1.
Bad news boosts market;
unemployment up, hurray!
salaries dip, cheers!
2.
Pearls of morning dew,
heavy on each blade of grass.
Shoes soaked, spirits high.
3.
Weak early sunshine
hints at scorcher to follow.
Tomatoes bliss out.
4.
Crazy tomato
out for early evening roll,
smiles, waves at neighbors.
5.
Wicked tomato
luring worms to wretched lives,
gross obesity.
6.
Thick-skinned tomato
withstands life's most crushing blows,
tastes like stale cardboard.
7.
Thin-sliced tomato
flavors twenty sandwiches,
spreading taste-bud joy.
8.
Ugly tomato
boasts of its taste, utters claim,
"Beauty's but skin deep."
9.
Football season's here,
injuries, crimes reported;
knees, morals kaput!
10.
Clams can cure cancer.
Dead man pays library fine.
Tabloids blabber on.
11.
Independence? Why
did we let it reach a vote?
East Timor stays here.
12.
Convert Jews to Christ.
Southern Baptist Convention:
Screws slaves, now screws Jews.
13.
Fat tomato rolls
uphill, astonishing all,
claims anyone can.
14.
Cancer can cure clams,
say bewildered scientists.
No clam warts, ever.
15.
That great sucking sound.
Bush hears Buchanan defect.
Reform Party sucks.
16.
Green tomato sings
of bug-free world, rich loam, sun.
Red tomato shrugs.
17.
If you will not tithe
Use the money for some good.
Buy me a good car.
18.
Tomato's best friend,
a striped cat named Loblolly,
tells wicked blonde jokes.
19.
North Carolina
Prays, "Please! Rain, Rain, go away!
You have drowned our dreams."
20.
ECU is mad,
Hurricane has destroyed lives.
Look out Miami.