Crazed Student

T1:

So, what's student life like here?

TG:

MIT is a wonderful place to be. In addition to fun and exciting classes, such as 6.001, you'll have plenty of time for activities such as ...(ad lib until interrupted.)

CS:

(cuts in, yelling) NOOOOOO!! STOP!!! There's still time!! Don't come here! It's terrible! It's horrible! Oh, the things they'll do to you! Oh, the humanity!! The Horror! The Horror! The Horror!

[music begins]

Yesterday
Freshman classes were such easy A's
Now I barely have a GPA
Oh I believe in yesterday
MIT
Aramark has slowly poisoned me
Haven't slept since 1993
Oh please don't come to MIT
If you come to hell I can't tell
how much you'll pay.
I H T F P, can't you see
my hair's turned gray?
The Great Dome
Barker Library's become my home
Eating meals from out of styrofoam
Trapped inside of the Great Dome.
Yesterday
Thesis due date seemed so far away
My advisor says I'd better pray
'cause my deadline was yesterday.

LP:

(with white lab coats, and syringe) There he is! We've been looking all over for you. It's back to lab with you.

CS:

(grabs at students) NO! you mustn't let them ...take ...me ...

LP:

(taking a hold of CS) We'd better sedate him. Come now.

CS:

Don't let them get ...toooo ...yooouuuuhngh ...LP pull him off)

TG:

(nervous) Heh heh, just another, um, example, uh of the many interesting activities, ahem, here at MIT. We're walking, we're walking.