SPAM Haiku 201-300

Move backwards to Numbers 101-200.

201.
In regards to SPAM:
Sexual hangups aside,
It makes me feel strange.

--Stewart McKeever, mckeevers@cofc.edu

202.
SPAM is useful stuff.
So versatile, you'll never
Try anything else.

--Stewart McKeever, mckeevers@cofc.edu

203.
Snouts, ears, hooves, and such
Maybe floor sweepings as well
SPAM! Food of the gods!

--Pat_Williams@itd.sterling.com

204.
Jules refuses SPAM
And all related products
But Vinny likes it.

--"Mia Wallace"

205.
"Please don't murder me,
Mister SPAM, son of Satan!"
Vegan cries of woe.

--Anonymous

206.
Home, in the icebox.
Ravenous most of the time.
Frozen SPAM crunches.

--dforbes@chipcom.com

207.
SPAM? What's all this then?
Oh yes, the pink sweet meat. Urp.
Ack. I'm gonna hurl.

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

208.
Snouts and hooves and eyes,
Oh my! Come here, my pretty
pretty meat-like food.

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

209.
SPAM? Chipped pork and ham?
Much better than Treet, is SPAM.
Can I have your SPAM?

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

210.
These are the forces
that drive the hands that make SPAM.
The great taste of meat!

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

211.
Qu'est-ce que c'est, ce "SPAM"?
Une viande formidable?
Non, je ne crois pas.

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

212.
SPAM, SPAM. Musical
meat. More you eat, more you bleat.
Pass the Rolaids, please.

--Lonnie Grantham, granthl@aa.wl.com

213.
the apparition
of this gelatinous mass:
wet pink pig's asses

--DPL

214.
SPAM is more than ham
It is ham with something more
We are all SPAM, man!

--Darren Sleeman, darren@open17.europe.apple.com

215.
Try the SPAM diet:
Whenever you look at SPAM
you don't want to eat.

--Nichole

216.
Colon-clogging SPAM.
A rectal intubation
Relieves my distress.

--Anonymous

217.
Colostomy bags
Emptied into squarish cans
The SPAM factory

--Anonymous

218.
SPAM glistens pinkly;
Cat taps it with wary paw
To see if it's dead.

--Anonymous

219.
Pigs in cubicles,
Bearing cubical piglets,
Born in their SPAM cans.

--Tom, tomm@beast.amd.com

220.
If mapS were made of
Spam, would Spam be made of ham?
I really doubt it.

--Tom, tomm@beast.amd.com

221.
Dole, Gramm, and Gingrich.
Pink, porcine, processed, packaged.
Political SPAM.

--Spamonymous

222.
Soviet Union.
Evil Empire? Sure! But we
Can't blame it on SPAM.

--Spamonymous

223.
Downtown park in spring
with SPAM-pink cherry blossoms
neon haze of night

--Dr. S. Garrigues, steve@bh.kyungpook.ac.kr

224.
Sunset placid pond
where campers often linger--
rusted can of SPAM

--Dr. S. Garrigues, steve@bh.kyungpook.ac.kr

225.
Memories of days
waiting in employment lines--
long days without SPAM

--Dr. S. Garrigues, steve@bh.kyungpook.ac.kr

226.
SPAM used for fish bait
Game warden walks up to me
"See yer SPAM license?"

--Jeff Morris, j._b._morris@uprc.com

227.
Will the fish bite SPAM?
Hey dude, you know they eat worms!
They will not bite SPAM?

--Jeff Morris, j._b._morris@uprc.com

228.
Fish not biting SPAM?
Why don't you try something else?
Hey dude, what's yer point?

--Jeff Morris, j._b._morris@uprc.com

229.
There is an oil slick
So much for fishing with SPAM
I hide from GreenPeace

--Jeff Morris, j._b._morris@uprc.com

230.
Oil boils in skillet
Pink flesh falls from bright sharp knife
Sound of SPAM frying

--Anonymous

231.
Lovely butterfly,
Floating on zephyr's bosom.
I'd squash you for SPAM.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

232.
Refrigerator
light reveals SPAM to hungry
drunk. Next morning: puke.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

233.
As she turns away,
I think, "Good riddance, you bitch.
I've still got my SPAM."

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

234.
Scott O'Grady packed
SPAM in his survival kit,
lived on bugs for days.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

235.
"Mommy," says the brat,
"I don't like Spam." Mom replies,
"Hold your breath; swallow."

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

236.
Notes spill forth as the
SPAM I use to fret the strings
gunks up my guitar.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

237.
Sweat beads on temples
As straining against my bonds
I yearn for the SPAM.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

238.
The lowly catfish,
carrion-eating, rejects
my SPAM-covered hook.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

239.
Morbidity is
Mine. Spamosity is SPAM's
Blessed holiness.

--Bill Robertson, billr@bu.edu

240.
I remember SPAM.
As child, camping; as adult,
vegetarian.

--Brian Smithson, brian@eit.com

241.
SPAM, are you father
to hot dogs, baloney and
Chicken McNuggets?

--Bill T. Cat

242.
O SPAM of ages
Preservatives protect thee
Hundred-year shelf life

--Anonymous

243.
Swine that died for SPAM
Shall you outlast your slayers?
Dead, yet immortal.

--Anonymous

244.
SPAM, meat in a can
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM, parts of a lamb

--Anonymous

245.
reconstituted
synthetic homogofood
one is what one eats

--Anonymous

246.
SPAM, I ate you once
I was very hungry then
Looking back, I wince

--Anonymous

247.
Meat of the People
Proletarian Protein
The Workers eat well!

--Anonymous

248.
SPAM: Holy Meat, or
Is it an internet clog?
I respond to both!

--Charlie Gould, cgould@bu.edu

249.
Farm Scene: Happy Pig.
Old MacDonald, axe in hand.
SPAM ingredients.

--Anonymous

250.
Thick pink slice of SPAM
Frying in a frying pan
Shaped, still, like the can

--Anonymous

251.
Sitting on my shelf
Serene SPAM, pig-pink pretty
Fills me with pleasure

--Sharon Hall

252.
Sweaty summer night.
Stomach churns in agony.
SPAM farts. Holy Shit!

--Anonymous

253.
Beloved kitty.
Cupboard bare except for SPAM.
Kitty rest in peace.

--Bill T. Cat

254.
My mother loved SPAM,
Glistening pink cube of "pork."
I'm in therapy.

--Dave Barsalow

255.
Arnold Ziffel, pig.
Resident of Green Acres.
Does he rest in SPAM?

--Dave Barsalow

256.
Took the SPAM plant tour.
A cause for fear and concern:
WORKERS MISSING LIMBS!!!

--Bill T. Cat

257.
Frolicking fat frog,
Living near the factory.
Now he is SPAM too!

--Bill T. Cat

258.
Drive to work one morn,
My eyes spy pink roadkill chunk.
Think of SPAM for lunch.

--Bill T. Cat

259.
Sign says "SPAM ahead."
Next exit is fifty miles.
Sped up to 80.

--Bill T. Cat

260.
SHAM, you bastard, you've
wrecked my life. Now my time's spent
writing SPAM haiku.

--Bill T. Cat

261.
Creamy grits and SPAM,
SPAM-gravy gravid biscuits:
Blubber tastes better.

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

262.
SPAM, encased in can,
Coil up your metal zip-strip.
Hark! Uncork your pork!

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

263.
Apollo 13:
What really happened up there?
SPAM got in the works.

--GoshMizer, GoshMizer@aol.com

264.
If SPAM went to Cannes,
Would the glamorous Cannes hams
Be jealous of SPAM?

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

265.
If SPAM went to Cannes,
Would the glamorous Cannes ham
Be gel-less than SPAM?

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

266.
Mmm! SPAM for dinner!
Now I need some nutrition--
Twinkies for dessert.

--GoshMizer, GoshMizer@aol.com

267.
SPAM, SPAM on the range
Where beer and cantaloupe play
Listen to their calls

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

268.
Try new SPAM carving
All you need's a plastic knife
I can carve a pig

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

269.
"Man Chokes on SPAM Chunk"
Bit off more than he could chew.
It's a pink mourning.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

270.
SPAM, a child's plaything.
Even better than Play Dough--
surpasses slime, too.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

271.
Oh, succulent SPAM,
I want to sink my teeth in
and taste your pork-joy.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

272.
A high-school catch word:
"Spamn it spam face, spam off man,
Hot spam injection."

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

273.
My granddad likes SPAM;
It doesn't stick to dentures.
SPAM makes false teeth smile.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

274.
His carnal desire,
insatiable lust for SPAM
led to destruction.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

275.
Spam-modic motion
like a yo-yo in your throat,
rising, falling gorge.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

276.
Road-kill in a can,
remains of bloody victims
and they call it SPAM.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

277.
Gazing in horror
as my SPAM walks out the door.
"Come back, please, come back!!"

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

278.
I scolded my SPAM
because it left the seat up--
repeat offender.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

279.
The SPAM mystery:
unidentifiable
ancient pork secret.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

280.
Gyrating SPAM blobs--
fluorescent pink and dancing,
smiling, pulsating.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

281.
SPAM, straight from the can
or fried on bread with ketchup.
MMmmmemories from youth.

--Jackie Groce, grocej@cmc.cz

282.
Fifteen cans of SPAM,
I have the power you Fools!
Thus I rule, kitchens?

--Anonymous

283.
Soon headlines will read
"Government Seizes SPAM Plant!"
I eat in great fear

--Anonymous

284.
SUMMER: Time for SPAM!
Cornucopia of parts;
I reel at the thought!

--Charlie Gould, cgould@bu.edu

285.
I asked her for SPAM.
"Not in this house!" she replied.
Instant proposal!!

--Charlie Gould, cgould@bu.edu

286.
Desire overwhelms.
"SPAM, I must have more of it!"
Freud would be enthralled.

--Andrew Smialek, asmialek@SEVA.net

287.
Public swimming pool.
Half-empty SPAM can floats by.
Pandemonium!

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

288.
To kill slugs and bugs
Place can of SPAM in garden.
They crawl in and die.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

289.
Only that which ain't
Used for hot dogs and sausage
Is made into SPAM.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

290.
Flunked out of high school,
Now work in SPAM factory.
My teacher was right.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

291.
McDonald's, Hormel
Forge business alliance, serve
SPAM Quarter Pounder.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

292.
Target marketing:
'Rassling will be sponsored by
SPAM, Psychic Hotline.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

293.
Bones, blood, and sinew.
Eyeballs, gonads, and sphincters.
Could be anything.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

294.
Group of friends cooking
SPAM around campfire: "It don't
get no better'n this!"

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

295.
I sing the blues and
Think about the SPAM I left
behind: misery!

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

296.
Pig-parts garbage dump,
Enterprising rummager.
"SPAM, I give you life!"

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

297.
Radar was upset,
SPAM Lamb was the solution.
Crisis averted.

--asmialek@SEVA.net

298.
The war in the Gulf:
Saddam wanted Kuwaiti SPAM.
Tyranny halted.

--asmialek@SEVA.net

299.
I have got a SPAM
Where my cerebellum was;
Perhaps vice-versa?

--john "friday is spam-day" sahr

300.
SPAM Symmetry Group:
top bottom, left right, up down
Iso-tasty moves.

--john "friday is spam-day" sahr