SPAM Haiku 9001-9100

Move backwards to Numbers 8901-9000.

9001.
The night is young, though
I grow old. The SPAM is hot
but MY meat is cold.

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9002.
where are you single
women? can you save me from
spam's evil clutches?

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9003.
SPAM is an ingrown
pubic hair on the dick of
life. Where's my waitress?

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9004.
someone help me I
can't stop immortalizing
something that is slop|

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9005.
I would love to find
a love.....true....of one SPAM mind
I'd can your behind.

--Pressedham Don`tnap, flotsam@aol.cum

9006.
SPAM with mustard sliced
On white bread, then aged in fridge--
Eggs and yes, green SPAM

--Amy Cahill, Amy.Cahill@gte.net

9007.
SPAMatazoa
In cryogenic capsules
Bide millenia.

--Mike O`Connor (K.M.O`Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

9008.
Ol' Sad SPAM the Pain
Makes nerve gas and anthrax bombs.
Sucking his left thumb.

--Mike O`Connor (K.M.O`Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

9009.
"Say 'Ah,'" said Doctor
SPAM, gripping hard my tongue, he
Turned me inside-out!

--Mike O`Connor (K.M.O`Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

9010.
The forest boar knows
nothing of what it means to
be SPAM. No, really.

--Wook Lee, WookLee@msn.com

9011.
The humble pig, his
True destiny doth achieve
In becoming SPAM.

--Wook Lee, WookLee@msn.com

9012.
Do these reflections
on nature cross the line from
senryuu to Spamku?

--Wook Lee, WookLee@msn.com

9013.
"If eat SPAM you do
not, then become Spam you will,"
said Master Yoda.

--Wook Lee, WookLee@msn.com

9014.
"Eat SPAM or be SPAM.
There is no try," says Yoda
when Luke hesitates.

--Wook Lee, WookLee@msn.com

9015.
We are only rats
Running through a maze of SPAM
Driving us all mad

--Wild T.

9016.
A whole can of SPAM
On a dare, I swallow it
My throat is a cube

--Wild T.

9017.
I am working in
a pink cubicle, MY GOD!
I'M WORKING IN SPAM!!!

--Wild T.

9018.
Caught my teen age son
Alone, abusing his SPAM
A father so proud

--Wild T.

9019.
New restaurant with
Blue roof. It's "The Interna-
tional House of SPAM"

--Wild T.

9020.
North Atlantic cruise
The cry "SPAMberg, right ahead!"
The Titanic sinks

--Wild T.

9021.
Deep in the jungle
Where Hormel cans go to die
The Lost SPAM Graveyard

--Wild T.

9022.
the Succulent Parts
of Acrid Mammals makes my
intestines shrivel

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

9023.
Oh what I would do
for a hot steaming pile of
the canned meat called SPAM.

--Mike Barber, mbarbare@niu.edu

9024.
gristle squeezed through tube
your soul cubed with added dyes
sad, lost, tragic pig

--Jason, jacepace@nwnexus.com

9025.
SPAM I ate while young
They had to replace my tongue
SPAM, I'll have revenge

--Adam, montypython1@hotmail.com

9026.
My friend, no longer
A massive SPAM attacked them
I weep for their lives

--Adam, montypython1@hotmail.com

9027.
SPAM came from the farm
Block pigs are their origin
Block pigs, our future

--Adam, montypython1@hotmail.com

9028.
SPAM shoes are the way
A soft reflexive cushion
SPAM shoes, our future

--Adam, montypython1@hotmail.com

9029.
Caroline has none
No faith in the blueish can
She will soon be one

--Adam, montypython1@hotmail.com

9030.
I see the green SPAM
I think that it is moldy
I throw the SPAM out

--The Spaminator

9031.
Oh spammy spammy
How couldst thou leave me alone
Amongst this bacon?

--Anonymous

9032.
Obelisk of meat,
I fear your deathly presence.
Frankenstein of pork.

--k.i.

9033.
Pink, yellow, and white
breakfast colors lead me to
cardiac arrest.

--k.i.

9034.
U.N. inspectors
find SPAM in Saddam's Palace.
U.S. planes attack.

--k.i.

9035.
Burst from your fortress,
Slimy Pox Against Mankind.
Your name creates fear.

--k.i.

9036.
SPAM musubi is
Hawaiian delicacy.
They eat raw fish too.

--k.i.

9037.
Turn on computer,
check for e-mail messages,
submit SPAM haiku.

--k.i.

9038.
Keanu eats SPAM
He says it's the last time I
commit suicide.

--Lu, LIV@Ziplink.net

9039.
SPAM is pink and canned
I have to give SPAM a hand
For I'm a huge fan

--Mothra

9040.
SPAM in my cupboard
Left for archaeologists
They will judge harshly

--John, EagleR3008@aol.com

9041.
My friend gave me SPAM
As a joke birthday present
Oh...Happy Birthday

--Pam, Quizkid123@aol.com

9042.
Which is more loathsome
Tastelessly ugly blue cans
Or what lies inside?

--Kristinn Who Denies His Surname, kh46@hotmail.com

9043.
SPAM in a tin can
It smells almost like head cheese
And looks like it too

--grotz@rocketmail.com

9044.
Much like coal-mining
This wretched excuse for meat
Kills the poor slooooowly

--wille

9045.
Wicked! Unwholesome!
Dreams of wild mastication--
lips on hot pink flesh.

--wille-san

9046.
Soft gel. Yellow womb.
Protector of the pink gem--
birthed from a blue tin.

--wille-san

9047.
Gelatinous cube.
Wake the sailor inside me
with your salty meat!

--wille-san

9048.
Squishy pink meat cubes
Destroy your mind and soul, SO...
I'll have TREET instead.

--antifred@yahoo.com

9049.
So simple, and yet
complex, this poetic form
of pink meat and text.

--Kurt Bouman

9050.
In a few short lines
pink unnatural worlds live
on plate and in poem.

--Kurt Bouman

9051.
Sunrise over school.
Teacher shares Spammy haiku--
education treat.

--Kurt Bouman

9052.
"I'm your Ice Cream SPAM
Stop me when I pass you by"
Song by Spam Halen

--WKSOFFART

9053.
"Surely you don't have
sex with SPAM!" "I do, and stop
calling me Shirley."

--WKSOFFART

9054.
Writers of SPAMku
Tell detractors, "Much like SPAM,
you can just Bite Me."

--Wild T.

9055.
Put SPAMku Artist
On my resume, but still
I can't get a job

--Wild T.

9056.
Baited the rat traps
With SPAM, but to my chagrin
Rats won't touch the stuff

--Wild T.

9057.
Watching a porn flick
Man with a long cubed penis
Johnny "The SPAM" Holmes

--Wild T.

9058.
Obnoxious young brats
Only SPAM served in South Park
It explains a lot

--Wild T.

9059.
One hundred SPAM loaves
I sculpt a lovely woman
I need to get out

--Wild T.

9060.
I would swim the sea
I would walk frozen tundra
For the love of SPAM

--Wild T.

9061.
As a punishment
I ate SPAM until I puked
Done after one bite

--Wild T.

9062.
SPAM is life, my son
It uses every pig part
Nothing left to waste

--Wild T.

9063.
In the bowels of Hell
The smell of brimstone and SPAM
Repent and be saved

--Wild T.

9064.
Release my unit
And jack off with your own SPAM
Thank you very much

--Wild T.

9065.
To get buff, try the
New Eric Cartman Diet
SPAM and Cheezee Poofs

--Wild T.

9066.
I can't believe this
Has happened--I do have SPAM
Sprouting out my ass

--Wild T.

9067.
Gas pains and nausea
Hear children's laughter outside
Must warn them of SPAM

--Wild T.

9068.
Pink death in the streets
Blackness takes over the world
SPAM the Destroyer

--Wild T.

9069.
Can a guy go blind
From excessive SPAM abuse?
My vision is blurred

--Wild T.

9070.
In West Virginia
They have a new use for SPAM
They use it for food

--Wild T.

9071.
Peanuts wrapped in SPAM
With colorful candy shell
Call them "spaM & M's"

--Wild T.

9072.
Judy Garland sings
Somewhere Over The SPAMbow
It makes gay men cry

--Wild T.

9073.
Stake out at Hormel
Truckloads of SPAM are shipped out
Not one pig goes in!!?

--Wild T.

9074.
Mexican Liquor
With a pink chunk, not a worm!
"SPAMcal" Tequila

--Wild T.

9075.
When SPAM is used as
cash, we'll truly have a "Gross"
National Product

--Wild T.

9076.
The gastral abuse
The psychological scars
Shock SPAM Therapy

--Wild T.

9077.
Grandpa's now ninety.
Secret? Oatmeal each morning
and SPAM every night.

--Kurt Bouman

9078.
SPAMku in e-mail
+ Multiple recipients

---

Cubicle laughter

--Anonymous

9079.
Hot, fresh, musubi.
Grease burns my fingertips, but
I forget the pain.

--Anonymous

9080.
SPAM and Mountain Dew:
the secret to good coding.
Ultimate combo.

--Anonymous

9081.
Dreaming of pink meat,
Alas, I cannot taste it.
Can't open the can.

--Anonymous

9082.
Farmer John makes gruel.
Adds some SPAM. The pigs eat it.
Little do they know.

--Anonymous

9083.
Read SPAMku poems,
Couldn't stop laughing. Now I
Got a hernia.

--Anonymous

9084.
within blue hardness
gelatinous naked mass
fresh and spamtastic

--Rick Siger, dinred@aol.com

9085.
giggle giggle flub
mushy gushy tasty spam
in a nice tin tub

--bauber, not able

9086.
spam is like my dog
leaves a bad taste in your mouth
and with lots of flub

--bauber, not able

9087.
you can nuke the spam
puke the spam, still it's scary
it looks so hairy

--bauber, not able

9088.
spam, spam, spam, I am
in a box or with a fox
pam I said I am

--bauber, not able

9089.
SPAM lives alone now
Weeping for its greatest loss
Hormel tins abound

--bwuce

9090.
SPAM in time saves nine
Live and let SPAM, that's the way
The SPAM crumbles, aged

--elena180, elena180@li.net

9091.
SPAM by me, canned buy
The cheese SPAMs alone, far more
SPAM 'tis a page shunned

--elena180, elena180@li.net

9092.
Pink stuff in a box...
A meat I cannot fathom
Is this stuff kosher?

--Chyra, chyral@hotmail.com

9093.
Mr. John Glenn was
SPAM in a can. Flies through space
Burns on re-entry.

--C.L.

9094.
Shaped from memory,
pink, quivering, fleshy SPAM.
A glorious fit.

--k.i.

9095.
Whatever happened
to Miss Piggy and Arnold?
Only Hormel knows.

--k.i.

9096.
He flies deep into
The Fortress of Solitude.
Banned for life: SPAM Man.

--k.i.

9097.
Poor bald-headed SPAM.
What did they do to your hair?
Those cruel butchers.

--k.i.

9098.
From primordial
ooze emerges building blocks
of human race: SPAM.

--k.i.

9099.
Cool stillness of night,
deep silence and solitude.
SPAM burp resonates.

--k.i.

9100.
Your blank expression
belies need for affection.
To love and be loved.

--k.i.