SPAM Haiku 16601-16700

Move backwards to Numbers 16501-16600.

16601.
The man is a SPAM
You find in a trash can band
Burnt out on cocktails

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16602.
Democracy blue
With SPAM it never came true
Dub yah eats that stuff

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16603.
I love you my dear
You left me a plate of SPAM
Alive though left out

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16604.
say, verily spam
is not a way you can pay
oh let it be known

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16605.
Did I miss something?
SPAM cannot be the answer
It just cannot be

--Blackninja, N/A

16606.
House of Quality.
Our best "quality" even
Hormel would reject.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16607.
The customer is
ignoring us: he likes SPAM.
No GravyRipples.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16608.
SPAMKu is Beauty:
Simple, Concise, Wonderful,
Focused, To The Point.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16609.
Amorphous Image:
"Verify The Quality."
Salty Taste...Big Words.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16610.
The Quality chick:
a blithering clueless SPAM-
Head she proves to be.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16611.
Even glistening
gel could not unconstipate
her stupidity.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16612.
SPAM is French cuisine
compared to Quality folks
around this cesspool.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16613.
K-Y-M-S-S.
Keep Your Mouth Shut, Stupid. No
words out, no SPAM in.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16614.
Intelligence is
found in this room, but is well-
hidden by SPAMSloth.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16615.
SPAM in the blue can.
Is anything else so bad??
Ab-sew-loot-lee YES!!!

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16616.
We will serve up no
Common Sense before its time.
Never in SPAMLand.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16617.
wretched, wretched SPAM
so little value to us
none the less, haiku

--Anonymous

16618.
Millennium Meat--
a taste that will stay with you
a thousand years--SPAM!

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16619.
Is that a tumor?!
Oh thank God, Lynda's okay
Stuffed her bra with SPAM

--John and Chris, cdeeneen@nyc.rr.com

16620.
Hurling a pink pie
Grim, ugly slapstick routine
Funny but greasy

--John and Chris, cdeneen@nyc.rr.com

16621.
Post-coital moment
Turn head, pink loaf on table
Oh honey, you knew...

--John and Chris, cdeneen@nyc.rr.com

16622.
SPAM is elegance,
Quite delectable with wine,
Like frilled pink salmon.

--Tiffi

16623.
Perky pink color
comes from sodium nitrite;
delight for the eye.

--Milford Pigboy

16624.
Take knife to SPAM loaf,
it cuts like a dream; needs no
refrigeration.

--Milford Pigboy

16625.
Nothing quite says "Good
morning" better than smell of
SPAM frying in pan.

--Milford Pigboy

16626.
SPAM and potatoes:
menu for timid palate
afraid of spices.

--Milford Pigboy

16627.
Did George Hormel dine
on SPAM? I presume he knew
what went into it.

--Milford Pigboy

16628.
The jelly or meat
Which is better in my mouth?
I say it's the meat

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16629.
How do they do it?
Twenty pigs in a tin can
Hormel, the wizard

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16630.
My stomach's query
Who made my meatiest foe?
Hormel, you bastard

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16631.
How could I say it?
My stomach says SPAM's all good
Meant no disrespect

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16632.
I look on the shelf
My old friend sits all alone
SPAMBURGERs it is

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16633.
SPAM is a great meat
Giddy and happy am I
Oh it's good to eat

--Sara Smith, dekrups@aol.com

16634.
Oh, sublime is SPAM
It's Godlike powers I seek
Immortality

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16635.
Love me or leave me
Treet does not compare to it
SPAM is always there

--Sara Smith, dekrups@aol.com

16636.
On a snowy night
It falls cold into the snow
I have lost my SPAM

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16637.
A SPAM ranch; you say?
All those tiny, little legs!
What are THEY used for?

--daviD, panamacity76013@yahoo.com

16638.
Now my mind wanders
Beside me a can, a fork
SPAM will eat your brain

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16639.
Snow in the window
Warme'd by the oven's fire
I bake SPAM brownies

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16640.
Sweet summer breezes
I make company with SPAM
My dog runs away

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16641.
Can't see my shadow
Under a blanket of fog
Where is my darn SPAM

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16642.
The smell of cooking
Fire burning with sweet delight
Warm SPAM on a stick

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16643.
It sits not speaking
but it is never quiet
SPAM whispers darkly

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16644.
I plot its dark doom
Under silent suspicions
SPAM knows that I come

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16645.
How then to kill it
Pink and cold and so slimy
The cold of my fear

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16646.
My fear knows its place
The kitchen above the sink
A can sits untouched

--Anonymous

16647.
Jiggling with purpose
SPAM watches from the kitchen
Uh-oh I'm hungry

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16648.
My tummy rumbles
I am sick of the damn sound
I send it cold SPAM

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16649.
Thrust into despair
I checked the house for some food
A can sits alone

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16650.
A full moon is out
Werewolves thicken the green hills
Hunting for pink SPAM

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16651.
With sullen remorse
I open the stinking can
SPAM ends my hunger

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16652.
The web keeps me up
The alcohol lets me sleep
SPAM will keep me fed

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16653.
Full of sweet delight
I bring in the groceries
Ten cans of new SPAM

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16654.
Working all day long
Bones ache with a throbbing pain
SPAM makes it better

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16655.
Late one dreamy night
I'm awakened by loud sounds
The ghosts of past SPAM

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16656.
metal enveloped
whole plump sliced pinkness sublime
deliver to me

--SPAMie Mamie, dulceastra@aol.com

16657.
To labor for SPAM
Let us riot for this right
For eight hours we eat

--Alissa, (Tribute to the eight hour day)

16658.
Dubya ascendant,
Who will he enthrone as his
SPAM Secretary?

--edmacc@go.com

16659.
Wonderful SPAM cube
Entering her vagina
Her boyfriend weeps now

--Bleu Can Dude, Bleucollar@webtv.net

16660.
a fatal flaw seen...
there's never enough SPAM here
fear and panic now!

--Bleu can dude, Bleucollar@webtv.net

16661.
The SPAM on the plate
The blinking spam on my screen
Both pink and from pigs

--Ed, ewhite37@hotmail.com

16662.
Be not fooled into
underestimating SPAM.
Its strength will prevail!

--Fozzie

16663.
I have no brain, no
thought, no conscience, no soul. I
am naught. I am SPAM.

--Fozzie

16664.
I may fall thirty
stories onto a cab, yet
survive. I am SPAM.

--Fozzie

16665.
I am craved, yet carved;
tasted, then tossed. You despise
me. I am your SPAM.

--Fozzie

16666.
A million years pass;
mankind has perished. Yet I
persist. I am SPAM

--Fozzie

16667.
Suzy cries and pulls
me from the trash. I am named
Flower. I am SPAM.

--Fozzie

16668.
Anybody out
there? Am I alone? Do I
exist? I AM SPAM!!!!

--Fozzie

16669.
Too tired, too lonely.
To be, or not to be? To
sleep, to dream, sweet SPAM . . .

--Fozzie

16670.
Wanted: Man to share
home; must like children. Husband
left me--I cooked SPAM.

--Rachel R. K., rachel@improvsoup.com

16671.
Would that SPAM could mend
my broken heart. Only in
a pig's eye. Too bad.

--Toni Yannone, sweettonibear@aol.com

16672.
It was a quick death.
SPAM was created for us.
The pig felt nothing.

--Toni Yannone, sweettonibear@aol.com

16673.
New year, new diet.
Cake, pie, bread, whipped cream are banned.
All I eat is SPAM.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16674.
SPAM diet works great.
Ninety days with nothing else.
Now on life support.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16675.
Doc says, "Do Adkins!"
Prescribes the little blue can.
Then calls mortician.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16676.
Ali learned the real
truth of T-Rex when the SPAM
was knocked out of him!!!

--monster_gun, disgruntled@the_boneyard.com

16677.
SPAM-ku makes me smile.
It keeps my brain more active
than GravyPond "life."

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16678.
No definitive
chain of command ensures max
SPAM-fusion for all.

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16679.
SPAM is organized
compared to the P-P-R
process. Disgusting!!

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16680.
SPAM Theology:
Put your trust in ground-up pigs
and not live Boneheads.

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16681.
Salt preservation
for pig "meat." Here is BoneHead
ossification.

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16682.
There is more fat in
1 cc of my brain than
ten blue cans of SPAM.

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16683.
Brain overloaded
by flapping gums and nonsense.
I'd rather eat SPAM.

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16684.
Bob Marley ate SPAM?!
"I hope you like SPAMming, too"
was NOT his lyric!

--Milford Pigboy

16685.
Oh S-P-A-M
No matter how you spell it
Some parts are not meat

--Anonymous

16686.
a hungered desire
empty shelves in the pantry
the solution--SPAM

--Dennis Stapleton, raven712@davesworld.net

16687.
rise up from the can
quicken the keepers of keys
with thy pink splatter

--Sally Sage, sallysage@prodigy.net

16688.
Slick odious loaf
Obscenity in a can
Satan's handiwork

--Sally Sage, sallysage@prodigy.net

16689.
Evaporation
works its magic on hog waste:
Preserve it in brine!

--Milford Pigboy

16690.
Pickled pig doo-doo
smell as fresh three months later
as when excreted.

--Milford Pigboy

16691.
THOU HAVEST SUPPER
WITH PINK PORK AND CHOPPED LIVER
SPAM IS THE BETTER!

--superkahuna@yahoo.com

16692.
What is this poem?
I contemplate my future
Oh, it's about SPAM

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16693.
Woe is me, it's SPAM
My mother never forgot
Love her forever

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16694.
You're so far away
I waste away at my job
SPAM is on my shelf

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16695.
How could you do this?
You mock me from in your can
Broke the Goddamn Key

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16696.
You bring me such pain
I'd kill you if you weren't meat
SPAM, how I hate you

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16697.
SPAM, I'm so sorry
Please return yourself to me
It was just a joke

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16698.
SPAM, I will take thee
Unholy splatrimony
...Mostly in sickness

--Sally Sage, sallysage @prodigy.net

16699.
Bear down on the can
Do not panic...boil water
When it's born, slap it

--Sally Sage, sallysage@prodigy.net

16700.
What then is this SPAM?
Philosophical Puzzle
Best left unexplored

--Dianne Lehmann, dmlehmann@ucdavis.edu