Soft
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Hard
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Principled
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Participants are friends.
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Participants are adversaries.
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Participants are problem-solvers.
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The goal is agreement.
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The goal is victory.
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The goal is a wise outcome reached efficiently and amicably.
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Make concessions to cultivate the relationship.
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Demand concessions as a condition of the relationship.
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Separate the people from the problem.
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Be soft on the people and the problem.
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Be hard on the problem and the people.
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Be soft on the people, hard on the problem.
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Trust others.
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Distrust others.
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Proceed independent of trust.
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Change your position easily.
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Dig into your position.
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Focus on interests, not positions
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Make offers.
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Make threats.
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Explore interests.
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Disclose your bottom line.
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Mislead as to your bottom line.
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Avoid having a bottom line.
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Accept one-sided losses to reach agreement.
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Demand one-sided gains as the price of agreement.
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Invent options for mutual gain.
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Search for the single answer: the one they will accept.
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Search for the single answer: the one you will accept.
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Develop multiple options to choose from; decide later.
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Insist on agreement.
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Insist on your position.
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Insist on using objective criteria.
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Try to avoid a contest of will.
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Try to win a contest of will.
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Try to reach a result based on standards independent of will.
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Yield to pressure.
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Apply pressure.
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Reason and be open to reason; yield to principle, no to pressure.
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Table from: Getting to Yes, Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Second edition. Fisher, Roger Ury, Williand Patton, Bruce of the Harvard Negotiation Project. (New York: Penguin Books, 1991) 13.
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