SPAM Haiku 11701-11800

Move backwards to Numbers 11601-11700.


11701.
"Dorchestah kneads Spem"
Mumbles the Boston mayor
Or something like that..
--Hotline Bobby, rwright@hotmail.com

11702.
Mmmm, SPAM and crackers
Crackers do eat the most SPAM
Wonder why that is?

--2B or X 2B, Avon Md.

11703.
SPAMku is dying
A very slow, painful death--
Let me help you out?

--Jess Meridith

11704.
Submit to SPAMku
the God of everything pink
and typing in tongues.

--2B or X 2B, Avon Md.

11705.
Non absorbent SPAM
Makes great reusable wipes
For ifs, ands, or butts

--Granny Ragg, Lake Sunapee Nh

11706.
Used to be winsome
Had the cutest bald taco
Made with SPAM of course

--Granny Ragg, Lake Sunapee Nh

11707.
Now my bald taco
Sags like a SPAMchilada
And smells like one too!

--Granny Ragg, Lake Sunapee Nh

11708.
But Jim and old Bill
Go down south of pink border
They're that kind of guy

--Granny Ragg, Lake Sunapee Nh

11709.
Blue can of lugis
Hawked up from TB'd lung lobes--
Momma calls it SPAM.

--Princess Phlegm , aka Di

11710.
At my autopsy
The folks round the table screamed
SPAM! and left the room.

--Porky , That's all folks!

11711.
SPAM tapioca
Colorful vomit pudding
You are now expelled!

--SPAMevil CANevil, drad derring doe

11712.
Spamglish spoken here
We will accept your food stamps
How much $pam you got?

--Capt. SPAMerica, Only in the USA

11713.
"Cross you legs KT
Your SPAM taco is showing!"
No fast food was this.

--Gourmet Tacos

11714.
New York SPAM City
Wall to wall freaking dildos
Confusion, chaos

--NY Bagbites, soug@applenet.com

11715.
Doctor Schlesinger
Once dated Willie Clinton--
Is his SPAM kosher?

--Judy Krantz, heyjude@telnet.com

11716.
When I go to sleep
I count the little cute hams
Cause there's pork in SPAM

--Joseph, wolgangert@usa.net

11717.
Jack Kevorkian
Should die from a lethal dose
Of liquified SPAM

--Government approves of what, the mad doc is doing. $aves money

11718.
Misty soft voices
Drift by my hospital room
Mumbling..."She ate SPAM."

--Freely Feely

11719.
Is a pink guy next?
Chewing SPAM while working out.
Cry baby Tyson.

--Gerry Aguerlita, gera@mindnet.com

11720.
Python's of Monty,
Loud phartz in my direction.
I'm not a Frenchman!

--Sterling Silva, Locojoker1@aol.com

11721.
I sat on my SPAM
Brooding...trying to hatch it.
Naked, lonely, wet.

--Robert E. Lee

11722.
SPAM is a square meal
When you chop off the excess--
Not so for pasta!

--Roberta E. Lee

11723.
Give SPAM a pet name.
Talk to it, bathe it, stroke it
We do pet eats but....

--Roberta E. Leer, We don't eat pets.

11724.
SPAM flavored crack jums--
Addiction's screaming answer.
What was the question?

--Roberta E. Leery

11725.
The baby's diaper
Smelling up the parking lot--
Hmmmm, I need more SPAM.

--Awilda Cruz-Delgadon't, A-wild-a

11726.
Premier Khruschev said
that the Red Army used to
eat a lot of SPAM.

--dewey roy

11727.
O Communion
Sweet wine and wafers and SPAM
The liver of Christ

--reverend SPAM

11728.
it once was my cat
now, alas my cat is gone
her tomb a small can

--Spamicus

11729.
Dream persecutions;
Nightmares, hallucinations--
Having eaten SPAM.

--Tofu Pup, shaw@prodigy.com

11730.
Trout tail...pool eddies
Little globes of The Pink Meat
Tempting tasy gems

--Spinner Man, trout in the pan (_*<'}(((((><_)====::

11731.
Passionate for meat
Growling orders "Waitress now!"
*scowl*....She serves me SPAM.

--Bob's Diner, Anonymous Anonymous

11732.
Spamicule meat flecks
Cling to my plate and I smile,
But no one smiles back.

--Jasipoo P.

11733.
Until college days
I prayed never to SPAM snack.
Unanswered requests.

--Jasipoo P.

11734.
My bow string broken.
No beautiful music now--
My tie fell in SPAM.

--G27, 53D

11735.
Cold, frosted glasses
Served with my warm SPAM dinner
Keep me from seeing.

--G27, 53D

11736.
Disgusting ain't it?
Lying chunks of phoney meat--
Bubba Bill and SPAM.

--Ollie? Yes Stanley

11737.
If SPAM were alive
Conscious of its existence
Would SPAM kill itself?

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11738.
The enlightened pig
Does not fear the cold blue can
SPAM is part of life

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11739.
A Thanksgiving SPAM
Is much cheaper than turkey
But harder to stuff.

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11740.
crisp blue mountain air
early morning deep blue lake
shock! blue can floats by

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11741.
Said a pork chop once
"Would you love me were I SPAM?"
Chef chokes, turns away.

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11742.
In SPAM universe
simple static model found:
SPAM taste counters mass.

--Erik Shirokoff, shiro@uclink4.berkeley.edu

11743.
Brave kitchen sentry
One solitary SPAM can
Cabinet soldier

--Queeine The Nurse

11744.
If nobody heard
When you farted in the woods,
Would it still smell bad?

--Queeine The Nurse

11745.
I speak to my SPAM
In tongues, hawgmaws, and Gaelic
It answers me thus........................!

--Sean Del Ecatessen

11746.
The pink holy grail,
Well within my humble grasp--
Water closet cold.

--Thumonda Skales, sveedish vun yak? bjork-bjork!

11747.
I had SPAM for lunch.
Happiness fills prayer gods--
She'll need us anon.

--G27, D53

11748.
To poop or to puke?
Run the gauntlet fleet footed--
SPAM is divisive.

-- Mark Andrews

11749.
Indians question--
Signals of smoke give the clues.
"Your-SPAM-is-burning!"

--Dianna the squaw, Eastie!

11750.
The nights that say Knee,
Leg pit fetishist's stalking--
Soles toe the arch heels.

--SPAMmish Gibe

11751.
'Flicted by SPAMku
Is that a true handicap?
A SPAMku-ku-ism?

--I. B. Flicted, u2virgingal@oddnet.come

11752.
Lingering fingers
Of hands in her underwear
Now handle my SPAM.

--Big Joe's Diner, Snapper soup

11753.
Bold spankers of SPAM
Hand maidens of the hot dog--
You're all welcome here.

--Knights of the Crust, Purveyors of the goo in waiting

11754.
The nights that say "nee!"
All feel Maid Marion free
But pay for her SPAM.

--Knights of the Crust, Purveyors of the goo in waiting

11755.
From the poor folk come
SPAM like a wildflower is
Somewhere else a weed

--Herbie D. Furby, www.maths.tcd.ie/~belle/haiku.html

11756.
Greasy, saline meat
Legpit drool and toe jam stool
Royalty......... "KING SPAM"!

--Tamus the Rhymer, Gad save the Queen!

11757.
Most powerful SPAM
The food chain's tightest bound link
Ten servings daily

--Fibber Mc Gee, &mollie@healthnet.com

11758.
SPAM sits down to lunch
On the john in the toilet
It keeps me going

--K.T. Phartsum, Jonniesmellsum@night.com

11759.
Partaking of SPAM
Promotes diarrhea breath
Fluxing SPAM lunchmeat

--Charlie Hossman, shins@spaz.com

11760.
SPAM in pipe tobac
Humidicant supremo
A fart in your pipe

--Monkey Chunkies

11761.
Spamenema soup
A delightful yuppie treat
Climbing the ladder

--Yuppies Are;, The cream of the crap!

11762.
two eyes protruding
from damp darkness of cavern
they aren't eyes, but SPAM

--Upchuck & Amiee

11763.
wind in Amiee's hair
nothing in comparison:
Amiee eating SPAM

--Anonymous

11764.
Rock and roll ocean
Seas of my bowels kick box--
Eight, nine, SPAM....YOU'RE OUT!

--Ray Richard

11765.
Boring my SPAMku
Computer worms tunneling
They don't pay the tolls

--Herkimer Meridith, Danvers Rte 114

11766.
Hardly a staple
SPAM can't hold it together
My hat band does that

--Moi Tai Spam Fighter

11767.
SPAM, Spem, Spim, Spom, Spam
It's not hard to spot the SPAM
Felt markers work fine

--Tracey Papers

11768.
My name is "Jimbo"
And I'm a SPAMaholic
Thirteenth stepping you

--JIMBOBO

11769.
oh spamo spamo
they keep you in the can-o
just where i am now

--unclek

11770.
Jesse Ventura
Bald SPAM on a stick....Fargo--
But not far enough

--Brain Booty, Into the woodchipper

11771.
SPAM freckled face girl
God bless me? Thank you so much.
Where is happy dog?

--Fun Duck, Sunless Day

11772.
Tear off a phat piece
Cho's SPAMku toilet tissue
Make your butt happy

--New Cho Product, Happy Butt Toilet Tissue

11773.
Sunrise sparkling pond
Where campers never wander
There are no SPAM cans

--Echo echo

11774.
How do you do it
With Dirt Devil power SPAM
Suck that GD much?

--Jessica Bigbutt Lindsey, I ß Spam 2 much!

11775.
Having spent time there
And you know its location
Pink SPAM is nether

--Smiling Dog, Woof! Woof! pee

11776.
SPAMation putty
Look at it dance like Jacko
Beware cocktail franks

--Fun Duck, hahahaha quack!

11777.
Water wheel resting;
Someone used all the water--
Yes SPAM is salty.

--Jacques Benimbol

11778.
Under night's cover
I weenie walk to my stash--
But it's not that far.

--Weenie Walker, Jwalker@prodnet.come

11779.
Three story sides; yes
There's yours, the bull, and the truth--
Six sided is SPAM.

--Smiling Lizzard

11780.
Pussified pink conch
Slug of malformed afterbirth
Presidential stuff

--Pink Pointer

11781.
Speaking Clintonese
Hold breath after eating SPAM
Place mike near butt hole

--Pink Pointer, Lips that do not move

11782.
Bible toting Bill
The Anti-Christ a Baptist--
SPAM snot devilled ham.

--Pink Pointer, Bill practices safe sax?

11783.
The SPAM becomes her
A sexual bulimic--
Bent on mattress-cide.

--G27, D53

11784.
Reduction impasse
Plateaux deadly hovering--
SPAM is my sponsor.

--Oinkers A. Weigh, Just for today

11785.
Celibatory--
Eating Jell-O and not SPAM
Protein martyrdom

--Martyrdumb, Powerless@overeating.anything

11786.
All of the SPAMku
In alphabet soup letters--
Are turning to crap.

--Campbell Zoop

11787.
Goop still on my tongue
Her SPAM still warm in distress--
Or in dem bloomers.

--Grinchly Smutheringill, yUK@yUK.com

11788.
Mary Holt hot SPAM
For her good buddy Larry--
Now there's a real friend.

--Not Larry/Not Mary

11789.
The SPAM hit a chord
in my life. Thus, I join the
hollow, empty men.

--J. Alfred Prufrock, where are you?

11790.
Christmas gift supreme
Time enough to digest all
12,000 SPAMku

--Gimme Gimmie

11791.
Riverlets of tears
Sadness hit the floor and bounced
SPAM the dog just laughed

--Jack Donahue

11792.
I sigh SEMPER FI
And look back on days of SPAM--
We won the war but.

--Big AL

11793.
Frantic lipid lust
Arteriosclerosis
Blood flow slows then stops

--Charles Johnston, csjohnston@person.net

11794.
Tin chastity belt,
unlock your treasure, give me
your moist pink manna.

--kevin_dooley@peoplesoft.com

11795.
All good French chefs know
Nothing makes a cassoulet
Sing like SPAM confit.

--Philip Welsh, fishie_pie@hotmail.com

11796.
SPAM, the dusty tin
Sitting on the cupboard shelf
I will never eat

--Christina Walker

11797.
My Grandmother eats
delightful SPAM sandwiches--
"meat" nestled in toast.

--Christina Walker

11798.
SPAM is really swell
It has such a grotesque smell
Can gag a maggot

--Lon Britton, VALTRE7@aol.com

11799.
No SPAMo no cry
Can always have de hot dog
No SPAMo I die

--SPAM O' Marley, De Blunt (__{__}____}}}}~~~~

11800.
SPAM be de ting man,
I used to keep me alive--
No SPAM boy I die.

--Spamo Marley, No woman no cry


Move forwards to Numbers 11801-11900.
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John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.