SPAM Haiku 101-200

Move backwards to Numbers 1-100.

101.
At least there are no
salivary glands in the
eternal blue can

--Anonymous

102.
SPAM, oh SPAM, come near
For there is a gap in me!
Pig guts. Nevermind.

--Paul Johnson

103.
What does S.P.A.M. stand for?
Solidified and Processed
Anti-Meat maybe?

--Anonymous

104.
Tragedy strikes home.
Innocent children play, then--
a drive-by Spamming.

--GoshMizer, GoshMizer@aol.com

105.
Went shopping for food.
What did I buy? SPAM. Victim
of advertising.

--GoshMizer, GoshMizer@aol.com

106.
Midnight snack attack--
Surely something's in the fridge.
SPAM. Well, back to bed.

--GoshMizer, GoshMizer@aol.com

107.
The haiku offered
has me somewhat concerned now.
"Am I a SPAM freak?"

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

108.
"A SPAM in the hand
Is worth many on the shelf."
That is what they say.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

109.
Walking through the market
I saw a large can of SPAM
Ate it by myself

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

110.
I consumed the SPAM
It travelled through my stomach
Didn't change too much

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

111.
Reading SPAM haiku
When my brain screamed out to me
Why do you waste time?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

112.
Oh when will SPAM cans
Display our lovely haiku
Printed on the back?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

113.
SPAM: Superfluous
Pieces of Animal Meat
Give me some more, please

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

114.
SPAMs stick well to glass
Leaving such glorious smears
When finally moved

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

115.
Oh wonderful key
Unlocking the SPAM inside
Its blue steel prison

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

116.
Nuke war--SPAM shortage
Reach for my trusty shotgun
Must protect my stash

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

117.
Split the SPAM atom
Enormous pink mushroom cloud
World covered in pork

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

118.
Ever heard tell of
The Aussies' SPAM-eating race?
Damn--ran out of space

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

119.
I put my shoes on
But remembered far too late
My secret SPAM stash

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

120.
Bathe in SPAM jelly
They say it's good for the skin
But it smells funny

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

121.
Hear the searing cries
Of wild SPAMbeasts scampering
How I love nature

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

122.
I took SPAM to work
They fired me--so be warned
It's not meant as clothes

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

123.
One fine winter morn
I awoke to a fine smell
SPAM as a pillow

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

124.
So many uses
Most of them are quite friendly
Except for SPAMguns

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

125.
Got a new SPAMgun
Covering the neighborhood
In great mounds of pork

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

126.
So much SPAM haiku
Perhaps we should all get lives...
On second thought... Naaaah.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

127.
The great ship was lost
Crates of SPAM flew overboard
They found their way home

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

128.
I bought a new car
Slid into a tree and then
the SPAMbags saved me

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

129.
A house made of SPAM
Like the living room enlarged?
Eat eat eat eat eat.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

130.
Bought big block of SPAM
Carved for days until I had
A small block of SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

131.
The first line had five
It was followed with seven
Then five--SPAM haiku

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

132.
How do I eat thee?
Let me count the ways--one, two,
Six hundred and twelve.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

133.
Why is it we find
A block made of pork pieces
To be so funny?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

134.
I found some more SPAM
Which had rolled under my bed
It had aged nicely

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

135.
I have some SPAM wine
A nineteen-ninety vintage
It's still quite lumpy

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

136.
My shoes have SPAM soles
I wear SPAM jeans shirts and ties
but my socks are wool

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

137.
I balanced the cans
then struck a pose upon them
The crowd was impressed

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

138.
Someone please tell me
Do they have to starve the pigs
When making SPAM LITE?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

139.
I talk to my SPAM
Sometimes it even talks back
Doctor gave me pills

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

140.
Car ran out of fuel
Tried using SPAM in the tank
Engine is now dead

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

141.
Put SPAM in my ears
Embarrassed to see doctor
What was that you said?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

142.
My new invention
Fizzy SPAM-flavored cola
It doesn't sell well

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

143.
SPAM, milk, and blender
Making me a SPAM smoothie
What a nice color

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

144.
I needed a change
So l left SPAM in the sun
Great change! Now it's green!

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

145.
Made a SPAM puppet
To entertain my doggie
Need a new hand now

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

146.
For inspiration
I ate sixteen cans of SPAM
In hospital now

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

147.
It often scares me
That SPAM is taking over
World-Wide Web pages

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

148.
Sliced SPAM in disk drive
Didn't help my computer
Repairman loves me

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

149.
I found on the net
SPAM Transfer Protocol site
Download SPAM all day

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

150.
Went to restaurant
They didn't serve any SPAM
I left in disgust

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

151.
Psych analysis:
imagine lingeried SPAM.
Sexy? You're kooky.

--Mike Lessacher, etlmllr@etlxdmx.ericsson.se

152.
With one can of SPAM
for every toenail I've lost,
I'd have three SPAM cans.

--Mike Lessacher, etlmllr@etlxdmx.ericsson.se

153.
Damn spam hillbilly
white trash cookbook staple meal
Resisting my kin?

--Lisa Nock, lnock@ecolan.sbs.ohio-state.edu

154.
The old kitchen floor.
SPAM leaps downward, escaping.
A loud "Glop" is heard.

--Anonymous

155.
The SPAM lies alone
it can't find a porcine mate
it cries in silence

--The Production Crew, upn41@upn41.com

156.
I talk to my SPAM
it can not hear me speaking
it lives in a can

--The Production Crew, upn41@upn41.com

157.
Armour Potted Meat
Mushy, gritty, not as pink
You'll never be SPAM

--Anonymous

158.
Exclusive dinner
Crystal goblets, china plates
Blackened SPAM on toast

--Anonymous

159.
Buddha twists the key
The pink meat is enlightened
SPAM in golden woods

--The Evolution Control Committee, ecc@gnu.ai.mit.edu

160.
My cat is so wise
SPAM fell on the kitchen floor
Kitty kept walking

--The Evolution Control Committee, ecc@gnu.ai.mit.edu

161.
Threw the SPAM so hard
It circumnavigated
The Earth and hit me.

--The Evolution Control Committee, ecc@gnu.ai.mit.edu

162.
SPAM in a coffin
With iron spikes inside it
Poor tortured pinkness

--The Evolution Control Committee, ecc@gnu.ai.mit.edu

163.
Star Trek transporters
Can't handle can molecules
SPAM arrives naked

--The Evolution Control Committee, ecc@gnu.ai.mit.edu

164.
Huge flying monkey's
happy in the afternoon
eat a snack of SPAM

--Pathetique

165.
Jettisoned SPAM? NO!
Astronauts cry, "Go back home!
Mars can wait some more."

--J. Mazur, mazur@sampx2.umd.edu

166.
it is bright and pink
and it reminds me of you
you SPAM-a-lama-ding-dong!

--Anonymous

167.
I love the SPAM page.
I must contribute to it
With virtues of SPAM.

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

168.
I love to eat SPAM.
I cook it with scrambled eggs.
Sizzles when it's done.

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

169.
SPAM and eggs are good.
Fostering contemplation
Yummy breakfast food.

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

170.
Many maligned SPAM's
Undigestability.
They have not seen truth.

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

171.
Much uncertainty
Enshrouds the contents of SPAM.
But who really cares?

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

172.
Daily I exist
Without completeness unless
I partake of SPAM.

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

173.
vacuum packed porker
bristly snub-nosed cuteness now
a smooth whoosh and mush

--Bruce Silberman, besilber@mail.med.cornell.edu

174.
Would Sam-I-am eat
Green eggs and ham rather than
SPAM in the odd can?

--Anonymous

175.
Thanksgiving is here
Dad carves the succulent bird
I crave the pink friend

--Anonymous

176.
Menacing pink cube
You tortured me in my youth
SPAM will have its day

--Anonymous

177.
Who discovered SPAM?
Biohazard! No Access!
But someone went in.

--Anonymous

178.
Species threatening!
Will mankind survive the plague?
Porkish invasion!

--Anonymous

179.
All the piggy parts
No one would want to consume
Pulverized and pink

--Anonymous

180.
Microwave oven
Twenty-five bricks of pink meat
Press "START," take cover

--Anonymous

181.
Packed in '48
Left to congeal in darkness
Now congeals in me

--Anonymous

182.
Jealous stares from cows
Only contempt from chickens
SPAM is pure pork, babe!

--Anonymous

183.
Too much SPAM to eat
makes it hard to think real well
what was I saying?

--Neil Weisenfeld, weisen@nih.gov

184.
Oh SPAM--I fry you,
I grill you, and not even
My dog will eat you!

--Bobby Gibbons, rgibbons@texas.kdsi.com

185.
What's the vomit called
After eating Hormel's meat?
It's the "Son of Spam."

--Bobby Gibbons, rgibbons@texas.kdsi.com

186.
Pink, gelatinous
a fallout shelter delight
inside peeled-back tin

--Barbara Bruxvoort, barbbrux4t@aol.com

187.
SPAM: lovely pinkness.
Virgin, firm, marblelike blocks:
Good for a sculpture.

--G. P. Cotsonas, geopi@hocpa.att.com

188.
Saturday TV,
Mom prepares a treat for us.
Ignorance is bliss!

--Anonymous

189.
Spam across newsgroups
I could ne'er do such a thing
Python did it best

--jedh@tigernet.net

190.
Wise Nostradamus
Looked far into the future.
Did not foresee SPAM.

--Anonymous

191.
The pinkness of SPAM
How it reminds me of you
It tastes like you too!

--Anonymous

192.
Rectangular meat
Did someone slaughter a cube?
Oh, orderly SPAM

--Kent Feiler, kfeiler@cpiusa.com

193.
Fried SPAM and white rice.
Nitrates and fiber combo.
Breakfast of champi'ns.

--Alvin Garcia, alvin@caip.rutgers.edu

194.
SPAM is substantial
A hunk of wanton pinkness
Oh, rejoice in it

--Anonymous

195.
Saint Peter, I've come!
What? There's no SPAM in heaven?
Death, where is thy sting?

--Steve Ault, steven.ault@m.cc.utah.edu

196.
Camping dilemma:
SPAM or Dinty Moore again?
Lets go catch some fish!

--GaryMarzec@aol.com

197.
Been 'round for ages
Shelf life of 100 years
SPAM I salute you

--Anonymous

198.
The Day After SPAM
Small chunks of "flesh" between teeth
Tasty little snack

--rlanam@reedref.com

199.
SPAM at the party.
Trays of snacks for loud-mouthed guests.
They think it's real food.

--Ellen Adams, ellena@vnet.ibm.com

200.
Serve SPAM warm, with Brie:
It's a conversation piece,
The talk of the town.

--Stewart McKeever, mckeevers@cofc.edu