SPAM Haiku 101-200

Move backwards to Numbers 1-100.


101.
At least there are no
salivary glands in the
eternal blue can
--Anonymous

102.
SPAM, oh SPAM, come near
For there is a gap in me!
Pig guts. Nevermind.

--Paul Johnson

103.
What does S.P.A.M. stand for?
Solidified and Processed
Anti-Meat maybe?

--Anonymous

104.
Tragedy strikes home.
Innocent children play, then--
a drive-by Spamming.

--GoshMizer, GoshMizer@aol.com

105.
Went shopping for food.
What did I buy? SPAM. Victim
of advertising.

--GoshMizer, GoshMizer@aol.com

106.
Midnight snack attack--
Surely something's in the fridge.
SPAM. Well, back to bed.

--GoshMizer, GoshMizer@aol.com

107.
The haiku offered
has me somewhat concerned now.
"Am I a SPAM freak?"

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

108.
"A SPAM in the hand
Is worth many on the shelf."
That is what they say.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

109.
Walking through the market
I saw a large can of SPAM
Ate it by myself

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

110.
I consumed the SPAM
It travelled through my stomach
Didn't change too much

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

111.
Reading SPAM haiku
When my brain screamed out to me
Why do you waste time?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

112.
Oh when will SPAM cans
Display our lovely haiku
Printed on the back?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

113.
SPAM: Superfluous
Pieces of Animal Meat
Give me some more, please

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

114.
SPAMs stick well to glass
Leaving such glorious smears
When finally moved

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

115.
Oh wonderful key
Unlocking the SPAM inside
Its blue steel prison

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

116.
Nuke war--SPAM shortage
Reach for my trusty shotgun
Must protect my stash

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

117.
Split the SPAM atom
Enormous pink mushroom cloud
World covered in pork

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

118.
Ever heard tell of
The Aussies' SPAM-eating race?
Damn--ran out of space

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

119.
I put my shoes on
But remembered far too late
My secret SPAM stash

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

120.
Bathe in SPAM jelly
They say it's good for the skin
But it smells funny

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

121.
Hear the searing cries
Of wild SPAMbeasts scampering
How I love nature

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

122.
I took SPAM to work
They fired me--so be warned
It's not meant as clothes

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

123.
One fine winter morn
I awoke to a fine smell
SPAM as a pillow

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

124.
So many uses
Most of them are quite friendly
Except for SPAMguns

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

125.
Got a new SPAMgun
Covering the neighborhood
In great mounds of pork

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

126.
So much SPAM haiku
Perhaps we should all get lives...
On second thought... Naaaah.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

127.
The great ship was lost
Crates of SPAM flew overboard
They found their way home

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

128.
I bought a new car
Slid into a tree and then
the SPAMbags saved me

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

129.
A house made of SPAM
Like the living room enlarged?
Eat eat eat eat eat.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

130.
Bought big block of SPAM
Carved for days until I had
A small block of SPAM

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

131.
The first line had five
It was followed with seven
Then five--SPAM haiku

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

132.
How do I eat thee?
Let me count the ways--one, two,
Six hundred and twelve.

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

133.
Why is it we find
A block made of pork pieces
To be so funny?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

134.
I found some more SPAM
Which had rolled under my bed
It had aged nicely

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

135.
I have some SPAM wine
A nineteen-ninety vintage
It's still quite lumpy

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

136.
My shoes have SPAM soles
I wear SPAM jeans shirts and ties
but my socks are wool

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

137.
I balanced the cans
then struck a pose upon them
The crowd was impressed

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

138.
Someone please tell me
Do they have to starve the pigs
When making SPAM LITE?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

139.
I talk to my SPAM
Sometimes it even talks back
Doctor gave me pills

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

140.
Car ran out of fuel
Tried using SPAM in the tank
Engine is now dead

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

141.
Put SPAM in my ears
Embarrassed to see doctor
What was that you said?

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

142.
My new invention
Fizzy SPAM-flavored cola
It doesn't sell well

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

143.
SPAM, milk, and blender
Making me a SPAM smoothie
What a nice color

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

144.
I needed a change
So l left SPAM in the sun
Great change! Now it's green!

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

145.
Made a SPAM puppet
To entertain my doggie
Need a new hand now

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

146.
For inspiration
I ate sixteen cans of SPAM
In hospital now

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

147.
It often scares me
That SPAM is taking over
World-Wide Web pages

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

148.
Sliced SPAM in disk drive
Didn't help my computer
Repairman loves me

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

149.
I found on the net
SPAM Transfer Protocol site
Download SPAM all day

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

150.
Went to restaurant
They didn't serve any SPAM
I left in disgust

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

151.
Psych analysis:
imagine lingeried SPAM.
Sexy? You're kooky.

--Mike Lessacher, etlmllr@etlxdmx.ericsson.se

152.
With one can of SPAM
for every toenail I've lost,
I'd have three SPAM cans.

--Mike Lessacher, etlmllr@etlxdmx.ericsson.se

153.
Damn spam hillbilly
white trash cookbook staple meal
Resisting my kin?

--Lisa Nock, lnock@ecolan.sbs.ohio-state.edu

154.
The old kitchen floor.
SPAM leaps downward, escaping.
A loud "Glop" is heard.

--Anonymous

155.
The SPAM lies alone
it can't find a porcine mate
it cries in silence

--The Production Crew, upn41@upn41.com

156.
I talk to my SPAM
it can not hear me speaking
it lives in a can

--The Production Crew, upn41@upn41.com

157.
Armour Potted Meat
Mushy, gritty, not as pink
You'll never be SPAM

--Anonymous

158.
Exclusive dinner
Crystal goblets, china plates
Blackened SPAM on toast

--Anonymous

159.
Buddha twists the key
The pink meat is enlightened
SPAM in golden woods

--The Evolution Control Committee, ecc@gnu.ai.mit.edu

160.
My cat is so wise
SPAM fell on the kitchen floor
Kitty kept walking

--The Evolution Control Committee, ecc@gnu.ai.mit.edu

161.
Threw the SPAM so hard
It circumnavigated
The Earth and hit me.

--The Evolution Control Committee, ecc@gnu.ai.mit.edu

162.
SPAM in a coffin
With iron spikes inside it
Poor tortured pinkness

--The Evolution Control Committee, ecc@gnu.ai.mit.edu

163.
Star Trek transporters
Can't handle can molecules
SPAM arrives naked

--The Evolution Control Committee, ecc@gnu.ai.mit.edu

164.
Huge flying monkey's
happy in the afternoon
eat a snack of SPAM

--Pathetique

165.
Jettisoned SPAM? NO!
Astronauts cry, "Go back home!
Mars can wait some more."

--J. Mazur, mazur@sampx2.umd.edu

166.
it is bright and pink
and it reminds me of you
you SPAM-a-lama-ding-dong!

--Anonymous

167.
I love the SPAM page.
I must contribute to it
With virtues of SPAM.

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

168.
I love to eat SPAM.
I cook it with scrambled eggs.
Sizzles when it's done.

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

169.
SPAM and eggs are good.
Fostering contemplation
Yummy breakfast food.

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

170.
Many maligned SPAM's
Undigestability.
They have not seen truth.

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

171.
Much uncertainty
Enshrouds the contents of SPAM.
But who really cares?

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

172.
Daily I exist
Without completeness unless
I partake of SPAM.

--Dr. Mellow (Greg Cohoon), drmellow@catt.ncsu.edu

173.
vacuum packed porker
bristly snub-nosed cuteness now
a smooth whoosh and mush

--Bruce Silberman, besilber@mail.med.cornell.edu

174.
Would Sam-I-am eat
Green eggs and ham rather than
SPAM in the odd can?

--Anonymous

175.
Thanksgiving is here
Dad carves the succulent bird
I crave the pink friend

--Anonymous

176.
Menacing pink cube
You tortured me in my youth
SPAM will have its day

--Anonymous

177.
Who discovered SPAM?
Biohazard! No Access!
But someone went in.

--Anonymous

178.
Species threatening!
Will mankind survive the plague?
Porkish invasion!

--Anonymous

179.
All the piggy parts
No one would want to consume
Pulverized and pink

--Anonymous

180.
Microwave oven
Twenty-five bricks of pink meat
Press "START," take cover

--Anonymous

181.
Packed in '48
Left to congeal in darkness
Now congeals in me

--Anonymous

182.
Jealous stares from cows
Only contempt from chickens
SPAM is pure pork, babe!

--Anonymous

183.
Too much SPAM to eat
makes it hard to think real well
what was I saying?

--Neil Weisenfeld, weisen@nih.gov

184.
Oh SPAM--I fry you,
I grill you, and not even
My dog will eat you!

--Bobby Gibbons, rgibbons@texas.kdsi.com

185.
What's the vomit called
After eating Hormel's meat?
It's the "Son of Spam."

--Bobby Gibbons, rgibbons@texas.kdsi.com

186.
Pink, gelatinous
a fallout shelter delight
inside peeled-back tin

--Barbara Bruxvoort, barbbrux4t@aol.com

187.
SPAM: lovely pinkness.
Virgin, firm, marblelike blocks:
Good for a sculpture.

--G. P. Cotsonas, geopi@hocpa.att.com

188.
Saturday TV,
Mom prepares a treat for us.
Ignorance is bliss!

--Anonymous

189.
Spam across newsgroups
I could ne'er do such a thing
Python did it best

--jedh@tigernet.net

190.
Wise Nostradamus
Looked far into the future.
Did not foresee SPAM.

--Anonymous

191.
The pinkness of SPAM
How it reminds me of you
It tastes like you too!

--Anonymous

192.
Rectangular meat
Did someone slaughter a cube?
Oh, orderly SPAM

--Kent Feiler, kfeiler@cpiusa.com

193.
Fried SPAM and white rice.
Nitrates and fiber combo.
Breakfast of champi'ns.

--Alvin Garcia, alvin@caip.rutgers.edu

194.
SPAM is substantial
A hunk of wanton pinkness
Oh, rejoice in it

--Anonymous

195.
Saint Peter, I've come!
What? There's no SPAM in heaven?
Death, where is thy sting?

--Steve Ault, steven.ault@m.cc.utah.edu

196.
Camping dilemma:
SPAM or Dinty Moore again?
Lets go catch some fish!

--GaryMarzec@aol.com

197.
Been 'round for ages
Shelf life of 100 years
SPAM I salute you

--Anonymous

198.
The Day After SPAM
Small chunks of "flesh" between teeth
Tasty little snack

--rlanam@reedref.com

199.
SPAM at the party.
Trays of snacks for loud-mouthed guests.
They think it's real food.

--Ellen Adams, ellena@vnet.ibm.com

200.
Serve SPAM warm, with Brie:
It's a conversation piece,
The talk of the town.

--Stewart McKeever, mckeevers@cofc.edu


Move forwards to Numbers 201-300.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.