Our Unfortunate Aunt Edith
Kevin Wald
Each clue in the table yields a word that consists of two or more Roman numerals separated by instances of the vowels A, E, O and U. As hinted at in the flavortext, these four vowels stand for arithmetical operations. Specifically, they stand for the four basic arithmetic operations, in the order obtained by matching up the phrase "Our Unfortunate Aunt Edith" with the phrase "My Dear Aunt Sally" from the common mnemonic for the precedence of operations: O is multiplication, U is division, A is addition, and E is subtraction. Thus, each answer represents an arithmetic expression that can be evaluated:
| B | DELI | 500 - 51 = 449 | DIALED | 501 + 50 - 500 = 51 | MACED | 1000 + 100 - 500 = 600 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| F | CADUCEI | 100 + 500 / 100 - 1 = 104 | LEVI | 50 - 6 = 44 | CUM | 100 / 1000 = 0.1 |
| G | MOVED | 1000 * 5 - 500 = 4500 | LUMMOX | 50 / 2000 * 10 = 0.25 | VAV | 5 + 5 = 10 |
| H | MIAMI | 1001 + 1001 = 2002 | DUMDUM | 500 / 1500 / 1000 = (1/3000) | LIVED | 54 - 500 = -446 |
| K | ??? | ??? | COX | 100 * 10 = 1000 | DEDUCED | 500 - 500 / 100 - 500 = -5 |
| N | CAD | 100 + 500 = 600 | VIOL | 6 * 50 = 300 | LOVED | 50 * 5 - 500 = -250 |
| P | DOC | 500 * 100 = 50000 | MEM | 1000 - 1000 = 0 | LOX | 50 * 10 = 500 |
| R | LAX | 50 + 10 = 60 | LUX | 50 / 10 = 5 | DUD | 500 / 500 = 1 |
| S | DECAL | 500 - 100 + 50 = 450 | MUD | 1000 / 500 = 2 | MADAM | 1000 + 500 + 1000 = 2500 |
| T | LEI | 50 - 1 = 49 | DIED | 501 - 500 = 1 | MUM | 1000 / 1000 = 1 |
| W | DAD | 500 + 500 = 1000 | DAMMED | 500 + 2000 - 500 = 2000 | LADLED | 50 + 550 - 500 = 100 |
| Y | DECEIVED | 500 - 100 - 4 - 500 = -104 | MOVIEDOM | 1000 * 6 - 500 * 1000 = -494000 | DIVED | 504 - 500 = 4 |
Each clue below the table yields a five-letter answer consisting of three consonants indicating rows of the table, separated again by the vowels A, E, O, and U. If you take the value in the first column for the first consonant, the second column for the second consonant, and the third column for the third consonant, and combine them using the indicated operations, you get the following:
TEN OF: 49 - 300 * 0.1 = 19
SARAH: 450 + 5 + (-446) = 9
YUKON: (-104) / 1000 * (-250) = 26
KOPEK: ??? * 0 - (-5) = 5 (no matter what the
first-column K value is)
FOGEY: 104 * 0.25 - 4 = 22
BEFOG: 449 - 44 * 10 = 9
NOHOW: 600 * (1/3000) * 100 = 20
GOSUB: 4500 * 2 / 600 = 15
POTUS: 50000 * 1 / 2500 = 20
HEWER: 2002 - 2000 - 1 = 1
WAY UP: 1000 + (-494000) / 500 = 12
REBUT: 60 - 51 / 1 = 9
By the usual A = 1, B = 2 code, these numbers yield: SIZE VI TOTAL I. The answer is the only Scrabble-legal six-letter word that would yield the value 1 as per the upper table; this is (as can be confirmed by a computer search) DIADEM.