SPAM Haiku 8901-9000

Move backwards to Numbers 8801-8900.


8901.
Hey, Good Humor Man
I'll have SPAM-flavored ice cream
Wait, don't drive away!
--Adam Richter

8902.
Screw-up at Hormel:
My SPAM was greaseless! Glad that
I had Vaseline.

--Adam Richter

8903.
Rarely have two words
Been as poorly juxtaposed
As are "SPAM" and "LITE"

--Adam Richter

8904.
I asked this fellow
who thinks SPAM LITE's a health food,
"Wanna buy a bridge?"

--Adam Richter

8905.
Tastes great! Less filling!
Are we discussing SPAM LITE?
That crap will kill you!

--Adam Richter

8906.
SPAM LITE Haiku:
Fewer syllables
Same attitude

--Adam Richter

8907.
The man who knows what
they make SPAM out of is the
man who knows too much.

--Adam Richter

8908.
Eating too much SPAM
Is purely self-destructive
So be sure to share

--Adam Richter

8909.
SPAM is food for thought.
Check out all this SPAM haiku...
SPAM, what hath thou wrought?

--Adam Richter

8910.
Salt and fat and grease
And nobody knows what else
How CAN'T you love SPAM?!?

--Adam Richter

8911.
Screw Tamagotchi,
SPAM is my virtual pet.
Bad SPAM! I'll eat you...

--Adam Richter

8912.
Dream of a pink cube
Image of Charlton Heston
The call Soylent Pink

--David Lundry, lundryd@aurora.cwu.edu

8913.
My dog will not eat;
Husband filled her dish with SPAM.
To her, it's not food!

--Terri, delanc01@interserv.com

8914.
Row away from shore
Toss the SPAM over the bow
Anchor of my soul

--Brou

8915.
Think of distant lands
Do they have SPAM there I ask
Storm clouds gather rain

--Brou

8916.
Nummy fragrances
Turning of the weathervane
I live near Hormel

--Brou

8917.
Young politician
Runs Presidential "SPAMcain"
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

8918.
SPAM spanking hero
Elected to the White House
Pink Oval Office

--MSB

8919.
Changes on the grounds
Decorate the rose garden
With new trail of SPAM

--MSB

8920.
Young White House intern
What is that on your blue dress?
Presidential SPAM

--MSB

8921.
Fight against Iraq
Economic "SPAMbargo"
The fall of Saddam

--MSB

8922.
Scandal--Impeachment
Caught with his tool in the SPAM
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

8923.
Sylvia Plath wrote
The Bell Jar: tragic tale of
one girl and her SPAM.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8924.
Kurt Cobain wanted
to kick his SPAM habit. He
failed dismally. BOOM!

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8925.
"There is SPAM or there
is death. Choose wisely, my boy,"
my grandad once said.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8926.
"All you need is SPAM,"
sang The Beatles. John Lennon
got shot. FBI?

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8927.
I get spammed weekly
by CapitalFM. Strange
"SPAM" should mean junk mail...

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8928.
"Feed me, Seymour!" "Some
SPAM, Audrey 2?" "I said, 'feed
me,' not, 'poison me'!"

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8929.
Europe--late thirties...
Adolf Hitler is on the
uprise...so is SPAM.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8930.
Bad trip... everywhere
I look, I see SPAM. I hope
that it isn't real.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8931.
The cold burn of the
strange; the alien surrounds
me...SPAM is abroad.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8932.
Christ beat temptation
for forty days. Satan stopped
using SPAM thenceforth.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8933.
Inspiration will
not hit me. SPAM can stifle
creativity.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8934.
spam sex is safe sex
gelatinous passion and
no chance of disease

--Christopher Minson, cminson@devonian.com

8935.
Cheaper than Ex-Lax
SPAM traverses intestines
In ten minutes flat

--Paul Schirf, SPAM@PerkWorks.com

8936.
SPAM at Olympics
eaten by U.S. hockey
sent them home early

--Paul Schirf, SPAM@PerkWorks.com

8937.
SPAM at Olympics
used by Austrians as wax
Maier takes the gold

--Paul Schirf, SPAM@PerkWorks.com

8938.
The way of the SPAM:
Honor it with haiku and
reach enlightenment.

--Anonymous

8939.
Start eating raw SPAM
off the Galleria floor.
Good way to meet chicks.

--Anonymous

8940.
Sold Microsoft stock.
With money, bought SPAM futures.
The fools call me mad!

--Anonymous

8941.
Job interview lunch:
Ordered SPAMBURGER. Licked plate.
Shoe-in at Hormel.

--Anonymous

8942.
Was fired from Hormel.
Writing SPAM haiku. They have
forgotten the way.

--Anonymous

8943.
The madness returns.
Tortured nights obsessed with SPAM.
Sure beats a wet dream.

--Anonymous

8944.
I'm many yet...just
one. I'm immortal yet...dead.
SPAM contemplation.

--Anonymous

8945.
SPAM: The hidden threat.
Blue outside but, pink inside.
Go back to Russia.

--Anonymous

8946.
Cupboards are empty
except for some SPAM. It is
a good day to die.

--Anonymous

8947.
Boss says: Stop writing
SPAM haiku! I'll show them all.
I'm going postal.

--Anonymous

8948.
Hey! This tequila
has SPAM instead of a worm.
I'll drink the water.

--Anonymous

8949.
SPAM on a cracker
served with some beer. Chicks dig it.
Caviar's for fags.

--Anonymous

8950.
Cat pissed on the rug.
Good kitty. Here, have some SPAM.
Die, kitty! Die! Die!

--Anonymous

8951.
A kid eats some SPAM
and croaks: Oh, my God! They killed
Kenny! You bastards!

--Anonymous

8952.
Man with steak cuts in
checkout line. With SPAM, I wait.
Life is so unfair.

--Anonymous

8953.
Starting college. Formed
the SPAM haiku club. Mom asks
why I have no friends.

--Anonymous

8954.
Had a date last night.
Told him I write SPAM haiku.
I had to walk home.

--Anonymous

8955.
Had a date last night.
She said she writes SPAM haiku.
Classifieds? No more!

--Anonymous

8956.
I kissed a guy who
writes SPAM haiku? Must have been
drunk. Rather kiss SPAM.

--Anonymous

8957.
SPAM haiku files found.
Wife cries she never knew me.
Secret life revealed.

--Anonymous

8958.
Look. See that guy there.
He writes SPAM haiku for fun.
Don't make eye contact.

--Anonymous

8959.
Trystero warning,
"Secret Plot Against Mailmen"
Hormel--in on it!

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8960.
Young Kal-El Recalls
When Ma Kent gave him some SPAM
Worse than kryptonite!

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8961.
They offered him choice:
SPAM or we tear out your tongue
He is silent, glad

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8962.
the smell of spam it
violated my nostrils
opened can, closed mouth

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8963.
Blue can rocks with mirth
Pink meat trembles at your touch:
NEW "Tickle-Me" SPAM

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8964.
Ham, bacon, sausage.
These are the gateway meats that
lead to the hard stuff.

--Anonymous

8965.
First time eating SPAM
I have never known such bliss.
Words cannot describe.

--Anonymous

8966.
Addicts prostitute
themselves for freebase SPAM. Hell,
why not. They don't care.

--Anonymous

8967.
SPAM-head gets his cash.
A yellow bulb casts light on
the dingy mattress.

--Anonymous

8968.
you, so versatile
tempt me with your easy ways
like tofu, but more

--sez

8969.
Je suis une vache, non?
Je suis un oiseau? Ah, non...
Je suis gros gourmand!

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk or ultrafoetus@hotmail.com

8970.
Summer night, fried SPAM
Guests decide to leave early
I'll sleep well tonight

--Trent Lott

8971.
Again to "old pond"
SPAM falls in--schplurp!--water sound
--The fish arc to grass

--Trent Lott

8972.
JD on table,
Staring down blue coated tin.
From the shock, he dies.

--Adam Melson, montypython1@hotmail.com

8973.
Oh, to be a pig...
To roll in mud, eat at troughs,
Someday become SPAM

--Adam Richter

8974.
Lowly SPAMBURGER!
Mockery of hamburgers.
Hormel is so sick.

--Adam Richter

8975.
The metal SPAM can...
So damn close to perfection!
Sole flaw: contains SPAM.

--Adam Richter

8976.
What would have happened
If Alice, in Wonderland,
Had eaten some SPAM?

--Adam Richter

8977.
"Revenge is a dish
best served cold?" Well, SPAM is a
dish that's best not served!

--Adam Richter

8978.
1998.
Women's hockey with SPAM puck.
Nagano, Japan.

--k.i.

8979.
Trees sway in the wind,
elephant raises its trunk.
SPAM carving contest.

--k.i.

8980.
Doorstop, paperweight,
pencil holder, shoe polish.
SPAM, wonder product.

--k.i.

8981.
When ten thousand reached,
will something new be written,
or read SPAM re-treads?

--k.i.

8982.
The one can of SPAM
ignored in back of cupboard
smiling knowingly.

--k.i.

8983.
Top ripped asunder,
cruelly yanked from its abode.
No pity for SPAM.

--k.i.

8984.
Radioactive
weapon of mass destruction.
A lethal SPAM burp.

--k.i.

8985.
SPAM cooking contest
cancelled tonight because of
a lack of judges.

--k.i.

8986.
Defamed and maligned,
Hormel fights back but finds that
truth is a defense.

--k.i.

8987.
Clouds form overhead,
SPAM sandwich tastes delicious.
Must be El Niño.

--k.i.

8988.
Molecules of SPAM
seen under a microscope,
looks like small piglets.

--k.i.

8989.
Cut off my fingers,
radical lobotomy.
Stop this Spamku now.

--k.i.

8990.
John Cho, Spamku King
Collects SPAM Haiku, Pink Meat
Preserved in Archive

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8991.
spam's a great danger
when set next to dynamite
pig guts everywhere

--mental spamcase, qwerty

8992.
Squish between my toes
In my pants or in my shoes
SPAM is my kingdom

--koi, sssexy@hotmail.com

8993.
Oh, my aching pud
Am I really wasting food
Utilizing pork?

--Pressedham Don`tnap, eatspam@PORK.com

8994.
Lining of stomach
will ne'er be the same again;
eaten away, sad|

--Pressedham Don`tnap

8995.
how the pink goo squirts
SPAM the morning after hurts
Stains my pants and shirts

--Pressedham Don`t knap, Dunno@pinkmeat.com

8996.
Should I waste my life?
SPAM prose writing late at night
Never says sweet wife|

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

8997.
I SHALL live my days
in utter, utter praise of
porculent snack trays.

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

8998.
Around the bend I've
gone again it seems to most
SPAM ode I must post

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

8999.
who would waste their time
counting SPAM's syllables and
striving for a rhyme?

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9000.
O meateous muse
fail me not I pray thee.....help
my flesh prose flourish.

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum


Move forwards to Numbers 9001-9100.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.