1.
New politician:
Scared world and worried rivals...
Ilie Nastase
2.
A middle finger
shocks subjects into action.
Rule by Nastase.
3.
Mayor Nastase,
meet P.M. Netanyahu.
"Ben! Pull my finger!"
4.
Timothy Leary.
Dead. What's next for Moody Blues?
Patrick Buchanan!
5.
Blasting into space
while followers rot in dirt:
Ashes of Leary
6.
I met a mad cow
Once. "What's the beef?" I asked. She
Shrugged her brisket, "Moooooo!"
7.
"I'm only human,"
Said the Prince. "So am I," said
Di. Now, there's the rub!
8.
Child's "sense of wonder"
Is Nature's gift to old folks.
Multiverse perceived.
9.
"Don't look now," Clinton
Says. "Who's looking?" says Yeltsin.
"I am," says Xiaoping.
10.
"Find any grails, Art?"
"No, but Merl's got some great gilt
Cardboard replicas."
11.
I shot an arrow
In the air, parting Clinton's
Pricey hair. TREASON!
12.
Ray Coombs, Mike Boorda:
Prooving that too many oo's
Can be a bad thing
13.
Abacha offers
Reward for Kudi's killer.
He learned from O.J.
14.
Frozen bodies dug
Up for deadly flu study.
Real-life Outbreak II?
15.
Yeltsin's regime called
"Bloodiest" by Yavlinsky.
Stalin turns in grave.
16.
Kill yourself without
Harming others! The "nice" choice:
Smokeless cigarettes.
17.
Khmer Rouge leader dead.
Cambodian soup du jour:
Gristly Pot-au-feu.
18.
Sweatshop child with shoe
Misses a stitch on the "swoop."
Boss yells, "JUST DO IT!"
19.
Psyche bereft. God
Deserted. Surface corrupt.
Alas, dear Gaia!
20.
He holds two knives. Why?
One for front and one for back.
With front one, a smile!
21.
Who is the fat man?
Winner. Who is the thin man?
Loser. Me? Medium.
22.
Held still, a shark dies:
That is, unless the water
Moves. Much less tiring.
23.
Some politicians
Sound like rampant frogs. Maybe
Metamorphosis.
24.
Who's turn for Rat King?
All rats rushed the throne. Somehow
Micky Mouse jumped up!
25.
Free condoms for all.
"Take a small one, sir. Sign here.
What's this? Peter Pan!"
26.
"I'd no idea!"
Kathie Lee whines through her tears
While cashing the check
27.
"YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!"
That's what all of the books say.
Then I guess I'm NUTS...
28.
"What's Whitewater, Mom?"
"Whitehouse dirt, Ozark grit, and
Lawyer spit. Poison!"
29.
Looked inside her eyes.
Windows to a whole new world.
Hitched ride on thought-ship.
30.
I.R.A. bomb blasts.
Stray innocents obstruct path
Of free-flying glass.
31.
"Carry the Colors,
Private: take the Glory Road."
"Can't. Always get lost."
32.
First the Governor
And the business partners fell
"Guilty," said jury
33.
Whitewater report
Says First Lady Hilary
Also misbehaved
34.
Confidential files
From FBI to White House
What is going on?
35.
Now the senior aide,
Bruce Lindsey, unindicted
Co-conspirator
36.
Legal woes close in
On embattled President
Does Bill Clinton sweat?
37.
All the President's
men are being indicted!
Who will he turn to?
38.
Memorial Day.
A time for deep reflection.
I hope I get laid.
39.
Yum, Jalepenos.
Sometimes they give me the squirts.
But I still love 'em.
40.
Morning wood is fun.
I draw a face on my thang.
He pees out his nose.
41.
Whip it, whip it good.
Is it supposed to spurt blood?
Where's my other nut?
42.
Is French food so great?
They eat snails and ass of horse.
No wonder they stink.
43.
Summer is shining
Earth green dancing in the sky
The gold will fall soon
44.
I scolded the tree
Working the leaves for its bread
And then shedding them
45.
No tanks for Hong Kong
Students stand in front of banks
"Party" over soon!
46.
Dole says tobacco
could be addictive...or not.
Give him a cigar!
Last modified: Thu Mar 20 11:27:01 GMT-0400 1997