SPAM Haiku 7701-7800

Move backwards to Numbers 7601-7700.

7701.
SPAM tests edible
Statistical outlier
Way the heck off graph

--Eliezer S. Yudkowsky, sentience@pobox.com

7702.
Why make SPAM haiku
Of ancient Japanese art?
They bombed Pearl Harbor

--Eliezer S. Yudkowsky, sentience@pobox.com

7703.
If you've half a mind
To write a SPAMku then you're
Overqualified

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7704.
Meat brick in my gut
Blood rushes in to digest
Hello, food coma

--Jordan Samuels, jsamuels@interaccess.com

7705.
Satellite of Love
Joel, Crowww, Tom Servo starving
"TV's Frank, send SPAM!!!"

--Neil Davidson, knd@who.net

7706.
After nuclear war
there would only be roaches
and SPAM on the earth.

--Alex Sugahara, hasugaha@science.watstar.uwaterloo.ca

7707.
Ten SPAMku today!
Doctors say my last hope is
A lobotomy...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7708.
Knock three times on the
Ceiling if you want it... um...
I'll take that as "no."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7709.
My new recipe
Combines ants, dove, and SPAM. It's
Called "Itchycoo Pork."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7710.
MacArthur's pork is
Melting in the dark but SPAM's
Indestructible.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7711.
SPAM, a tasty meat
My best friend until the end
I love to eat SPAM

--Justin Young

7712.
Tippi Hedren, try
SPAM shampoo. That should keep the
Birds out of your hair!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7713.
I think I'm pink I'm
Half the SPAM I used to be
Fillet of human

--Frederic Himebaugh

7714.
Call the ATF!
Mountain man stock-piling SPAM--
Pink supremacist

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7715.
"SPAM, Mr. Christian,
that is what motivates men."
Mutiny brewing...

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7716.
Two starving people.
First says, "You cut and I choose,"
then picks smaller half.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7717.
In the budget aisle,
recognized generic friend
in his small white tin.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7718.
Cultural icons--
Pez, Coke, and Hormel's blue can.
I am so ashamed.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7719.
So many SPAMku
suggestive of sex. Latent
Hormel-sexuals.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7720.
SPAM, meat of all peop-
les: munched, guzzled, gluttoned, slurped
opened then eaten

--dawbie, dawbie@hotmail.com

7721.
My mystery meat
made of assorted beef parts--
I shall dub thee "SPAM."

--humbux@juno.com

7722.
Surgeon General:
"SPAM can must now bear warning."
Standing ovation.

--Anonymous

7723.
SPAM makes me shit bad
In my pants it makes me shit
I love to shit SPAM

--Jason Levine, jlevine@post.smu.edu

7724.
John Cho must be the
Only person on the Web
Who wants to be spammed!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7725.
Why does SPAM have no
Health warning from the U.S.
Surgeon General?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7726.
If a SPAM falls in
the forest will a starving
bear eat it or not?

--cdb

7727.
SPAM is always good.
Though you hate it you like it--
kind of like bad sex.

--Rommel Rosales Pucan, rrpucan@vm.sc.edu

7728.
Jesus in a can,
Mary in electric pink,
Thank God, I'm a Jew!

--K.Siegel, ComplexGal@AOL.Com

7729.
The pink oily blob
I should not have eaten it
Pass Pepto Bismol

--Anonymous

7730.
huh huh heh heh huh
huh huh hmm heh heh hmm huh
Beavis and Butt-SPAM.

--Scott Wedel, scottw@oz.net

7731.
His washboard stomach
His beautiful shiny hair
I will not eat that!?!!

--The SPAM Goddess

7732.
Pity SPAMkuists--
One step away from writing
Greetings card verses.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7733.
So I wrote thirteen
SPAMku today; I could stop
If I wanted to...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7734.
Blind have guide dogs, deaf
have hearing dogs. SPAM lovers
Should have smelling dogs.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7735.
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell? Not as bad
As a plate of SPAM.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7736.
Cut SPAM in thin strips,
Dry, coat in icing sugar:
Pork chewing gum. Yum!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7737.
My wife's gone to the
West Indies. Jamaica? Sure
I did--she cooks SPAM!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7738.
My flesh is aching.
Layers of SPAM cover me,
And I am naked.

--Michael, anythinggoes@geocities.com

7739.
We laugh like children,
At the people on the street.
We throw SPAM at them.

--Michael, anythinggoes.com

7740.
Grinning cheerfully,
She asked me for the real meat.
I put SPAM in her.

--Michael, anyhtinggoes@geocitites.com

7741.
SPAM SPAM be my man
Love me like no one else can
Man I do love SPAM

--Hekele

7742.
Hair! Cheese! Fish market!
Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! SPAM!
Bill Gates is dead! Meep!

--Buzz

7743.
SPAM: nish nutrition.
SPAM: dead cow/pig interface.
SPAM: no good, my son.

--Buzz

7744.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... SPAM!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

--Buzz

7745.
SPAM ingredient:
sodium monofluoro-
phosphate? Not true, guv!

--Buzz

7746.
I was never Paul
McCartney. Why not? (Twitch! "SPAM!!")
Sorry--have Tourette's.

--Buzz

7747.
You think I am shoes?
Am I made of wood and stuff?
No, I am not. SPAM.

--Buzz

7748.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Given time in the state pen
Five years without SPAM

--son of MSB

7749.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Makes wife of prison cell mate
Not as good as SPAM

--son of MSB

7750.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Bribes a guard to bring him SPAM
Spends the night in bliss

--son of MSB

7751.
Monkey Spanking Boy
New contraband for inmates
SPAM for cigarettes

--son of MSB

7752.
Monkey Spanking Boy
If SPAM drops while showering
Do not pick it up

--son of MSB

7753.
Tickle your face off!
Gov. experiments--US
eats acid in SPAM.

--Buzz

7754.
Mmm--SPAM. Lovely SPAM.
Yum! Yum! Mmm--yummy SPAM. Yum.
I should quit tripping.

--Buzz

7755.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Like a SPAM loaf in the sun
Jail hardens a man

--son of MSB

7756.
Monkey Spanking Boy
The SPAM King gets his freedom
Makes early parole

--son of MSB

7757.
Monkey Spanking Boy
SPAM is a violation
Random piss testing

--son of MSB

7758.
Sliced SPAM splats on floor
Damn! How can it always be?
The jelly side down.

--paul handley, phand@mozart.inet.co.th

7759.
These SPAM sex acts: are
They bestiality or
Necrophilia?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7760.
These SPAM sex acts: could
They be described as merely
A poke in a pig?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7761.
Some SPAMku express
An ingenious thought. They're
More like ePIGrams.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7762.
I'd love to see the
Aurora Boarealis
(The Northern SPAM Lites).

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7763.
SPAM delight tonight
It's SPoiled hAM in a blue can
Barf it in toilet

--cryophil@cryogen.com

7764.
I do not like SPAM
It tastes like pig byproducts
But its name is cool

--Amanda Rinehart, I don't have one

7765.
Eat my jelly cubes
Of what appears to be meat
I'm American

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7766.
Pink and purple meat
Congealed into jelly cubes
Eat up! Eat up! Yum!

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7767.
One whole can of SPAM
Ninety-six big grams of fat
Finger lickin' good!

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7768.
Jiggle on my plate
Gayly swaying to and fro
O! SPAM is pure bliss!

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7769.
A beautiful day
Filled with thoughts of Hormel SPAM
Swaying in the breeze

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7770.
Pop open the can
Pop it in the microwave
Pop it in your mouth

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7771.
Gelatinous meat
Packed into cans with pop tops
A Jew's worst nightmare

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7772.
How would you know if
Your can of SPAM had gone bad?
Would it taste better?

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7773.
I hate Pizza Hut
I don't want no pizza pie
It don't taste like SPAM

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7774.
consume digest dump
spam label speaks our own truth:
the pigs buy products

--Brian Walsh, jbwalsh@atcon.com

7775.
You disrespect me
And then come to steal my SPAM
Bite me, Weasel King

--Wild T.

7776.
Severe burning pain
Like SPAM running through my bowels
Why did you leave me?

--Wild T.

7777.
Inspiration in
A can: is this the taste that
Launched a thousand quips?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7778.
Cover runways with
SPAM: that should stop the Pope from
Kissing the tarmac.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7779.
Choke the blighted meat
Bloody gums crave flaccid treat
Gelled raw mucous greets

--Kaptain Kabal, humwawa666@hotmail.com

7780.
I ate a foetus
Bloated rubber SPAM gravy
Cheesy fungoid slop

--Kaptain Kabal, humwawa666@hotmail.com

7781.
Eat with speculum
Reminiscent of leper
Foul pre-fab protein

--Kaptain Kabal, humwawa666@hotmail.com

7782.
O beckoning mass
Dubious, gelatinous
My mouth, agape, yearns

--FRAM, darovas@ucsd.edu

7783.
tasty pink morsels
finally I understand
what became of "Babe"

--FRAM, dpa@borges.ucsd.edu

7784.
My pink jellied cube
A loud "oink!" in every slice
But do I hear "neighhhhhh"?????

--FRAM, dpa@borges.ucsd.edu

7785.
NEGATIVE HAIKU
FROM THE UNBELIEVERS WHO
NEVER TASTED SPAM!

--Anonymous

7786.
A thousand missiles
Cannot do the damage done
By one can of SPAM

--Christo Magnus, Christo99@aol.com

7787.
Rennaisance gourmets
Invented French food for snobs
SPAM meat of the mob

--Christo Magnus, Christo99@aol.com

7788.
Sliced thin with a knife
False pepperoni pizza
Tomato sauce topped

--Christo Magnus, Christo99@aol.com

7789.
A meal in a can
Hawaiian appetizer
Topped with cheddar cheese

--Christo Magnus, Christo99@aol.com

7790.
We have eggs and SPAM,
And SPAM, fried in Ba-lo-Nee
Or, you could have SPAM...

--The Devil's Daughter, ithinkimdmb@aol.com

7791.
Cottage cheese and SPAM
On a bed of leafy greens--
Perfect diet dish.

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7792.
Manna from heaven:
SPAM, you are fruit of the swine,
Work of human hands.

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7793.
SPAM at the campfire:
Make new friends, but keep the old.
SPAM tastes good in s'mores!

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7794.
Astrology SPAM:
Is SPAM Cancer? Or Pisces--
Smell of rotting fish.

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7795.
Lemonade is good
But cheese-dipped SPAM is better,
At SPAM-on-a-Stick.

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7796.
Tame unruly locks
With SuperHold SPAM Pomade--
A dab'll do ya!

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7797.
nirvana for pigs
grinders wait on astral plains
oh sweet basted loaf

--boz

7798.
The SPAMku Event
Horizon: no other web
Site is viable.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7799.
suicide in cans
liquefaction of ripe swine
canned purulent beast

--Kaptain Kabal, humwawa666@hotmail.com

7800.
Blackened residue
A forgotten frying pan
Oh no! Not again!

--james, simply james