Kingdom by the Sea

A (Fake) Photographic* Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, in the fair kingdom of Chinaland, there was a beautiful castle by the sea nestled in the side of a lovely green mountain.

(The castle is actually a seashell museum)

In the beautiful castle nestled in the side of the lovely, green mountain lived the royal family, which had three children. Michael, the oldest, is a master of the elusive art of electronics.

(kind of true... he just got his Masters in EE.
Note the bungee jumping platform in background)

Ben, the second oldest, is generally suspected by the public to be an illegitimate child of the queen as he looks nothing like the other royal children.


However, Ben seems, or perhaps pretends to be, oblivious to his physical differences and is generally a happy, untroubled guy. Because of the heavy censorship in Chinaland, any talks of this controversy in strictly forbidden and is punishable by lifelong imprisonment in the ferris wheel of death.

(actually just an innocent ferris wheel in the amusement park next to the beach)

The youngest child is Princess XX. The king and queen of Chinaland had hoped for a third boy as boys are much more valued in Chinaland than girls. Upon giving birth to a girl, the king and queen were so disgusted and disappointed that they didn't bother giving the unfortunate child a name and angrily slashed not one but two violent X's on the birth certificate form. Despite her unsatisfactory beginning, XX grew up to be reasonably well-adjusted and gets along swimmingly with her two siblings.


Michael, Ben, and XX like to frolic on the beach in their spare time. Whenever they go out, Ben is invariably surrounded by flocks of curious children, no doubt because of his curious appearance. Like in the story of the emperor's new clothes, only the children dare to approach Ben and ask him questions. Fortunately, Ben is a good sport about it.

(there's me sleeping in the background. hehe)

XX, on the other hand, often gets accosted by creepy locals whenever she steps outside. One time at a dance hall, she encountered a man who tried to bite the buttons off her shirt. Whenever she goes to the beach, she tends to attract questionable photographers who often try to hide under their umbrellas.

(Yeah, this guy actually took pictures of me. I threw a pebble at him when he was turned around, and he promptly ran away with his tail between his legs)

This is what one of those furtive photos probably looked like:

(I was reading Lolita)

While at the beach one unfortunate afternoon, they were all attacked by Vinkigs coming from the ocean in colorful boats.

(A "Vinkig" boat ride. I think they meant "Viking")

After a short and not particularly valiant fight, everyone died...

Or did they? Just when the evil Vinkigs were about to chop the heads off our darling royal children, a flying mechanism came and hoisted our heroes away from harm. Oh, the wonders of the Chinaland police. They see all and know all and was able to see that the royal children were in danger.


The flying mechanism took everyone back to the castle, where they lived happily ever after.

FIN

*All photos courtesy of Michael Yeung