SPAM Haiku 19001-19100

Move backwards to Numbers 18901-19000.


19001.
gaze of a mantis
cold radioactive SPAM
white bones on granite
--E.W.Herman

19002.
You don't look so good.
I just think I'm gonna barf!
I had SPAM for lunch!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19003.
Had SPAM for dinner.
No time for regret now. I
projectile vomit.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19004.
Oh Mother please help!
I need a barf bag but quick!
SPAM makes me so sick!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19005.
SPAM is used for ill
in a vomitorium.
Nothing works better!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19006.
Oh God!--the pink chunks!
SPAM sick, molten and rising.
I lean and sick up.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19007.
I thought I'd escaped,
But this awful SPAMku keeps
Sucking me back in!

--Col. Kurtz, kmoore@turningpnt.org

19008.
Barf in the toilet
to empty out my stomach.
SPAM must leave somehow.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19009.
SPAM-up on the floor.
Couldn't find the bathroom door.
Sure, I'll have some more.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19010.
Oh God the horror!
SPAM hard and pink of color.
Grease puke like butter.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19011.
Literary SPAM--
Ravens crying nevermore.
I turn and throw up.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19012.
Eating SPAM's not hard.
Keeping it down is the trick.
Stomach heaves, Oh Shit!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19013.
One ingesting SPAM.
SPAM flows from me like water.
A warm pink river.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19014.
You thought you could win.
You magnificent bastard,
SPAM I read your book!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19015.
It's not the pink part
of SPAM that kills, it's the white.
Man's keepin us down!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19016.
Oh, that Sam-I-am,
how much further he could go
with green eggs and SPAM.

--SPAMthropologist

19017.
Each meat cube bathed in
SPAMicidal lubricant;
prevents pig-people.

--SPAMthropologist

19018.
Ate SPAM for dinner.
Puked on Japan's President.
Very big mistake.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19019.
Did you eat my SPAM!?
Hey, the can was in there man.
It's free game now Dan.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19020.
Electric SPAM can.
Harness sick SPAM energy . . .
Power the whole world.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19021.
The Devil has called.
Inventors of SPAM unite!
The Dark Lord wants you.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19022.
SPAM's not from Heaven,
it issues nothing so vile.
No, it is from Hell.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19023.
Revolting wretched
repulsive evil salt-food!
I will NOT eat you!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19024.
Methane gas coming
out of my ass smells kind of
like new cans of SPAM.

--Shadowpig14

19025.
Oh, so wild and free
Traveling across the land
With beauty and grace

--Jessica Appel, siamese_kitten@hotmail.com

19026.
The sea gave us SPAM?
The boat takes me far away
and I give it back.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19027.
See my love retching.
Yes, she's a beauty indeed.
Heaves as SPAM shakes her.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19028.
oh incandescent
can glowering on the shelf:--
SPAMbrosia; SPAM!

--kenne, me---@onebox.com

19029.
Warhol worshipped you
Fake American icon
Better left in tin

--Ben Davis

19030.
This molten ham Hell.
The pitch and sway of small boats.
SPAM ever rising.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19031.
His breath fogs from cold.
Small boy wrapped in a red shawl.
I see SPAM-people.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19032.
SPAM. Ham. Pork on high!
I feign complete disint'rest.
My life is a lie!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19033.
SPAM comes in a can.
But you could just as simply
scraped it from your shoe.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19034.
Hey, should I eat this?
I said it's not for eating.
It's SPAM for christsakes!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19035.
My Jewish student
Jake Schiffmiller would eat SPAM
but God would kill him.

--Carmack's 6th period, necrothorn1@hotmail.com

19036.
Corpulent children,
Hormel corporate Easter,
Finding hidden SPAM.

--Robert Shelton, possumrex@yahoo.com

19037.
A sharp bamboo whack,
Zen master's admonishment:
"Empty SPAM from mind!"

--Robert Shelton, possumrex@yahoo.com

19038.
Instructions: Take SPAM
Grill ten hours until well cooked
Throw off high building

--Angus Murray

19039.
SPAM insecticide:
Liquidize SPAM, spray on bugs
Kills them instantly

--Angus murray

19040.
Get eternal youth
From just thirteen cans of SPAM?
I'd much rather die

--Angus murray

19041.
I could have told yoooooou......
SPAM was never meant for one
as ugly as you.

--Don Maclean

19042.
I could have told yoooooou......
SPAM was never meant for one
(Really meant for two)

--Don Maclean

19043.
I could have told yoooooou......
This world was never meant for
eating SPAM; it's truuuuuue.

--Don Maclean

19044.
I could have told yoooooou......
This world was never meant for
Vincent, SPAM, or You.

--Don Maclean

19045.
Worried about SPAM?
Lie awake at night thinking?
Get a life Sunshine!

--Angus murray

19046.
In lab'ratories
SPAM induces vomiting
in most animals.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19047.
New ploy for Not-Meat
trying to market vegans:
SPAMikopita!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19048.
Pink SPAM, ham delight!
Gorge on you in the dark night.
Don't turn on the light!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19049.
Great SPAM casserole!
I pray at your sweet altar.
Take me to Heaven!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19050.
Mom thinks SPAM's so great,
offered stupid dog a bite,
poor thing puked all night!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19051.
My friend Rob brings SPAM.
What kind of meat comes in cans?
Don't come back here man!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19052.
Do not feed your cat
And eat SPAM at the same time--
You might mix them up.

--Helene, armagedon57@yahoo.com

19053.
How the New Agers
Do recall with wistfulness
Fall of SPAMlantis

--..................SwampMaws

19054.
Seen it in the news:
Horror crematorium
They don't dare burn SPAM

--............................................................SwampMaws

19055.
Thumps against my chest
Pink bloody head emerges:
Screaming SPAM with teeth

--..............................................................SwampMaws

19056.
Strange pink meat melange.
Go just try not to throw up.
SPAM and Satan meld.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19057.
SPAM comes from a can.
It was put there by a man
in a factory.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19058.
Ethel Merman's sick--
Everything's coming up SPAM!
She ate it for lunch.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19059.
My friend Rob brings SPAM.
What kind of shit is this man!?
Meat from a blue can!?

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19060.
Large-breasted women
Rub SPAM all over my body.
SPAM utopia.

--Shadowpig14

19061.
Cockroaches could sur-
vive a nuclear holocaust,
but not without SPAM!

--Shadowpig14

19062.
"Let's make love tonight."
"Wait dear, we forgot something."
"SPAM lubrication!"

--Shadowpig14

19063.
Let's share with the world
Our discovery. Even
Roaches hate SPAM. Wow!

--Shadowpig14

19064.
I've never tried SPAM
I probably never will
SPAM scares me a lot

--Frandito-bandito-gordito-borito Gonzalaz

19065.
The SPAM goes in. The
SPAM goes out. Into my mouth
and then right back out! Blech!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19066.
Tommy bites the dust.
After the fatal poison.
The SPAM's strong today.

--Shadowpig14

19067.
bambi on the run
a loan shark bustin' a knee
cold beer and some SPAM

--e.w,herman (a.k.a.- capt.carve)

19068.
cold science project
just another wake and bake
bong coughs and green SPAM

--E.W.Herman (:~:)

19069.
My master asks me
"Do you know a SPAM koan?"
I reply "It's me"

--James Gillespie

19070.
Carboniferous
oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink
Agglutinated

--Hog Possum

19071.
Do pigs dream of death?
Do they see a fate of can?
I see them and die.

--James Gillespie

19072.
SPAM and smoke drifting
red canyons and deep shadows
rain dogs' on the wind

--E.W..Herman( a.k.a. air pee wee )

19073.
Pleading with Andy,
"Give me back my one bullet."
"No, Barney, use SPAM."

--......you

19074.
Parts gelatinous
anonymous in the tin.
Floss cannot help me.

--Stewart G. J. Clayton

19075.
Gaping maw admits
small mutilated meatlets.
Rejection ensues.

--Stewart G. J. Clayton

19076.
The menacing can
quiet on the grocer's shelf
a Claymore of queeze.

--Stewart G. J. Clayton

19077.
SPAM stunning blue can
charm congeniality
miss universe crowned

--Gil Atinous

19078.
Such jubilation
Miss Universe stupendous
Caviar and SPAM

--Serving Size: 2 oz.

19079.
Pink a-glistening;
Pin a-listening sow's ear?
Or silken tofu?

--Philip Hardebeck, philip_hardebeck@yahoo.com

19080.
Mommy I'm afraid.
There's SPAM in the hall closet.
Make it go away.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19081.
Here I lay with SPAM,
Tightly grasping the blue can.
I don't need no man!

--Bernadette & Agusta

19082.
SPAM is a fiction.
Ravings of a fevered mind.
It just can't be real.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19083.
I told you not to.
The SPAM is barely eaten.
Sorry for your shoe.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19084.
Jeff's a professor,
studies the meaning of SPAM-
forming of a can.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19085.
I open the tin
Dinner for two? Not likely
Pink morsels of slime

--Tobias Davis, tspkd@hotmail.com

19086.
To poets whose muse
is how SPAMku wastes your time:
at least don't waste mine.

--Tom Lilly

19087.
To poets whose muse
is SPAM's kinship with vomit:
fly my sight, foul swine.

--Tom Lilly

19088.
To poets whose muse
is "ooh, it's so gross," or such:
what a wasted line.

--Tom Lilly

19089.
To poets whose muse
is that gaunt bitch bin Laden:
join him in the mine.

--Tom Lilly

19090.
To poets whose muse
is sex with the nasty meat:
whores on 10th and Vine.

--Tom Lilly

19091.
To poets whose muse
is the metaphoric can:
you are fetid brine.

--Tom Lilly

19092.
To poets whose muse is
"my cat" this or "my dog" that:
cud your feed, bovine.

--Tom Lilly

19093.
To all, whose SPAMku
taste as all bad SPAMku taste:
leave it in the can.

--Tom Lilly

19094.
Figure skater lands
triple lutz; adoring crowd
throws SPAM cans to ice.

--Milford Pigboy

19095.
Godzilla ate SPAM
And just look where it got him!
Hated everywhere!

--Angus murray

19096.
Russian bread shortage!
US kindly offers SPAM
Russkis launch missiles

--Angus Murray

19097.
When I'm offered SPAM
My stomach knots up with fear
Wonderful! I lie

--Angus Murray

19098.
Don't write SPAM-ku verse
Work instead and earn money
You'll be better off!

--Angus Murray

19099.
Message from Putin
Eat more SPAM fellow Russians!
Population dives

--Angus Murray

19100.
Ew, SPAM, it's nasty.
It wiggles like a fat man.
On a kid's see-saw.

--J-Dog


Move forwards to Numbers 19101-19200.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.