SPAM Haiku 17101-17200

Move backwards to Numbers 17001-17100.


17101.
The cockroach wanders
desperately for a bite
to eat and finds SPAM!
--Megan Novara, rjsmyluvbear@aol.com

17102.
thousands of SPAMku
how will I find the perfect
one in so many?

--Chuck Beard

17103.
rioters beware
or SWAT teams will shoot you with
"nonlethal" SPAM guns

--Chuck Beard

17104.
reading my email
there's nothing but spam, spam, spam
though none about SPAM

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@operamail.com

17105.
SPAM on the mountain
cold, congealed, delightful meat.
At home, for rover.

--k.d. ryan

17106.
pale, twitching, sweating
obvious SPAM withdrawal
"I can quit," he says

--Chuck Beard

17107.
the Hormel SWAT team
stands ready to raid shipments
of the bootleg SPAM

--Chuck Beard

17108.
new worldwide terror
orbital SPAM bombardment
from new space station

--Chuck Beard

17109.
SPAM and cheese blend paste
new snack food and agent of
cholesterolcide

--Chuck Beard

17110.
Hey, what do they call
unwanted messages on
SPAM bulletin boards?

--Chuck Beard

17111.
College student dreams--
someday he'll recall proudly,
his poverty, SPAM.

--k.d. ryan

17112.
All you have to do
is close your eyes and pretend
that the SPAM is ham.

--Chuck Beard

17113.
turning in more 'ku
one hundred and fifty here
yes, I have no life

--Chuck Beard

17114.
salty with jelly
good on toast with some ketchup
the perfect snack food

--Anonymous

17115.
President Clinton:
"We did not have relations,
I gave her some SPAM."

--Anonymous

17116.
If these SPAM loaves don't
stop falling from the sky like
rain, I'll go crazy!!!

--Fozzie

17117.
Before eating SPAM,
I inject it with morphine
to deaden its pain.

--Fozzie

17118.
The Dave Matthews Band
has nothing to do with SPAM.
I still like them though.

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17119.
Summon all your chi
Honor Focus Discipline
Find your inner SPAM

--Ryan Wick

17120.
Your attention for
My tribute to Terry Jones:
SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM!

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@operamail.com

17121.
Finished a whole can
Awful feeling of remorse:
I am a vegan

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@operamail.com

17122.
Jews and Muslims fight
They don't see their common ground:
Aversion to SPAM

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@pandora.be

17123.
Industrialized
slaughter of pigs on steroids.
Have another slice!

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@pandora.be

17124.
Oink, oink. (far off) Oink?
Splam him Earl! BOOM swoosh Spul-AM.
Splam. Sixty buckets.

--Warren Andersen

17125.
Postponing writing,
My mind wanders to pink meat:
SPAM, take me away!

--Kurt Bouman

17126.
Chef tries something new:
SPAM in hot chocolate sauce.
Not best idea.

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@pandora.be

17127.
Many years from now
Historians will wonder
"How could they eat that?!?"

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@pandora.be

17128.
Pigs will get revenge!
Evolve intelligence and
sell cans of SPUMAN.

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@pandora.be

17129.
He said, "Eat, drink, and
be merry." You think he was
talking about SPAM?

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17130.
China sells cheap SPAM.
No wonder those pilots are
all still over there.

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17131.
"Excuse me, do you
have any SPAM?" A lame joke,
hardly a haiku.

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17132.
Vikings were here first
And set up a company.
That's right! Hormel, Inc.

--stant6@dandy.net

17133.
Pregnant SPAM cravings
So wickedly compelling
Led me to the fridge

--Lisa "I only have a dollar" Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17134.
Childhood memory
Macaroni casserole
Burnt SPAM floats on top

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17135.
Why I love it so
Like my clan in its trailer
SPAM lives in a can

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17136.
Pigs run through my dreams
Herded to giant grinder
Endless SPAM nightmare

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17137.
Much longer shelf-life
Than the men who come and go
Pink slab fills my needs

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17138.
SPAM is my best friend
It never leaves the seat up
Makes no sound but "slurp"

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17139.
eat piglet eyeballs
and rhinoceros snout-lips
compressed into cans

--Louise Powell, louiseteresa@webtv.net

17140.
I gave up SPAM for
Lent. With it, indigestion
and diarrhea.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17141.
See SPAM. See SPAM run.
Oh Dick, let's feed Spot some SPAM.
See Spot. See Spot barf.

--Warren Andersen

17142.
Our world grows crowded.
In the end, what will survive?
Bugs and SPAM. Karma.

--Warren Andersen

17143.
Oh geletinous
pink mound of mystery meat.
Wither comest thou?

--Warren Andersen

17144.
Pork innards disguised
With spices, blue tin, pink dye
Sliced, diced, it's still SPAM

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17145.
Porcine epitaphs
SPAM River Anthology
Here lie empty cans

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17146.
Oink? Farr Earl. How Farr?
Farr huner feet. BAM SPulAM.
Lite Farr. Bar-BQ.

--Warren Andersen

17147.
unopened SPAM can
dates back to 1940s--
antique roadshow find

--k.d. ryan

17148.
Poached from museum
Vintage lunchmeat and pepper
Lindy hops with tongue

--Anonymous

17149.
The blue can conceals
diabolical secret:
cloven-hoofed mincemeat.

--Milford Pigboy

17150.
Paté of pig fat
"spiced" with sodium nitrite:
it's Beelzebub's treat.

--Milford Pigboy

17151.
Souls of the damned cry
out in anguish: SPAM is their
eternal diet.

--Milford Pigboy

17152.
With which utensil
should one eat choc'late covered
SPAM? Four-tined pitchfork.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17153.
It's a mystery.
Chinese koan--What's the sound
of one SPAM clapping?

--Dawn Ray, craig@me-man.com

17154.
the SPAM can bulges
grab it with the hazmat tongs
seal it in concrete

--Chuck Beard

17155.
crashed in the Arctic
made a spear from frozen SPAM
killed a polar bear

--Chuck Beard

17156.
Arctic survival
gutted bear with SPAM can edge
feasted on its flesh

--Chuck Beard

17157.
pulling the trigger
on your SPAM gun should not be
a casual choice

--Chuck Beard

17158.
Ee-eye-ee-eye-oh
To the cannery I go
Life is just too slow

--Fwed

17159.
Three little piggies
Hogs today, SPAM tomorrow
Fairy tale over

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17160.
SPAM for breakfast. SPAM
for lunch, and SPAM for dinner.
A twenty-day fast.

--Dawn Ray, craig@me-man.com

17161.
Rank, pink explosion.
Accident at Hormel can
ruin your whole day.

--Dawn Ray, craig@me-man.com

17162.
Pre-formed pork product,
your meat is gelatinous.
Slide down my throat, please.

--Kristine Shafer, kristine@intelligent-imaging.com

17163.
Eat SPAM, type SPAM but
spasm makes typed SPAM "SPASM"
. . . could one sell SPASM?

--Harrison Fisher

17164.
SPAM so soft and sweet
I will be your only one
Roll in your jelly

--Jaysen Johnson, j12077@aol.com

17165.
What is it, lips, ears,
peckers? Depends on the whims
of the meat grinder.

--Milford Pigboy

17166.
Hormel cuts work force--
Center for Disease Control
breathes sigh of relief.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17167.
Try packing SPAM for
your picnic--not to eat, but
to repel the ants.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17168.
Japanese cult planned
to leave SPAM on subway, but
settled for sarin.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17169.
Each time scientists
have cloned SPAM, the result has
been sheep dung. Dolly's?

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17170.
O rounded square tin
Not one thing or another
Koan on my shelf

--Eve, eveh@peoplepc.com

17171.
Tin of SPAM waiting
for natural disasters
trembling in earthquakes.

--Eve, eveh@peoplepc.com

17172.
SPAM is good for me
I like SPAM and it likes me
Eat SPAM eat SPAM eat

--lit'l jack horner

17173.
The pink squishy pig
found his way into a can
and voilà, it's SPAM!

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

17174.
it's all about SPAM
let it go KERPLUNK! KERPLOP!
only once a week

--Anonymous

17175.
OM to the SPAM, OM!
I forget all my problems
OM SPAM OM SPAM OM!

--lit'l jack horner

17176.
it's a SPAM skyline
it's all across your tired face
dreams pink crystalline

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

17177.
uckingfay AMSPAY
akesmay emay iverquay
ammitday AMSPAY!

--lit'l jack horner

17178.
uckingfay AMSPAY
akesmay emay iverquay
ammitday imJay!

--lit'l jack horner

17179.
Glowing, dans la nuit,
So ever effervescent.
Snacktacular SPAM.

--Ceramium Deslongchampii, i851z@unb.ca

17180.
The "meat" told me to
So I killed them all REAL SLOW
Son of SPAM Murder

--breaker, breaker021@hotmail.com

17181.
New Monsanto SPAM
Genetic'ly engineered--
Now twice as lethal

--Cure 81.9

17182.
To retaliate,
China strikes back with food craze--
New "Bald Eagle SPAM"

--Cure 81.9

17183.
Pee Wee Herman screams,
"I LOVE SPAM!" but please don't ask
him to marry it...

--Cure 81.9

17184.
can opener sings
gutturally, lonely love
and is requited

--Kevin "ow, my aching head" Vigor, hormel@vigor.nu

17185.
Open can and gasp!
"This SPAM loaf has been slimed!" Meat
does not come like this.

--Milford Pigboy

17186.
Artfully arranged
rosette of pink SPAM slices
looks like hemorrhoids.

--Milford Pigboy

17187.
SPAM in the shower
First rub in hair, then apply
to face. Do not rinse!

--Looper, tylermfoster@hotmail.com

17188.
SPAM learns from PB
Now offers chunky or smooth
New variety

--Looper, tylermfoster@hotmail.com

17189.
Chairman Kaga says,
"Choose your theme ingredient!"
I will select SPAM.

--Iron Chef Mike, mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17190.
Thanks to hoof and mouth,
Butcher's shelves are all empty;
SPAM is disease free.

--Anti-Vegetarian Mike, mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17191.
Lost in the market;
Identical aisles mocking;
SPAM is my north star.

--Navigator Mike, mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17192.
SPAM Lite? What the hell!?
Do you know what that is called?
An oxymoron.

--mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17193.
Pink when raw or cooked,
SPAM can't be controlled by you;
Untameable meat.

--Chef Mike, mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17194.
Browsing through the Web
This question comes to my mind:
Why no porn with SPAM?

--Filthy Thoughts

17195.
Ragged shard of tin,
Blood spills from my cut finger;
I suffer for SPAM.

--SPAMartyr, mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17196.
Mayonnaise spread on white bread,
Glass of milk and SPAM!
Call it WASP soul food!

--Sticks

17197.
What is yonder stench
wafting across the desert?
SPAM in the making.

--Milford Pigboy

17198.
When the south wind blows,
close windows, burn incense and
strong-scented candles.

--Milford Pigboy

17199.
Can we bring a few
more pigs into your desert?
They smell very sweet.

--Milford Pigboy

17200.
I should try some SPAM
I'm a vegetarian
Maybe it's not meat

--Jennifer S, nitrojen99@aol.com


Move forwards to Numbers 17201-17300.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.