Go backwards to The SHAM's Tasty Picks (Part 3).
3044.
A SPAM a day keeps
the doctor away (but brings
the coroner near).
3051.
"George, tell me about
The rabbits." "Sure, Lenny. They
Were made into SPAM."
3071.
Hormel sues Cho for
"damaging reputation."
Judge dismisses case.
3092.
Bulimics love it:
Easy down, easy up, and
a nice storage can.
3131.
Put SPAM in the tank.
Turns the toilet water pink.
2000 flushes!
3154.
napping on sofa,
spam aficionado.
bubbles on the rise.
3158.
unlabeled tin cube
purchased it in a thrift store
thoughts of Pandora
3216.
Einstein: Universe
Isn't caused by random blasts.
"God does not eat SPAM!"
3225.
But to have kids, Sire,
your SPAM count should be higher.
I am not kidding.
3233.
A long time ago
Martin Luther banged his thumb.
Swung hammer--and SPAM!
3329.
Black cat drags about
his pink, purloined bite of SPAM
like an extra tongue.
3358.
SPAM commercial: Two
Yugos pull up. "Pardon me.
Have you any SPAM?"
3389.
Kittens' first day out:
They encounter SPAM! One sniff,
all run back to Mom.
3393.
SPAM: Love at first sight.
I loved you when first we kissed,
Then I tasted you.
3405.
After centuries,
Tokugawa Empire ends--
Perry brought them SPAM.
3409.
Translated "Descartes"
Into English, reversed; it's
"SPAM EMOS," I think.
3412.
Bishop Berkeley says:
Even when we don't taste SPAM,
God is tasting it.
3425.
Bhagavad Gita:
"Now I am become SPAM, the
destroyer of meals."
3448.
Silken pig tofu
The color of spanked buttocks
Blushing at my knife
3450.
Slaughterhouse product
The screams of a thousand pigs
Silent within you
3451.
SPAM needs no chewing
It slides like fish down the throat
Of a cormorant
3453.
Broken shopping bag
A SPAM can sits on wet streets
Doubly pathetic
3458.
When I called for SPAM,
It answered, "Call me Legion,
For I am many."
3463.
SPAM, too, needs a wife.
What consort for my Pork Prince?
Ah! The Velveeta!
3467.
Like a new piglet
Slick with slime, SPAM emerges
Making sucking sounds.
3470.
Cursing from the pan
Growing hotter each second
Now spitting at me
3471.
In mud you frolicked
Till they cut, cleaned and canned you.
How now, thou ground sow?
3477.
You leave the table
So offended by my meal.
Come back, little fly!
3502.
Barracks, shower rooms,
Smell of gas. Sign over gate:
"Ersatz Fleisch Macht Frei!"
3539.
Served raw on white bread
or heated using Sterno.
Too many choices.
3545.
"Use all but the oink!"
"Can it and color it pink!"
Marketing genius.
3548.
SPAM gel on the floor:
Can opened haphazardly.
A near fatal fall.
3555.
A business dinner.
Unknowing wife serves up SPAM.
The contract is lost.
3559.
A man sits depressed.
A lone tear rolls down his face.
The key has broken.
3590.
"Most-favored nation"?
Little do the Chinese know
This means lots of SPAM.
3594.
"What's for lunch, Wilma?"
"Spamasaurus sandwiches."
"Yabba-dabba-don't!"
3648.
Butterflies flutter
Causing a storm miles away.
SPAMku's just the same.
3671.
Indian looks down
on Hormel plant. A single
tear runs down his face.
3679.
Pins, toothpicks, pencils,
Stick bolt upright in the SPAM:
So multi-purpose.
3683.
A deranged old man
Puts SPAM in his bird feeder,
Rubs his hands, cackles.
3686.
In the cabinet,
It lurks, unseen, forgotten...
Then you move the soup.
3700.
SPAM in wilderness:
No natural enemy,
Animals are scared.
3708.
The light in your eyes
When you hear the "beep-beep-beep"
Of the microwave.
3710.
I felt a small thrill
When I nicked my ring finger
On the can's sharp edge.
3735.
Attach electrodes
To the SPAM, jolt it, shock it--
Still it will not oink.
3745.
Apollo-Soyuz.
They gave vodka; we gave SPAM.
The Cold War resumed.
3758.
I sing little songs
To help the SPAM stay cheerful
Until I fry it.
3759.
Through the wall I hear
My neighbor say, "What good SPAM!"
I burn with envy.
3762.
Leaves wither and fall,
Snow descends, then the spring thaw--
The SPAM is still fresh.
3812.
A bitter divorce
Screams in the lawyer's office
"You always served SPAM"
3814.
At Bournes Stores they sliced
meat the color of your face
thin as rubber bands.
3832.
Pigs on a death march
Their long faces ending up
In silly lunchmeat
3835.
SPAM has its phantoms:
A pig squeals, then falls silent
As the h in ghost.
3868.
Throbbing hot pink meat
I want to slip it inside
The nearest trash can
3881.
Creamy pink jelly,
spread on bread by female hand.
SPAM jam, thank you, ma'am.
3887.
Father pig to son:
"One day, all yours will be this,"
pointing to SPAM tin.
3908.
Moon rises, white as
Two slices of bread. Sun sets,
Pink as SPAM within.
3925.
Man wearing white shirt
Drops meat, causing greasy stain;
Cries, "Out, out, SPAM dot!"