SPAM Haiku 8101-8200

Move backwards to Numbers 8001-8100.

8101.
I licked my ASS yeah
Buttcheek tasted like the SPAM
It tasted real good

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

8102.
I am horny like
A little bastard from hell
SPAM please fuck me hard

--fernie, felucero@nmsu.edu

8103.
If I shave my ASS
I will lube my panocha
And FUCK like crazy

--Tetas Grandes, smellypanochas@ferny's.edu

8104.
SPAM it tastes real good
After it has had some sex
Damn SPAM tastes real good

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

8105.
When the SPAM FUCKED me
It felt really good inside
Up my ass that is

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

8106.
Fuck me SPAM, real hard
It feels real good to fuck you
Will you marry me

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

8107.
I'm a strawberry
I think that I'm really cool
But the SPAM fucked me

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

8108.
SPAM you are the sun
SPAM you are the birds and bees
SPAM you are my love

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

8109.
My mom beats my dad
Then he makes a lot of SPAM
Mom beats dad, AGAIN

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

8110.
Once I saw my dad
he was having sex, some man
Then I fucked some SPAM

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

8111.
SPAM is good mattress
I sleep on it every night
Need to wash my hair

--SPAMBONE

8112.
Samurai warlord
He ponders a can of SPAM
Mind is always clear

--Alex Woolery

8113.
MORGAN SENT ME MAIL
SAYING SHE LIKED MY HAIKU.
SPAM CAN MAKE YOU FRIENDS.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

8114.
SPAM, made from dead cats,
Leave the eyeballs and tail in,
To give it that tang!

--Matthew Barker, psychofish@hotmail.com

8115.
I'm going loopy
First I ate my own sister
Now I'm eating.....SPAM!!!!!!

--Matthew Barker 'Spaminator', psychofish@hotmail.com

8116.
Geoff Holme, my hero
Much like you, I have no life
SPAMku, my lone friend

--Anonymous

8117.
A stranger walks up
"Look, in the sky--Superman!!"
My SPAM is stolen

--Wild T.

8118.
She took off her clothes
The stench of SPAM hit my nose
Lost my erection

--Wild T.

8119.
Did you hear about
The Beverly SPAM-billies?
Cans are from GUCCI

--Wild T.

8120.
Pecking the remains
Of an all night SPAM-a-thon
And the vultures die

--Wild T.

8121.
SPAM in my rectum
Ankles bound by my own pants
I don't like camping

--Wild T.

8122.
SPAM cans everywhere
Pink chunks float in my toilet
How drunk did I get?

--Wild T.

8123.
Old country proverb
'Tis better to eat the can
Than to eat the SPAM

--Wild T.

8124.
Advice to Hormel
Pig shit in pretty package
Will still be pig shit

--Wild T.

8125.
Scottish tradition
Lift the kilt and wave the SPAM
Then play the "Bagpipes"

--Wild T.

8126.
Our special today
Succulent SPAM a l'orange
Quite the Chef Surprise

--Wild T.

8127.
Pantry filled with SPAM
The silent scream fills my ears
Surrender my soul

--Wild T.

8128.
Worship the pink block
Swim in the gel of virtue
Hail to the SPAMku

--Wild T.

8129.
Smell of porcine death
An odor like no other
Hormel nirvana

--Wild T.

8130.
What do you get when
You cross SPAM with rodent guts
Oops--nothing has changed

--Wild T.

8131.
The SPAM muse has me
Never has my existence
Seemed so pathetic

--Wild T.

8132.
A Hawaiian feast
SPAM sculpted like a roast pig
A white trash luau

--Wild T.

8133.
If you eat SPAM off
A naked hooker, is she
Working for "Whore-mel"?

--Wild T.

8134.
During an orgasm
You could hear Marv Albert scream
"Yes! SPAM me! Yes! YES!!

--Wild T.

8135.
Smoked another joint
It really gave me munchies
I still turned down SPAM

--Wild T.

8136.
Waiting for a bus
Thought I saw SPAM in the road
But it was road kill

--Wild T.

8137.
Excuse me sir, is
that SPAM in your pants, or are
you glad to see me?

--Wild T.

8138.
The SPAMku artist
Looking for adulation
Finding therapy

--Wild T.

8139.
In the pits of Hell
Souls suffer eternally
They have SPAM for lunch

--Wild T.

8140.
My twelve step program
I am a SPAM-a-holic
Feed my obsession

--Wild T.

8141.
How low can you sink
To get a lifetime of SPAM
Will you sell your soul?

--Wild T.

8142.
Greasy pink pork chunks
Shoved into a pipe and smoked
Addicts called "Sprack-heads"

--Wild T.

8143.
The pain continues
Twenty years is SPAM's half-life
Just in my stomach

--Wild T.

8144.
New pretty pictures
An attempt to disguise SPAM
We cannot be fooled!!

--Wild T.

8145.
The great SPAM-I-am
Sitting on a throne on high
Heavenly hog meat

--Mike Page, drjin@aol.com

8146.
See the great whore Mel
Purveyor of excrescence
So pink in the can

--whothehellamianyway?, drjin@aol.com

8147.
"She made me eat SPAM,"
He claimed in his own defense.
"Not guilty. Next case."

--Emily Dickinson, rrlnrogers@aol.com

8148.
As I masticate
My pink flesh rubs its pink flesh.
Come inside me, SPAM!

--emily dickinson, rrlnrogers@aol.com

8149.
I slept sadly that
night, yearning only for SPAM.
But dreams DO come true!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

8150.
spam comes in a can
parts is parts and pork is gross
i hate spam ya hear

--puddintain

8151.
I have never tried
this legendary spam 'cause
it isn't kosher

--Cloo, pyuiq@csv.warwick.ac.uk

8152.
I want a new car
There is a fast can of SPAM
Climb in, luxury

--Duncan Fry

8153.
Said it was harmless
Now I'm hooked on freebase SPAM
Hormel you bastard

--Captain Geeko

8154.
Fuzzy wuzzy SPAM
Kept out in the sun too long
Maybe taste better

--Captain Geeko

8155.
Please, before we die
O glorious Spammeister
Just one more pink can

--Mikeylikesit, drjin@aol.com

8156.
i hate the damn spam
that i give to my mother
but then she gets sick

--Fernando Lucero, felucero@nmsu.edu

8157.
I do not eat meat
Woman that I love loves SPAM
Damn the hands of fate

--SPAM-Boo

8158.
Anna Nicole Smith
Found first can of SPAM e'er made
Wants to marry it

--SPAM-Boo

8159.
Abruptly, walk ends
Breakfast tossed from a window
SPAM(TM) lands on head--ouch!

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

8160.
Robin sings sweetly
Joy fires the avian heart
Worms instead of SPAM(TM)

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

8161.
Photons dance and spin
Quantum duality shrieks
SPAM's fabric unknown

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

8162.
Shift ends at the mill
SPAM(TM) lasagna and a beer
Biohazard zone

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

8163.
EMT arrives
Black road, red glass, headless corpse
SPAM or cerebra?

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

8164.
Auto-erotic
Greasy pink meat slides inside
SPAM(TM) or my boyfriend?

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

8165.
Wasted mammal death
Untold pain and suffering
SPAM(TM) is genocide

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

8166.
Hormel profits swell
Soylent Pink(TM) feeds the masses
Rich shareholders laugh

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

8167.
Clinton feels our pain
That's because the White House chef
Often feeds him SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8168.
Would Janet Reno
Look so intimidating
If she swore off SPAM?

--SPAM-Boo

8169.
Maybe Jesse Helms
Would be more agreeable
If he ate more SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8170.
Maybe Jesse Helms
Is so disagreeable
Because he eats SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8171.
Tianenmen Square
Riots broke out when the gov.
First imported SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8172.
Scuba divers know
Not to eat SPAM under sea
Added salt would kill

--SPAM-Boo

8173.
Punishment decreed
Cruel and unusual
When cons are fed SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8174.
I would not eat SPAM
No more than I'd buy myself
Yanni concert tix

--SPAM-Boo

8175.
Never trust a soul
Who says SPAM is delicious
They will always lie

--SPAM-Boo

8176.
Someday soon Hormel
Due to SPAM's extreme success
Will kill second pig

--SPAM-Boo

8177.
Reason to repent
Welcome Wagon based in Hell
Gives everyone SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8178.
Trapezoidal meat
Fork stabbing sends a tremble
Through the both of us

--John Angelico, angelico@ocf.berkeley.edu

8179.
Eat it with bare hands
Then lick the jellied globets
From saline digits.

--emily dickinson

8180.
Spamku beats the Dow
Hormel thrives, yet pork futures
Never looked so grim

--Krink - Falls Gulch, VA

8181.
SPAM is not an egg
I smell cheese and a floppy
SPAM is floppy cheese

--Spamoo

8182.
Look in the blue tin
See a couple pairs of eyes
Oh, how could you, SPAM?

--Lauren Thompson, libragirl17@hotmail.com

8183.
Hey, Hormel, guess what?
If my kids get sick on this
I might sue your butt!

--WVF

8184.
Galileo's wrong
Really Earth revolves around
Universe of SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8185.
I glorify SPAM
In everything that I do
I've got SPAM on brain

--SPAM-Boo

8186.
Hormel should be pleased
SPAM's been seen around the world
But then, so has plague

--SPAM-Boo

8187.
Really awful book
'Bout romance was The SPAM of
Madison County

--SPAM-Boo

8188.
Do not fret about
Aliens from outer space
They just want our SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8189.
A house divided
Against itself cannot stand
Unless bricked in SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8190.
Andrew Lloyd Webber
Wrote a musical that failed
"Phantom of the SPAM"

--SPAM-Boo

8191.
Robert Frost refused
Million bucks to write a poem
Glorifying SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8192.
Jasper Johns once did
Construction of U.S. flag
Out of tins of SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8193.
Frank Lloyd Wright once tried
Suspending a can of SPAM
O'er a waterfall

--SPAM-Boo

8194.
Frank Lloyd Wright once drew
Building that was a mile high
Clad in stainless SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8195.
"Less is more" is what
Mies van der Rohe often said
"Unless 'less' is SPAM"

--SPAM-Boo

8196.
The clues were so clear--
Pink under her fingernails...
Her murderer: SPAM!

--james, simply james

8197.
Sometimes in my SPAM
I find holes like a Swiss cheese!
What the heck IS that?

--james, simply james

8198.
"SPAM, with mustard, hot,"
I tell the replicator.
It hums, and I retch.

--John "Hitman" Debevec, debevecjo@tusc.kent.edu

8199.
The officer shouts
A SPAM is decloaking! Off
the port bow! Raise shields!

--John "Hitman" Debevec, debevecjo@tusc.kent.edu

8200.
SPAM chunk in a can.
How vile! Know you no mercy?!?
My stomach flip-flops.

--John "Hitman" Debevec, debevecjo@tusc.kent.edu