SPAM Haiku 9101-9200

Move backwards to Numbers 9001-9100.


9101.
Eat me now before
Rapture sweeps me to heaven.
SPAM, the chosen one.
--k.i.

9102.
Sitting under cold
waterfall exorcising
the demon of SPAM.

--k.i.

9103.
I fry and I fry.
Pink mucillaginous slab,
You will not turn brown.

--Thomas Dowling, tdowling@ohiolink.edu

9104.
SPAM, porcine ballast
dangling from my airborne berth
I sleep while pigs fly

--derich, derich@pittardsullivan.com

9105.
A haggard gourmet:
"Could you be the progeny...
of French truffle hogs?"

--derich, derich@pittardsullivan.com

9106.
I typed in "humor."
I got the "Spamku Archive."
A loser's rumor.

--Tom Lilly

9107.
No wonder no one
Hires college-grads any more.
Look what you're doing!

--Tom Lilly

9108.
Is that SPAM, Spamku,
Or your Clearasil I smell?
You are wretched meat.

--Tom Lilly

9109.
I would say: "Get a
life," but do I want Spamku
Geeks like you to live?

--Tom Lilly

9110.
I like frat houses.
There, all hated people dwell.
Same with this archive.

--Tom Lilly

9111.
Dante dared hell's stench.
Spamku is my inferno,
you, the shit-eaters.

--Tom Lilly

9112.
Say why SPAM is like
Monica Lewinsky's lips
Both are pink, and suck

--whaarfrat

9113.
my queer mantra: oink...
echoes through your fragrant shrine
kiss the pink adobe

--sticky

9114.
The green eggs and SPAM
Satan satan satan meat
Grizzly Addams SPAM

--Rusty, jennifer.aldrich@digxpr.com

9115.
spam a tin of food
looking pink and faintly rude
the taste does you good

--dave slade

9116.
I fed my cat SPAM
She refused her pink dinner
The cat got thinner

--dave slade

9117.
2022:
Austin Winter Olympics--
Hurling, not curling.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9118.
SPAMkuists, bear in
Mind the phrase "De mortuis
Nil nisi bonum."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9119.
Black rights--Black Panthers;
Elderly--Grey Panthers; SPAM
Eaters--Pink Panthers!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9120.
Dilbert's revenge: he
Writes SPAMku in work time and
He still gets paid. YES!!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9121.
Alien book is
finally translated--its
title: To Serve SPAM.

--Anonymous

9122.
I saw my brother
Standing on the quiet beach
Eating sandy SPAM

--T. Fudd Pucker-Tucker, ndu75@aol.com

9123.
They fight: "SPAM, spiced ham
best eaten with spoon!" "No, fork!"
I say use a spork.

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

9124.
CRACK sound: can opens!
UGH! sound: the nose smells it too!
Response: mouth slams shut!

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

9125.
Reading and writing
SPAM-ku is as bad for you
as eating the stuff.

--Larry Moo

9126.
Artificial birth,
Undiscriminating egg--
And a SPAM doner

--rbu

9127.
North wind and south wind
Each broods its own preserved death
Men say: SPAM and TREET

--rbu

9128.
Horse eyes and boar heads
Blenderized to a pulpy!
Swallow these yummies!

--Billy Bob Choochoo, no thank you@poo_poo.com

9129.
rapacious raptors
consuming big lardy chunks
SPAM is the result

--Billy Bob Choochoo, anomynous

9130.
Il fait froid dehors
Le feu s'est déjà éteint
La fièvre réchauffe bien

--szg@hotmail.com

9131.
Does SPAM float or sink?
Only one way to find out
as I cross the stream.

--k.i.

9132.
Mad Cow Disease, AIDS,
Toxic Shock Syndrome, Anthrax,
Cancer, Sarin, SPAM.

--k.i.

9133.
Dear Hormel: Sell me
the rights to make SPAM piggy
bank and paper weight.

--k.i.

9134.
Is that really all
of Miss Piggy or did she
just have a SPAM job?

--k.i.

9135.
What is the reason
for pork barrel politics?
Uncle Spam at work.

--k.i.

9136.
Put SPAM bait in trap
to entice starving vermin.
Mice looking for food.

--k.i.

9137.
"Martini--shaken,
not stirred. And a SPAMBURGER!"
...early Bond faux pas.

--Adam Richter

9138.
Oliver Twist, in
an orphanage, given SPAM:
"Please, sir, not so much!"

--Adam Richter

9139.
"Blood sucks! I crave SPAM,
the lunch meat of the undead!"
declared the SPAMpire

--Adam Richter

9140.
Red sky, earthquakes, floods,
ten thousand SPAMku...signs of
the apocalypse

--Adam Richter

9141.
Homer Simpson meal:
Duff beer, pork rinds, candy bars.
SPAM? Too unhealthy!

--Adam Richter

9142.
At Senate hearings
The truth is finally out
Clinton gave her SPAM

--Anonymous

9143.
I look for pictures
Many SPAM pictures I got
On the newsgroup list

--CT

9144.
SPAM has performed an
illegal operation
and will be shut down.

--k.i.

9145.
In San Francisco
SPAM at Japantown Denny's
Hawaiian breakfast

--Andy Chapman

9146.
Lick SPAM from the floor
Slap it--it sticks on the door
Come to MAMA, SPAM

--Jed, bigbum@home.com

9147.
SPAM's a lovely food,
though SPAM is not good for me.
I'll give it to you.

--Jared Crookston

9148.
Amazing it is...
A pink solid with gel-like
properties...called SPAM...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9149.
What nutrients in
the SPAM may be extracted
for personal use?

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9150.
SPAM, SPAM, magical
meat, the more you eat, the more
you...uhh...more you...eat.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9151.
SPAM, root of evil.
It must be Beelzebub's work.
Stay away from it.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9152.
enigmatic brick
Shackelton wished he had some
expedition treat

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9153.
phlogopite proxy
heterogeneous pile
are you edible?

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9154.
jiggle on my plate
like octopus in tide pool
pink slag from Hades

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9155.
strangely attractive
pink parallelopiped
why do I like it?

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9156.
breakfast lunch dinner
Curly Howard of the meats
entertaining food

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9157.
gelatinous mass
pink morsel for sunrise meal
how can I stand it?

--Paul Geithner, paul.geithner@gsfc.nasa.gov

9158.
SPAM can neither be
Created nor demolished:
What an enigma!

--Joe Frick, jrf@amlist.com

9159.
watching rotting spam
hours of internet pleasure
does it decompose?

--Rainer 'Cheri' LeFebvre, Poppacheri@aol.com

9160.
i know how spam sits
chillin' like rabid villain
it can't leave the can

--Rainer 'Cheri' LeFebvre, Poppacheri@aol.com

9161.
My kingdom for some
SPAM is a four letter words
Are not my forte

--David Collins, dcollins@sd.znet.com

9162.
Wayne Gretzky's nose is
Too large and ugly. It should
be replaced with SPAM.

--AntiGretzky, dariarules@juno.com

9163.
Labeedobeedooooooooooooooooooooooo
SPAM is wiggly and jiggly
I shall now vomit

--AntiGretzky, dariarules@juno.com

9164.
Dennis Rodman's hair
is yellow, green, red, or blue
but never SPAM pink.

--Anonymous

9165.
Krzysztof Oliwa
Drops the gloves with block of SPAM
SPAM engulfs his hands

--Krzysztof is the coolest name

9166.
You people are sick
Writing about fucking SPAM
You made me vomit

--Anonymous

9167.
We used SPAM with sex.
It was a good birth control.
Oops, the stick turned blue!

--Anonymous

9168.
I jumped off my roof.
I landed on blocks of SPAM.
I bounced right back up.

--Chef, dariarules@juno.com

9169.
If SPAM played tennis,
Maybe its best player's name
would be Pete SPAMras.

--SPAMsports

9170.
SPAM is on my mind
It is all I think about
It must be brain food

--Allie

9171.
spam is perfection
cannot be improved upon
cannot be made worse

--mike, drjin@aol.com

9172.
SPAM is alien
E.T. loves that rotten stuff
They should get married

--Yippy

9173.
SPAMdex is so cool
Richard Simmons loves it so
He wears it a lot

--return of SPAMdex

9174.
SPAM for TP, mmm
Rotten SPAM for TP, mmm
Eat it while you crap

--TP SPAM

9175.
Hey, where's all the SPAM?
All I see's a friggin' moose!
What's going on here?

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9176.
I don't eat my SPAM.
It just might corrupt my mind.
Hitler ate his SPAM...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

9177.
Bountiful, heaving,
mouth-watering mounds of flesh.
It's Spam Anderson.

--k.i.

9178.
Can of SPAM and box
of baking soda conspire
to become useful.

--k.i.

9179.
Third string quarterback
warming bench, reading playbook.
Can of SPAM rusting.

--k.i.

9180.
Moral citizens
Say "Ban SPAM" but abusus
Non tollit usum.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9181.
Is SPAM horse eyeballs?
Or is SPAM dog and cat guts?
Maybe it is both.

--Derek Brinkley

9182.
Assassination!
The real foods whisper darkly--
plotting SPAM's demise

--wille-san

9183.
Wilderness sunrise--
color of 99 SPAMs
I envy the blind

--wille-san

9184.
Zeno's paradox
When applied to half a SPAM
is TERROR defined!

--wille-san

9185.
The monks of Lhasa
have no sex, drugs, booze, or SPAM.
Happy little guys...

--wille-san

9186.
what utter madness
unknown parts of unknown beasts
sit upon store shelves

--mike fink, miketmbg@aol.com

9187.
out of the blue: spam
licking the spam gelatin
woe is spam is me

--claudette, kotabaru@eden.rutgers.edu

9188.
Everyone love SPAM
SPAM is the greatest ever
Everyone love SPAM

--Stephanie, amcd@bc.sympatico.ca

9189.
Canned mass of pink slime
Calmly waiting on the shelf
For its next victim.

--Jareb Barcus, beraj@hotmail.com

9190.
I felt sick one day.
I ate some SPAM to soothe me.
It made me feel worse.

--Jareb Barcus, beraj@hotmail.com

9191.
For nutrition's sake
Lives given unselfishly
Anonymously

--Pete Rendich

9192.
Human engineers
can make a pig greater than
the sum of its parts.

--Pete Rendich

9193.
Cold Hawaii morning.
"Da Locals" favorite foods:
SPAM, rice, and fried eggs!

--R. MOTOGAWA, RMOTO@HOTMAIL.COM

9194.
Pig government claims,
"No more pigs will starve this year!"
Answer: Soylent Pink.

--Pete Rendich

9195.
Object of desire
Within the 808 State:
Enigma indeed

--John Spitzer, spit@sgi.com

9196.
Why is SPAM so pink?
I need some more SPAM jelly!
You gonna eat that?

--Anonymous

9197.
O SPAM, what am I
but a connoisseur of thou--
mayo on the side...

--Anonymous

9198.
Luscious and shiny
Cool to touch, a bit slimy
Easily slides down

--Anonymous

9199.
Spamnambulistic;
frying SPAM that's baby Pam?
I wake up screaming!

--Greg Smith, FKindler @ Netcom.com

9200.
Why am I called SPAM?
They don't know what I'm made of...
I'm mystery meat!

--Don S., koth@csrlink.net


Move forwards to Numbers 9201-9300.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.