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Solution
 
Reward: Item or Gold!
Maybe someone from the warlord’s old high school can help him strategize. Just thinking about high school makes the warlord anxious, though—having to look good for the senior portrait, fill out the SAT forms . . .

      Most likely to have killed his on-screen father (who was sitting on the toilet at the time)

      Largest vocal range (female)

      Best windsurfer reporting for duty

      Most likely to fund a tower for Tim Berners-Lee, Dina Katabi, and Erik Demaine

      Most likely to slide his crotch into a camera in front of 200 million people

      Most appropriate surname

      Most likely to buy weed from Snoop Dogg

      Most likely to chair spin

      Most likely to need to be rescued

      Most likely to drive a bus that couldn’t slow down

      Most likely to be name dropped in an Outkast song

      Most likely to crash your karaoke party, bachelor party, or White House press briefing (but no one will ever believe you)

      Most likely to need to run to Zales to get a “Kobe Special”

      Most likely to be photoshopped onto movie posters

      Most likely to portray a procyonid

      Most likely to team up with a Monster of Folk

      Most likely to lay down a diss track in response to a Twitter beef

      Most likely to tell you about the best new thing in the world

      Pro: most likely to write thank you notes.
Con: most likely to promote #hashtags.

      Most likely to run operations for both a Senior Haus alum and a Kirkland House dropout

      Most likely to find the nation’s next top model

      Least likely to be invited to White House, due to doughnut licking

      Best Sk8ter Girlfriend

      Most likely to distribute the 2005 Pontiac G6

      Most likely to sing the theme song for the highest rated program on television