.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7176.
Praise the pink porcine
Paradigm of perfection:
Purest provender!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7177.
The doctors all say
"Wearing tight underwear can
lower your SPAM count!"

--Jennifer Doerr, doerr_js@academ.wvwc.edu

7178.
Pork bellies are up
on COMEX. Of course this won't
change the price of SPAM.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7179.
A block of SPAM makes
a good target for my Glock.
But it does splatter.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7180.
I tell kids: "Be good
or you'll get Christmas SPAM from
Santa." They behave.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7181.
SPAM--shunned, scorned, still here.
I admire tenacity
and perseverance.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7182.
Spamalicious past
Intestinal voyager
Projectile vomit

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7183.
Spamalicious past
Intestinal voyager
Colon cancer ward

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7184.
Spamercise daily
Two sandwiched in each armpit
Grease runs down my sides

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7185.
Spamiliar taste
Was once an animal, no?
Cow with bad karma

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7186.
slab of spam jerky
a duty-free shop staple
infinite shelf life

--elbert manabu shitamoto

7187.
i make love to spam
it has just the right texture
and can't get pregnant

--elbert manabu shitamoto

7188.
Terrible, but true
Spamarchy in the U.K.
Causes Swiss cheesed brains

--elbert manabu shitamoto

7189.
Lichen eats my brain
It's friends do grope at my SPAM
How shalt I be saved?

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7190.
My throat screams for SPAM
As I flail about my arms!
I've eaten my hand!!!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@gte.net

7191.
If you list all the
Evils of society
SPAM is the greatest

--Wild T.

7192.
A rotted melon
Dead body in the river
SPAM consistency

--Wild T.

7193.
Blue cans on corpses
Pink cubes take over the Earth
Planet of the SPAMs

--Wild T.

7194.
In a Hormel hell
My soul in a tight blue can
SPAM psycology

--Wild T.

7195.
Flowers on a hill
The taste of SPAM on the wind
Wait, that was sewage

--Wild T.

7196.
Don't eat my heart out
My soul is made up of SPAM
I guess I am safe

--Wild T.

7197.
I can't change your mood
But I can offer you SPAM
That can make you puke

--Wild T.

7198.
Bountiful banquet
One million SPAM recipes
Makes a grown man cry

--Wild T.

7199.
boogey man eats spam
boogey man goes to doctor
boogey man kills spam

--Anonymous

7200.
Frosted Lucky Charms
Magically delicious
SPAM is better, though

--Craig Beresford, cberesford@mtserv.com