SPAM Haiku 8001-8100

Move backwards to Numbers 7901-8000.

8001.
A single snout hair
Erupting from the SPAM-slice;
My epiphany

--james, simply james

8002.
SPAM is SPAM is SPAM
Is SPAM SPAM? Or is SPAM SPAM
SPAM is SPAM is SPAM

--Charles Morris

8003.
the falseness of ham
represented by a can
um...damn i love spam

--guinevere and aaron

8004.
Fresh SPAM on the grill;
Fat, smoke, conspire together
Blinding my resolve.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8005.
Harken to the woods.
They harbor many small lives.
SPAM does not live there.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8006.
What vile meat is this?
Who designed its packaging?
Save me from the can.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8007.
Cannot we forget
Our longing to consume it?
Canned meat is so low.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8008.
Hunting the wild SPAM
In woods deep greenness hiding.
Does it crawl or walk?

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8009.
Many seek The Can
But few remember its ways.
No wonder it lives.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8010.
Sitting in my tree,
Free cans of SPAM walk under.
I will jump them soon.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8011.
Listening to you,
My heart is all aflutter.
No, it's just my SPAM.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8012.
Can you smell the dawn?
Green leaves and wishful thinking.
You, my SPAM, and beer.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8013.
Camping in the glen,
The students of M. I. T.
Warm their hands with SPAM.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8014.
Nestled in your love,
The blue glowing of your can
Wraps me in what meat?

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8015.
Thumping rap music
Fills all the air around me.
They've been raised on SPAM.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8016.
No thumpers are here.
No "music" pounds in my face.
They're all dead from SPAM.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8017.
SPAM may save the world.
Those whose music kills the heart
Eat SPAM and go deaf.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8018.
Awful nightmares now.
All bolts on my car are loose.
My music and SPAM.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8019.
John Cho, M.I.T.
Reber Clark, S.P.A.M.
Will wonders not cease?

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8020.
Music fills the soul,
SPAM reincarnates itself.
Farts in the darkness.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8021.
HEY JOHN! READ THIS ONE!
"There once was a lady from..."
Oops! SPAM limerick!

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8022.
Mystery meat day
The mess hall very busy
Shovel in the SPAM

--Mikeylikesit, drjin@aol.com

8023.
SPAM you bitch goddess
Packed with love and gelatin
You call out to me

--Anonymous

8024.
I eat SPAM alone
I eat SPAM with my close friends
I love SPAM with you

--jarvin p. fishwick

8025.
SPAM, infamous SPAM
How I wonder what you are
Hey, now WHAT are you?

--Chris, Chansler@hotmail.com

8026.
SPAM, you are the sun,
To the East I say; rising.
Till dawn, you won't go.

--Chris, Chansler@hotmail.com

8027.
SPAM, in the bright sky,
I catch glimpses as it falls
Ouch, right down on me.

--Chris, Chansler@hotmail.com

8028.
SPAM, filthy old SPAM.
You sit there in my kitchen.
Lonely, till pigs fly.

--Chris, Chansler@hotmail.com

8029.
All around the world
SPAM brings us together, yes!
Oh, everyone sing!

--Edna Slater

8030.
Chop slice cook grind mix,
Skin ears tongue, clear jelly, lips,
SPAM for breakfast, pass.

--Anonymous

8031.
A small SPAM truism:
Man who live in a SPAM house
should fry up some eggs.

--spamfucius

8032.
Ninety-nine bottles
of SPAM on the wall, ninety-
nine bottles of SPAM.

--Kaptain Kabal, humwawa666@hotmail.com

8033.
Shove it down your throat
Shredded lungs spew SPAM choked chunks
Spew bloody offal......

--Kaptain Kabal, humwawa666@hotmail.com

8034.
Nurses like SPAM, too
This tasty pink gelatin
Keeps us in business!

--A nurse (Who has never tried this treat...)

8035.
Overdosed on SPAM
Will die without "mouth-to-mouth"!
No volunteers here...

--A nurse (in a SPAM-free hospital)

8036.
A common complaint...
Hospital food bites big one
Must be made of SPAM

--A nurse (treating SPAM-related illnesses)

8037.
Dying pork in can
bleeds to death gelatin. A
stitch in time saves SPAM!

--A nurse (to the rescue...)

8038.
Blue cans belch open
Liquified pig fart and snouts
Packed neatly in can

--Dennis Kustin

8039.
Soft pink delight--I'm
hungry just thinking of it...
Have I lost my mind??

--Linda

8040.
Alaskan lobster?
Beef Wellington? Or T-Bone?
No--give me some SPAM!!

--Linda

8041.
My fiance tries
to kiss me--what's that smell? I'd
rather be single!!

--Linda

8042.
The doc says I've got
colon cancer--a big pink
gel-coated tumor...

--Linda

8043.
Why is it that when
I think of sex, I picture
tasty, soft, pink bliss?

--Linda

8044.
My first orgasm was...
wild sex on bed of SPAM! Is
this site R-rated??

--Linda

8045.
If pig squealed in can
with no one there to hear it,
would it make a sound?

--Linda

8046.
Ancient mummies found,
no deterioration...
were embalmed in SPAM!

--Linda

8047.
Woke up this morning,
with the blues weighing me down...
got no SPAM around...

--Linda

8048.
Got a good woman...
Lord, don't she treat me right. I
get SPAM every night!

--Linda

8049.
Sleeping alone is
not all that bad if you have
a soft, pink pillow...

--Linda

8050.
Okay, so my SPAM
Haiku sucks...at least I try...
give me SPAM or die!

--Linda

8051.
Huge, pink floating pigs
Gelatin-filled blue craters
Dark side of the moon...

--Linda

8052.
Ooh-ooh that smell...Can
you smell that smell? Ooh--the smell
of SPAM surrounds you.

--Linda

8053.
I went to dinner.
The SPAM glistened, I moistened.
I was a sinner.

--Emily

8054.
Shiny happy SPAM
Shiny happy SPAM holding...
But it has no hands.

--Emily

8055.
Freakshow, wet and pink
I need sexual healing
Freakshow, wet and pink

--Emily

8056.
You are the one thing
I just can't get enough of...
But you make me sick

--Emily

8057.
I've been caught stealing
SPAM from the supermarket.
They put me away...

--Emily

8058.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM...bugger.

--Emily

8059.
An arid landscape
Dehydration, perversion
Where is my SPAM now?

--Emily

8060.
Cold, so cold in here,
And no one gets out alive.
Freezer full of SPAM.

--Emily

8061.
In all things, think green
Make your jewelry out of SPAM
Bugs will be your friends

--spamfucius

8062.
SPAM'S DISGUSTIN-G
IT TASTES LIKE SOME KINDA CRAP
IT TASTES G-RO-S

--JESSE WITOSZKIN, WIT@BC.SYMPATICO.CA

8063.
I look for a snack,
I take a trip to the frig,
My Love. My Life: SPAM.

--Stephen Pesce, pesces@wlu.edu

8064.
pink in the morn' sun
porcine lump gleams lusciously
the lovers eat SPAM

--Wraithmaster the Spammed

8065.
If the world were SPAM
then where would the children play?
Amongst rusty cans.

--Wraithmaster the Spammed

8066.
The haze of midday
SPAM drifts in soft solitude
Graceful meat at noon

--Wraithmaster the Spammed

8067.
MY HUNGRY SOUL CRIES
OH! WHITE BREAD, FRIED SPAM, MAYO...
LOVE IS BLIND AND CRUEL.

--AZURA100

8068.
Kuufuku desu,
Spamu o tabemasu.
Atogusare.

--Tom Howard, thhoward@acad.ursinus.edu

8069.
Ma ga sashite.
Kande hakidas' yo ni
Hai! Anraku shi...

--Tom Howard, thhoward@acad.ursinus.edu

8070.
Make a SPAM dildo
Shove it up your ass you whore
Suck a dead pig's cock

--Kaptain Kabal

8071.
Necrobestial--
SPAM lust gave me leprosy
Now I am SPAM too

--Kaptain Kabal

8072.
Fist fucking SPAM chunks
Sodomy with cold SPILDO
Putrid pig blowjob

--Kaptain Kabal

8073.
Where do fetuses
From abortion clinics go?
To a can of SPAM.

--Kaptain Kabal

8074.
I could never eat
SPAM if I knew there was TREET
I'll have potted meat

--Anonymous

8075.
I hate pink meat cubes
They make me vomit a lot
I want a barf bag

--Anonymous

8076.
fried spam and salsa
i can't take the punishment
please pass the maalox

--Mikeylikesit, drjin@aol.com

8077.
spamatozoa
when you engage the ova
breakfast afterbirth

--mikeylikesit, drjin@aol.com

8078.
Donuts filled with SPAM
A salty-sweet deep fried treat
It was meant to be

--jim strange, strange@scs.unr.edu

8079.
What is pink, salty
Moist and smells of pork? Is it
Miss Piggy or SPAM?

--jim strange, strange@scs.unr.edu

8080.
Oh, I love you SPAM,
your sweet, pink, tender goodness
melting on my tongue.

--Nate and Jordan, we arent cool enough

8081.
No hablo eSPAM?
What? You do not know Spamish?
Ethnocentrist pig.

--David Wiest, WiestD@carleton.edu

8082.
No duality--
Use ev'ry part but the oink.
SPAM's Oneness glistens.

--Peter L Berglund, peter_berglund@customer-insight.com

8083.
SPAM--a year's supply.
My cellar offers refuge
From apocalypse.

--Peter L Berglund, peter_berglund@customer-insight.com

8084.
Another pink feast
Were not appetite for pork
So lately sated

--Peter L Berglund, peter_berglund@customer-insight.com

8085.
Beauty--oft perceiv'd
In pinkness, smooth and tender.
Oh Pig! Thou were it.

--Peter L Berglund, peter_berglund@customer-insight.com

8086.
My SPAM addiction:
Only SPAMKU comes to mind.
I should be working!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

8087.
Listening to jazz.
SPAM and cheese on my sandwich.
Life is just perfect!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

8088.
Watching for the boss.
Looking over my shoulder
as I write SPAMKU.

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

8089.
Have I told you yet?
I ask my fellow workers.
I'm a SPAM poet!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

8090.
I write my SPAMKU
while you think that I'm working.
Giggle, giggle, snort!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

8091.
Wonder how many
bosses in America
are now SPAM haters?

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

8092.
Slimy Pork And Mush,
Slithery Pulp All Mucky,
Some People Ate Mine!

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8093.
I do dirty things
to pink meat from can. Oh yeah,
gotta love the SPAM!

--Aaron & Mo, sonofpa@utech.net

8094.
Yes, it's me! I'm back
With more SPAMku--now they gave
Me back my crayons...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8095.
Peter Piper picked
A pack of processed pig parts.
(Poor pin-headed putz!)

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8096.
You are the shit SPAM
That I find in my bathroom
Because I eat SPAM

--Fernando Lucero, felucero@nmsu.edu

8097.
FUCK the world and SPAM
FUCKING dog smoked my weed FUCK
There's some SHITTY SPAM

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

8098.
I like big tits and
I cannot lie SPAM you got
big juicy titties.

--abe, jesramos@nmsu.edu

8099.
I don't get angry
When my dog eats my SPAM cause
Then he gets real sick

--Fernando Lucero, felucero@nmsu.edu

8100.
We are going back
to SPAM to SPAM to SPAM to
eat your big pussy!!!!

--abe, felucero@nmsu,edu