Most likely to have killed his on-screen father (who was sitting on the toilet at the time) |
Largest vocal range (female) |
Best windsurfer reporting for duty |
Most likely to fund a tower for Tim Berners-Lee, Dina Katabi, and Erik Demaine |
Most likely to slide his crotch into a camera in front of 200 million people |
Most appropriate surname |
Most likely to buy weed from Snoop Dogg |
Most likely to chair spin |
Most likely to need to be rescued |
Most likely to drive a bus that couldn’t slow down |
Most likely to be name dropped in an Outkast song |
Most likely to crash your karaoke party, bachelor party, or White House press briefing (but no one will ever believe you) |
Most likely to need to run to Zales to get a “Kobe Special” |
Most likely to be photoshopped onto movie posters |
Most likely to portray a procyonid |
Most likely to team up with a Monster of Folk |
Most likely to lay down a diss track in response to a Twitter beef |
Most likely to tell you about the best new thing in the world |
Pro: most likely to write thank you notes. Con: most likely to promote #hashtags. |
Most likely to run operations for both a Senior Haus alum and a Kirkland House dropout |
Most likely to find the nation’s next top model |
Least likely to be invited to White House, due to doughnut licking |
Best Sk8ter Girlfriend |
Most likely to distribute the 2005 Pontiac G6 |
Most likely to sing the theme song for the highest rated program on television |