SPAM Haiku 16501-16600

Move backwards to Numbers 16401-16500.

16501.
diamond is so rough.
bright, shiny, but really is
one more SPAMSucker.

--Nervous, NewBie@the_boneyard.com

16502.
He said I was a
SPAMhead. NO, I'm a loser!!!!
Mistaken ID?!?!?!?

--Snoozy, bored@the_boneydard.com

16503.
I told my new boss,
"I have no assigned tasks." He
smiled as the gel flowed.

--Snoozy, bored@the_boneydard.com

16504.
"Fear not," said he, "A
new key is twirling right now
on your new SPAM can!!!"

--Snoozy, bored@the_boneydard.com

16505.
Can it be so true??
"For it's given unto you:
A SPAM Can Is Nigh!!!"

--Snoozy, bored@the_boneydard.com

16506.
Wise men crossed desert.
The herald angels sang songs.
Did they then eat SPAM ???

--Snoozy, bored@the_boneydard.com

16507.
Joseph and Mary
were poor. I sure hope they fed
no SPAM to their Child!!!

--Snoozy, bored@the_boneydard.com

16508.
Feed the five thousand.
No kosher SPAM; He opted
for loaves and fishes.

--Snoozy, bored@the_boneydard.com

16509.
As Hormel does to
pigs, Supreme Court has done to
the Constitution.

--Milford Pigboy

16510.
The Ultimate SPAM
Ten cars on foggy freeway
Pigs driving too fast

--Stu Mumford, s2mumford@aol.com

16511.
I Stu take thee SPAM
My lawful wedded lunchmeat
Till death do us part

--stu, S2Mumford@aol.com

16512.
It is a blessing
Sacred perfect pork product
SPAM love is not wrong

--stu, s2mumford@aol.com

16513.
Pork superhighway
your bandwith is infinite
at two cans a week.

--stu, s2mumford@aol.com

16514.
Legs spread wide apart
Screaming, pushing, not enough!
Caesarean SPAM...

--stu, s2mumford@aol.com

16515.
Juicy, pinklike, SPAM!
I HATE IT, I HATE IT, YEAH!
KILL the countered SPAM!!!

--superkahuna@yahoo.com

16516.
Think of ham and pork
Think about it... It's the best
Yeah SPAM can't be beat!

--Tom D. Mintzer, Menace199@hotmail.com

16517.
You use it for grout
SPAM can be used whenever
Even as an art

--Tom D. Mintzer, Menace199@hotmail.com

16518.
Nineteen tins remain
Ninety-nine were on the wall
Posthumous record

--Dendrobia

16519.
caca, dukey, poo.
three things after eating SPAM.
pink butt marmalade.

--Anonymous

16520.
How to interpret
the gift--does she love me or
not? She gave me SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16521.
S, P, A, M. That
which is this can not be seen.
The unknown demon.

--superkahuna@yahoo.com

16522.
Stuff the candy canes
down your sack, Santa. I'll be
having SPAM this year.

--Fozzie

16523.
Some people wrap gifts.
I prefer to smear them with
thin layer of SPAM.

--Fozzie

16524.
The Grinch stole Whoville's
Christmas; sucked up their roast beast;
left behind the SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

16525.
Claire S. has told us
about her SPAM dessert dish.
It was "Yum" to her.

--NO !!!, not_really@oops.com

16526.
Plenty of Action!!!
Love of SPAM will guarantee
many phone calls now!!

--NO !!!, not_really@oops.com

16527.
meaty wet SPAM drips:
not a tasty treat this late.
makes me want to ralph.

--Stringbean aka Boris Lermontov, greenbeangleam@hotmail.com

16528.
fat boy gobbles SPAM:
i look upon him with hate.
i hope he blows chunks.

--Stringbean aka Boris Lermontov, greenbeangleam@hotmail.com

16529.
December Nineteenth:
Nothing done....what a huge waste!!
And we still earned SPAM!!!

--Big_Straw, slurpin@the_boneyard.com

16530.
"Pride" and non-career.
Gravy does make no-pride and
SPAM palatable.

--Big_Straw, slurpin@the_boneyard.com

16531.
"Intellectual"
non-discussion more confused
than blue can contents.

--Big_Straw, slurpin@the_boneyard.com

16532.
RPF filter.
I think it stands for Righteous
Pig Frenzy end-mode???

--Big_Straw, slurpin@the_boneyard.com

16533.
SPAM is forever!!!
"This is my last working day!!"
"So, when was your first??"

--Big_Straw, slurpin@the_boneyard.com

16534.
High-pitched squealing noise.
Just listening to all this,
I have gained five pounds.

--Big_Straw, slurpin@the_boneyard.com

16535.
On pan, Fran sprays Pam.
Hand uncans ham into pan.
Fran's SPAM strays from pan.

--Rich Illing, rilling@gsbalum.uchicago.edu

16536.
Cyborg flick sequel
Starring Schwarzenegger in
SPAMinator 2

--Chuck Beard

16537.
Billy left SPAM out
for Santa; got a lump of
coal in his stocking.

--Milford Pigboy

16538.
overcongealed stuff
fake pork in a nice blue can
I love thee so, SPAM

--Wade, kung_fu_stlye@yahoo.com

16539.
Incense? Frankincense?
Myrrh? Oh no, oh Bethlehem,
In truth it was SPAM.

--LIBERRY CHICK, daichan@islandnet.com

16540.
Glistening globules,
Yet frozen in the snow--ahhhhh
My heart sings out "SPAM"!

--Liberry Chick, daichan@islandnet.com

16541.
Drip, drip, drip NO "STOP!!!!"
The fat drips upon my face
Oh cruel SPAM Master!

--Liberry Chick, daichan@islandnet.com

16542.
For the winter birds
SPAM in the suet feeder
Nuthatch cocks its head

--Stephen Svecz, gumby@onecom.com

16543.
What does SPAM stand for?
Salty, Pink, And Mushy, or
Stuff Posing As Meat.

--Bobby Peacock, janafoy_8@hotmail.com

16544.
Such a shimmering
Pressed pork product never made
Again...Mmm--mmm--mmm

--Princess Vanessa

16545.
Spiced ham and eggs on
a lonely tray. How greasy
and scrambled is life.

--Princess Vanessa

16546.
A phone rings, rings, rings...
It is God calling and He
wants more SPAM. Amen.

--Princess Vanessa

16547.
Intestines yum yum
Gelatinous enjoyment
SPAM is ambrosia

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smtih@hotmail.com

16548.
SPAM is heaven's gift
Like Hebrew's manna from God
Truly my God's food

--Vance Smith, zwiebelturme@hotmail.com

16549.
Sun rises, I wake
A gentle breeze blows through it
SPAM, for breakfast, yum

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16550.
To steal election
is much more serious crime
than grand theft of SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

16551.
Talking, sentient
SPAM cans: nightmare from '50s
meat advertisement.

--Milford Pigboy

16552.
Can I get a sack?
Only in a can, is SPAM.
It's surrealism.

--Shep, shep@one.net

16553.
Declan McManus
You thrill me with poetry
Oh my SPAM shivers

--Margaret

16554.
Declan McManus
Your secret is safe with me
Love that strange pink meat

--Margaret

16555.
Declan McManus
Stone genius of song and style
Mere SPAM inspired you?

--Margaret

16556.
'Twas the night before
Christmas and all through my fridge,
one creature stirred--SPAM.

--jnov

16557.
Why does SPAM come out
The same as when ingested--
Lumpy pink clumpy.

--Anonymous

16558.
What has baby done?
He has smeared shit on his face.
Oops, no. Only SPAM.

--Anonymous

16559.
ID gone, show host
becomes pink meat. "Flow My SPAM,
the Policeman Said."

--Jay Woodward, woodward@andrew.cmu.edu

16560.
I am the modern
Pig. Domo Arigato,
Mr. SPAMboto.

--Anonymous

16561.
I strove to eat SPAM
but my heart wasn't in it.
Someone else's was.

--Jay Woodward, woodward@andrew.cmu.edu

16562.
Syllables Permit
Antidisespamishment
Mnemonicism

--Jay Woodward, woodward@andrew.cmu.edu

16563.
Such Plain Awful Meat
Should Perhaps Avoid Making
Strong Pig Aro-Ma

--Jay Woodward, woodward@andrew.cmu.edu

16564.
Senryu Poetry
Acrostically Makes Semi-
Perfect Acronyms

--Jay Woodward, woodward@andrew.cmu.edu

16565.
Contents of the can
Sit before me on my plate.
SPAM is my dinner.

--Ken Boyer, kwboyer@yahoo.com

16566.
No money for meat
Hunger is abated soon
The answer is SPAM

--Ken Boyer, kwboyer@yahoo.com

16567.
A resolution
to improve my "quality
of life": no more SPAM!

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16568.
SPAM classic, lite, smoke
Flavored, and now turkey--could
Kosher SPAM be next?

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16569.
The proper response
to an indulgence of SPAM
is an emetic.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16570.
devoid of pig meat
the empty can lazily
drools into my sink

--james crawford, sudsboy@hotmail.com

16571.
Just ate a SPAM-wich
All the gristle in my teeth
Makes for good "seconds"

--The JuJu-Bees

16572.
Jesus and Buddha
Even Mohammed knew it
SPAM is the savior

--The JuJu-Bees

16573.
Why won't this digest?!
Doc said wait fifteen minutes
Before I can swim

--The JuJu-Bees

16574.
I have discerned nine
allusions to SPAM in Jane
Austen's book Emma.

--Fozzie

16575.
If salt, sodium
nitrite, sugar are "spices,"
Bush was "elected."

--Milford Pigboy

16576.
"What's this made with?" she
asked. "SPAM" he said. "Aargh!" she screamed.
"My lips touched pig lips!"

--Milford Pigboy

16577.
SPAM be very good
SPAM be gooey gooey good
Breakfast, lunch, dinner

--Jeff

16578.
SPAMeliciousness
SPAMalammadingdongSPAM
Ooga booga SPAM

--Jeff

16579.
SPAM is good for you
The magical enhancer
Pick some up today

--Jeff

16580.
Minnesota, love
And I thought SPAM was English
You nourish me well

--esotericum, esotericum@aol.com

16581.
SPAM is my lover
Once embraced, ne'er forgotten
It's mine forever

--Vance Smith, zwiebelturme@hotmail.com

16582.
Dear God in heavan
What's this Godsent biproduct
SPAM, the Messiah

--Patrick Lewis, swakmann@aol.com

16583.
SPAM's a transformer
From food to indigestion
Innards pay dearly

--Vance Smith, zwiebelturme@hotmail.com

16584.
A phenomenon!
SPAM looks the same coming out
As on the way in

--The Ju-Ju Bees

16585.
Is it meat or feet?
No one wants to know for sure
Just slice it! Let's eat!

--The Ju-Ju Bees

16586.
Reflections of pink
My eyes blinded by the glare
Gagging in the sink

--The Ju-Ju Bees

16587.
My God, what is it?!
Eyes flash wide and nostrils flare
Skin, ears, nose, and hair!

--The Ju-Ju Bees

16588.
Tin coffin slides free
A jelly-smeared corpse awaits
For my autopsy

--The Ju-Ju Bees

16589.
If I ruled the world
Our names would be "SPAM" because
We are what we eat

--The Ju-Ju Bees

16590.
No! I lost the key!
Whatever shall I do now?
Starve to death, I guess

--The Ju-Ju Bees

16591.
Is it something ground?
Or is it something long lost?
Jimmy Hoffa found!

--The Ju-Ju Bees

16592.
I like to eat SPAM
It's more like an addiction
That's why I am fat

--Jeremy, pisces31880@yahoo.com

16593.
I make love to SPAM
SPAM feels warm around my soul
The gel makes good lube

--Anonymous

16594.
Kevorkian says,
"SPAM is all that is needed."
Death in a blue can.

--Ginkgo

16595.
New Millennium.
Will our SPAMKu reach new heights??
Will SPAM taste better??

--Got_A_New_Job, disgruntled@the_boneyard.com

16596.
We got a new Prez.
The other candidate got
SPAM in his stocking.

--Got_A_New_Job, disgruntled@the_boneyard.com

16597.
Christmas comes but once
a year. SPAMKu pleasures in
perpetuity.

--Got_A_New_Job, disgruntled@the_boneyard.com

16598.
SPAM in a blue can.
Most here wear blue shirts each day.
Contents are the same.

--Got_A_New_Job, disgruntled@the_boneyard.com

16599.
"Look on my SPAM, ye
mighty, and despair!" Thus said
Ozymandias.

--Fozzie

16600.
wherz the SPAM you fool!
I submitted a haiku
therz nothing to view

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com