SPAM Haiku 1201-1300

Move backwards to Numbers 1101-1200.

1201.
SPAM is on my mind.
I wonder if it can think?
Ponder its wisdom.

--Sam Walker, sundiver@jaka.nn.com

1202.
Theologians ask:
If God is just, then why does
He let SPAM exist?

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1203.
And on the 8th day,
God created SPAM. He should
have rested then, too.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1204.
Naming years: B.H.
(Before Hormel) or A.S.
(Anno SPAMini).

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1205.
Mountains will crumble.
Rivers and seas will dry up.
What shall endure? SPAM.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1206.
What if there was no
SPAM? What whould we write about?
Treet? I don't think so.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1207.
Coming soon for the
poetically ambitious:
The SPAM Sonnet Page.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1208.
I'm listening to
"Takin' Care of Business"
and scarfing SPAM--Bliss

--Alec Proudfoot, alec@netcom.com

1209.
Better on way up
Scoop with spoon to choke back down
Second time up--good

--Anonymous

1210.
SPAM haiku Web site--
Creative spirit awakes,
wasting a morning.

--Tommer Peterson, tommer@artswire.org

1211.
Awash in SPAM dreams.
Pale sunlight softly touches
fresh barf on the floor.

--Tommer Peterson, tommer@artswire.org

1212.
Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink,
oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink!
Oink, oink, oink. Death. SPAM.

--Tommer Peterson, tommer@artswire.org

1213.
Licking wet pinkness,
engorged hot fervor juices.
Tongue cut on the can!

--Tommer Peterson, tommer@artswire.org

1214.
Mild-mannered tinned meat;
Look! Is it a bird? A pig?
No. It's SuperSPAM.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

1215.
My powers wane; strange
Effects. Closest thing to Red
Kryptonite for man.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

1216.
Grandma cooked us SPAM.
Grandpa ate it. We didn't.
His inheritance...

--Scott Zacher, scottz@nwu.edu

1217.
Linoleum grey.
Elsie's creamed SPAM casserole:
a porcine nightmare.

--Tommer Peterson, tommer@artswire.org

1218.
Cured pork shoulder, ground.
Cubed, skewered, hickory smoked.
Fools cower in fear.

--Don Thompson, don@shadow.net

1219.
Pork bellies are down,
Gelatin futures look bleak.
Heard it on C-SPAM.

--Jon Howell, jhowell@us.oracle.com

1220.
SPAM is a force most
irresistable. My bowels,
most immovable.

--Jon Howell, jhowell@us.oracle.com

1221.
Christopher Robin:
"Who took my last can of SPAM?!"
Piglet's on a date.

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1222.
Spock's ears arouse the
Pig-folk of Beta Seven
Set phasers on "cube"

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1223.
Ito smiles sweetly
The SPAM under his robe feels
Really good today

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1224.
Volume of a pig?
Easy to compute with SPAM
Length times height times width

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1225.
daddy's got a job
carving figurines from SPAM
good work if can get

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1226.
O! Those naughty boars!
Gruntin' and a-squealing and
Jumpin' into cans.

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1227.
Turned on bath water;
Along with duck, dropped in SPAM--
My own Bay of Pigs.

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1228.
"Kirk to Mr. Scott:
You sent Spock, but I got SPAM!
Fix transporter soon."

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1229.
I opened a can
Tiny evil pigs flapped out
Pandora's box lunch

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1230.
Rudimentary
Circulation system is
Regenerating

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1231.
Dreamed the other night
I was talking to the pigs
"Why us?" they wondered

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1232.
Peering in the can
I could see the future clear
It looked rather pink

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1233.
A fine meal until
The rest of the pig showed up
To reclaim his chunk.

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1234.
Car is broken down.
I reach for the SPAM-er wrench.
Car is still broken.

--Walter Myers, wvmyers@planacc.com

1235.
I opened the door
Only to be confronted
By a wall of SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1236.
The protesters marched
Holding their placards aloft
"We Demand Free SPAM"

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1237.
Enormous SPAM slide
Hundreds of houses buried
The rescue dogs eat...

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1238.
Tick, tock, the SPAM clock
Tells me when it's time to eat
It's always SPAM time

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1239.
A year of free SPAM
Took advantage of the deal
Ate most of a tin

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1240.
Disney's The SPAM King
"Can You Feel The SPAM Tonight?"
SPAM roams the pride lands

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1241.
Got in a SPAM fight.
Pink chunks streaking through the air.
Splat! Screams of disgust.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1242.
Tasty SPAM custard
Serve it to all of your friends
Laugh as they turn pale

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1243.
In the darkened room
The SPAM cans whisper gently
Soft SPAM mutterings.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1244.
Teflon coated SPAM
More slippery than normal
And heat resistant

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1245.
If Hormel branched out
With new meat types, we might see
Spicken, Spish, or Speef.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1246.
Playing with SPAM and
Genetic engineering
Strange horrors result.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1247.
As I yawned deeply
My friend jammed SPAM in my mouth
I force fed him can

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1248.
One hot summer day
I found some SPAM in the street.
The smell? Amazing!

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1249.
Try SPAM flavored beer,
And after you've drunk it all,
You can chew the bits.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1250.
All this SPAM haiku
If we keep writing so much
We'll run out of words

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1251.
The SPAM tin grew hot
The metal began to bulge
I watched in horror

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1252.
SPAM ear protection
Cram some SPAM into your ears
What was that you said?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1253.
Get your beauty sleep
On a bed made from fresh SPAM
Then--breakfast in bed!

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1254.
Listen, good people
Deny ye not your SPAM love
Lest SPAM make you ill

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1255.
Sit and meditate
Let thoughts of SPAM fill your mind.
And you will be...SPAM.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1256.
Once you've tasted SPAM
Your life is changed forever
Pity the addict

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1257.
With chainsaw snarling
I lunged towards the SPAM cans
Must destroy evil!

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1258.
Lunch, breakfast, dinner
All I ever eat is SPAM
I'm wasting away...

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1259.
Don't ridicule me
I see nothing wrong with my
All-SPAM three piece suit

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1260.
We beheld the SPAM
Its pink glory moved us all
We worshipped its form

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1261.
My constant nightmare
Slowly sink in SPAM jelly
I wake up screaming

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1262.
Do you suffer from
SPAMojellophobia?
Fear of SPAM jelly.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1263.
The mighty boat sank
Screaming people clung to SPAM
And the band played on

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1264.
Good, dutiful SPAM
Lined up in supermarkets
Like well-trained soldiers

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1265.
In the dead of night
Alien spacecraft steals pigs
Strange, alien SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1266.
Custom SPAM colors
Any color you may want
As long as it's pink

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1267.
A delicate bite
Leads to ravenous eating
SPAM bulimia

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1268.
SPAM-seeking missile
I press the button marked "Launch"
Can is vaporized

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1269.
Point gun at blue can
Another SPAM bites the dust
I laugh evilly

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1270.
My silver SPAM knife
Cuts cleanly through the pink block
I eat SPAM with style

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1271.
Visible from space
Biggest SPAM can in the world
50-year supply

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1272.
In the Pyramid
Preserved for eternity
It's mummified SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1273.
Anti-gravity
Extraterrestrial SPAM
Lands in my back yard

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1274.
I stared in wonder,
Totally captivated--
The beauty of SPAM.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1275.
Furniture of SPAM
So you don't have to get up
To go for a snack

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1276.
Ground breaks asunder
Satan claws his way from hell
He has come for SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1277.
I lifted the axe
And with a sweeping motion
Executed SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1278.
U.S. Air Force tests
Blasting SPAM at plane windshields
Should have opened can

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1279.
Hot, these summer days
I bathe in cool SPAM jelly
My friends avoid me

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1280.
I open the fridge
In the distance, a dog barks
A midnight SPAM feast

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1281.
SPAM spawned a romance
Stared into her eyes, and shared--
One can, and two spoons

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1282.
Activist cries out
"Give me SPAM or give me death"
The vultures oblige

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1283.
The curtain was raised
The SPAM sat in the spotlight
And the tension grew

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1284.
"What meaning has life?"
The SPAM rests, mute in the chair
Ignoring my angst

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1285.
I finished my SPAM,
Then, stepping from the shadows,
Announced my presence.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1286.
The tourists visit
The leaning tower of SPAM
Now, eat from this side

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1287.
They enjoyed the stew
But when offered SPAM ice cream
My dinner guests left.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1288.
Stopped at the airport
Customs searches my luggage
Lucky I hid SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1289.
The storm clouds rolled in;
The winds roared around my house.
I smiled. I had SPAM.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1290.
SPAMity SPAM SPAM
Softly squishes 'neath my toes
In my mouth you goes

--Anonymous

1291.
I saw the blue can
In the tinned products section
It captured my thoughts

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1292.
Thoughts entered my dreams
The blue can--contents unknown
Cryptic label--SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1293.
Three days passed slowly
Obsession overcame me
I must purchase SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1294.
I lurked in the aisles
No one was looking at me
I reached for a tin

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1295.
Cradling my new prize
I went to pay--disaster!
"Price check on large SPAM."

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1296.
But nobody stared
I noticed them holding tins
Brotherhood of SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1297.
Soon I arrived home,
Dimmed the lights, shut the curtains,
And prepared to feast.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1298.
I removed the key
Peeled back the metal layer
The fragrance hit me

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1299.
I woke on the floor
Six hours of my life were gone
And so was the SPAM...

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

1300.
And sometimes at night
I lay awake, listening,
And I can hear it.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au