1.
Buchanan campaign
Rocked by another scandal.
Advisor ate SPAM.
2.
Coast Guard 'copters slash
a full Caribbean moon--
Fidel rubs his beard.
3.
Farrakhan loves gas
From Nigeria. Fill him up
And give him a smoke.
4.
S.C. storm trooper
Earns Oscar in action role.
Camera-shy? Not!
5.
When pulled over in
South Carolina, pack more
Than just camera.
6.
so this is it, then,
that those who can, make do, while
those who don't won't do.
7.
Canine companion
calls 9-1-1, summons help.
Would a cat do that?
8.
Hey, O.J.! How goes
your search for ex-wife's killer?
1-800-Juice.
9.
Rauf, stand Flag--NO!
They forced him to play roundball?
Oppressed by paycheck.
10.
Pat Buchanan says,
"Build 40-foot wall of SPAM
to keep out wetbacks!"
11.
"Evolution wrong,"
exclaims Pat. "Can't explain SPAM!"
But who would want to?
12.
"Flat tax makes you rich,
all the SPAM you can eat! YUM!"
Forbes drops out of race.
13.
Military men
and criminals all ate SPAM.
Cause and effect? Hmmm.
14.
Bob Dole cracks a smile.
Did Elizabeth fry him
some SPAM this morning?
15.
Republican SPAM:
It's the same old pork in a
fancier new can.
16.
"Read my lips," said George,
"No new SPAM taxes!" Next prez:
Clinton. No surprise.
17.
IRA, Hamas
Stupid little boys and their
very deadly toys
18.
"Insane!" claims Salvi.
How else could pro-life person
Shoot to kill others?
19.
instead of aid bucks
let's send our current surplus
our celebrities
20.
Night of ecstasy!
Cries, gasps, and sighs! My lover?
No--Hyakutake!
21.
My heart is broken.
All day, awaiting comet.
Tonight, goddamn rain!