SPAM Haiku 7701-7800

Move backwards to Numbers 7601-7700.


7701.
SPAM tests edible
Statistical outlier
Way the heck off graph
--Eliezer S. Yudkowsky, sentience@pobox.com

7702.
Why make SPAM haiku
Of ancient Japanese art?
They bombed Pearl Harbor

--Eliezer S. Yudkowsky, sentience@pobox.com

7703.
If you've half a mind
To write a SPAMku then you're
Overqualified

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7704.
Meat brick in my gut
Blood rushes in to digest
Hello, food coma

--Jordan Samuels, jsamuels@interaccess.com

7705.
Satellite of Love
Joel, Crowww, Tom Servo starving
"TV's Frank, send SPAM!!!"

--Neil Davidson, knd@who.net

7706.
After nuclear war
there would only be roaches
and SPAM on the earth.

--Alex Sugahara, hasugaha@science.watstar.uwaterloo.ca

7707.
Ten SPAMku today!
Doctors say my last hope is
A lobotomy...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7708.
Knock three times on the
Ceiling if you want it... um...
I'll take that as "no."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7709.
My new recipe
Combines ants, dove, and SPAM. It's
Called "Itchycoo Pork."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7710.
MacArthur's pork is
Melting in the dark but SPAM's
Indestructible.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7711.
SPAM, a tasty meat
My best friend until the end
I love to eat SPAM

--Justin Young

7712.
Tippi Hedren, try
SPAM shampoo. That should keep the
Birds out of your hair!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7713.
I think I'm pink I'm
Half the SPAM I used to be
Fillet of human

--Frederic Himebaugh

7714.
Call the ATF!
Mountain man stock-piling SPAM--
Pink supremacist

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7715.
"SPAM, Mr. Christian,
that is what motivates men."
Mutiny brewing...

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7716.
Two starving people.
First says, "You cut and I choose,"
then picks smaller half.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7717.
In the budget aisle,
recognized generic friend
in his small white tin.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7718.
Cultural icons--
Pez, Coke, and Hormel's blue can.
I am so ashamed.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7719.
So many SPAMku
suggestive of sex. Latent
Hormel-sexuals.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7720.
SPAM, meat of all peop-
les: munched, guzzled, gluttoned, slurped
opened then eaten

--dawbie, dawbie@hotmail.com

7721.
My mystery meat
made of assorted beef parts--
I shall dub thee "SPAM."

--humbux@juno.com

7722.
Surgeon General:
"SPAM can must now bear warning."
Standing ovation.

--Anonymous

7723.
SPAM makes me shit bad
In my pants it makes me shit
I love to shit SPAM

--Jason Levine, jlevine@post.smu.edu

7724.
John Cho must be the
Only person on the Web
Who wants to be spammed!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7725.
Why does SPAM have no
Health warning from the U.S.
Surgeon General?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7726.
If a SPAM falls in
the forest will a starving
bear eat it or not?

--cdb

7727.
SPAM is always good.
Though you hate it you like it--
kind of like bad sex.

--Rommel Rosales Pucan, rrpucan@vm.sc.edu

7728.
Jesus in a can,
Mary in electric pink,
Thank God, I'm a Jew!

--K.Siegel, ComplexGal@AOL.Com

7729.
The pink oily blob
I should not have eaten it
Pass Pepto Bismol

--Anonymous

7730.
huh huh heh heh huh
huh huh hmm heh heh hmm huh
Beavis and Butt-SPAM.

--Scott Wedel, scottw@oz.net

7731.
His washboard stomach
His beautiful shiny hair
I will not eat that!?!!

--The SPAM Goddess

7732.
Pity SPAMkuists--
One step away from writing
Greetings card verses.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7733.
So I wrote thirteen
SPAMku today; I could stop
If I wanted to...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7734.
Blind have guide dogs, deaf
have hearing dogs. SPAM lovers
Should have smelling dogs.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7735.
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell? Not as bad
As a plate of SPAM.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7736.
Cut SPAM in thin strips,
Dry, coat in icing sugar:
Pork chewing gum. Yum!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7737.
My wife's gone to the
West Indies. Jamaica? Sure
I did--she cooks SPAM!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7738.
My flesh is aching.
Layers of SPAM cover me,
And I am naked.

--Michael, anythinggoes@geocities.com

7739.
We laugh like children,
At the people on the street.
We throw SPAM at them.

--Michael, anythinggoes.com

7740.
Grinning cheerfully,
She asked me for the real meat.
I put SPAM in her.

--Michael, anyhtinggoes@geocitites.com

7741.
SPAM SPAM be my man
Love me like no one else can
Man I do love SPAM

--Hekele

7742.
Hair! Cheese! Fish market!
Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! Bah! SPAM!
Bill Gates is dead! Meep!

--Buzz

7743.
SPAM: nish nutrition.
SPAM: dead cow/pig interface.
SPAM: no good, my son.

--Buzz

7744.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... SPAM!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

--Buzz

7745.
SPAM ingredient:
sodium monofluoro-
phosphate? Not true, guv!

--Buzz

7746.
I was never Paul
McCartney. Why not? (Twitch! "SPAM!!")
Sorry--have Tourette's.

--Buzz

7747.
You think I am shoes?
Am I made of wood and stuff?
No, I am not. SPAM.

--Buzz

7748.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Given time in the state pen
Five years without SPAM

--son of MSB

7749.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Makes wife of prison cell mate
Not as good as SPAM

--son of MSB

7750.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Bribes a guard to bring him SPAM
Spends the night in bliss

--son of MSB

7751.
Monkey Spanking Boy
New contraband for inmates
SPAM for cigarettes

--son of MSB

7752.
Monkey Spanking Boy
If SPAM drops while showering
Do not pick it up

--son of MSB

7753.
Tickle your face off!
Gov. experiments--US
eats acid in SPAM.

--Buzz

7754.
Mmm--SPAM. Lovely SPAM.
Yum! Yum! Mmm--yummy SPAM. Yum.
I should quit tripping.

--Buzz

7755.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Like a SPAM loaf in the sun
Jail hardens a man

--son of MSB

7756.
Monkey Spanking Boy
The SPAM King gets his freedom
Makes early parole

--son of MSB

7757.
Monkey Spanking Boy
SPAM is a violation
Random piss testing

--son of MSB

7758.
Sliced SPAM splats on floor
Damn! How can it always be?
The jelly side down.

--paul handley, phand@mozart.inet.co.th

7759.
These SPAM sex acts: are
They bestiality or
Necrophilia?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7760.
These SPAM sex acts: could
They be described as merely
A poke in a pig?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7761.
Some SPAMku express
An ingenious thought. They're
More like ePIGrams.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7762.
I'd love to see the
Aurora Boarealis
(The Northern SPAM Lites).

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7763.
SPAM delight tonight
It's SPoiled hAM in a blue can
Barf it in toilet

--cryophil@cryogen.com

7764.
I do not like SPAM
It tastes like pig byproducts
But its name is cool

--Amanda Rinehart, I don't have one

7765.
Eat my jelly cubes
Of what appears to be meat
I'm American

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7766.
Pink and purple meat
Congealed into jelly cubes
Eat up! Eat up! Yum!

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7767.
One whole can of SPAM
Ninety-six big grams of fat
Finger lickin' good!

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7768.
Jiggle on my plate
Gayly swaying to and fro
O! SPAM is pure bliss!

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7769.
A beautiful day
Filled with thoughts of Hormel SPAM
Swaying in the breeze

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7770.
Pop open the can
Pop it in the microwave
Pop it in your mouth

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7771.
Gelatinous meat
Packed into cans with pop tops
A Jew's worst nightmare

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7772.
How would you know if
Your can of SPAM had gone bad?
Would it taste better?

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7773.
I hate Pizza Hut
I don't want no pizza pie
It don't taste like SPAM

--Freaque, jmw2a@frank.mtsu.edu

7774.
consume digest dump
spam label speaks our own truth:
the pigs buy products

--Brian Walsh, jbwalsh@atcon.com

7775.
You disrespect me
And then come to steal my SPAM
Bite me, Weasel King

--Wild T.

7776.
Severe burning pain
Like SPAM running through my bowels
Why did you leave me?

--Wild T.

7777.
Inspiration in
A can: is this the taste that
Launched a thousand quips?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7778.
Cover runways with
SPAM: that should stop the Pope from
Kissing the tarmac.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7779.
Choke the blighted meat
Bloody gums crave flaccid treat
Gelled raw mucous greets

--Kaptain Kabal, humwawa666@hotmail.com

7780.
I ate a foetus
Bloated rubber SPAM gravy
Cheesy fungoid slop

--Kaptain Kabal, humwawa666@hotmail.com

7781.
Eat with speculum
Reminiscent of leper
Foul pre-fab protein

--Kaptain Kabal, humwawa666@hotmail.com

7782.
O beckoning mass
Dubious, gelatinous
My mouth, agape, yearns

--FRAM, darovas@ucsd.edu

7783.
tasty pink morsels
finally I understand
what became of "Babe"

--FRAM, dpa@borges.ucsd.edu

7784.
My pink jellied cube
A loud "oink!" in every slice
But do I hear "neighhhhhh"?????

--FRAM, dpa@borges.ucsd.edu

7785.
NEGATIVE HAIKU
FROM THE UNBELIEVERS WHO
NEVER TASTED SPAM!

--Anonymous

7786.
A thousand missiles
Cannot do the damage done
By one can of SPAM

--Christo Magnus, Christo99@aol.com

7787.
Rennaisance gourmets
Invented French food for snobs
SPAM meat of the mob

--Christo Magnus, Christo99@aol.com

7788.
Sliced thin with a knife
False pepperoni pizza
Tomato sauce topped

--Christo Magnus, Christo99@aol.com

7789.
A meal in a can
Hawaiian appetizer
Topped with cheddar cheese

--Christo Magnus, Christo99@aol.com

7790.
We have eggs and SPAM,
And SPAM, fried in Ba-lo-Nee
Or, you could have SPAM...

--The Devil's Daughter, ithinkimdmb@aol.com

7791.
Cottage cheese and SPAM
On a bed of leafy greens--
Perfect diet dish.

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7792.
Manna from heaven:
SPAM, you are fruit of the swine,
Work of human hands.

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7793.
SPAM at the campfire:
Make new friends, but keep the old.
SPAM tastes good in s'mores!

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7794.
Astrology SPAM:
Is SPAM Cancer? Or Pisces--
Smell of rotting fish.

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7795.
Lemonade is good
But cheese-dipped SPAM is better,
At SPAM-on-a-Stick.

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7796.
Tame unruly locks
With SuperHold SPAM Pomade--
A dab'll do ya!

--Giedra Campbell, gcampbell@usa.wctrials.com

7797.
nirvana for pigs
grinders wait on astral plains
oh sweet basted loaf

--boz

7798.
The SPAMku Event
Horizon: no other web
Site is viable.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7799.
suicide in cans
liquefaction of ripe swine
canned purulent beast

--Kaptain Kabal, humwawa666@hotmail.com

7800.
Blackened residue
A forgotten frying pan
Oh no! Not again!

--james, simply james


Move forwards to Numbers 7801-7900.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.