Go backwards to The SHAM's Tasty Picks (Part 4).
4015.
Eyelids hang heavy
As father drones on and on
About SPAM's great taste.
4028.
SPAM farts from the can
Then three hours later, I fart.
Mute pigs speaking twice.
4031.
SPAM and stomach flu
My floor becomes a canvas
In 10 shades of pink
4036.
Pig lips meet my lips
Pig anus meets my anus
A meeting of meat
4043.
Scavengers love it
Dumpster-strewn SPAM can innards
Taste like carrion
4044.
Push the right button
And I'll give you this SPAM treat--
You stupid monkey!
4059.
The tarot reader
Turns over the final card--
No! Not "The SPAM Can"!
4061.
Eating SPAM is like
listening to maiden aunts
reliving their youth.
4093.
SPAM, fresh from the can
is an oxymoron like
a well-deserved TREET.
4097.
Guards at the border
prevent SPAM from entering
90210.
4111.
A lone slice of SPAM
In the empty parking lot
Between two skid marks.
4136.
Gross man eats loudly
Butt crack just above his belt
Smacking SPAM-wet lips
4146.
Sinnest thou today,
And cast thy pearls before swine?
Haiku before SPAM.
4158.
Once separated,
The sow rejoins her children
In a small blue can.
4164.
They break down the door
As he opens the SPAM can.
The rabbi exposed!
4171.
AMPS make music loud,
MAPS guide you, SAMP is coarse grits,
But SPAM is just SPAM.
4184.
Capitalism.
Birth. School. Work. Old age. Death. SPAM.
Capitalism.
4187.
The grim sucking sound
Of the SPAM shucking its skin,
Its hard blue cocoon.
4233.
Tear down the walls of
Quietest room in the house
SPAM comes spilling out
4249.
On a twisty road
An empty rusted SPAM can
The corpse can't be far
4386.
Communism: It's
SPAM, cabbage, SPAM, potatoes,
tiny apartment.
4396.
Flies love SPAM. A place
To meet, mate, eat, excrete. Sure
Beats a horse's ass.
4416.
See how the fish dive
For the greasy flecks I flick.
See how the fish float.
4425.
When giraffes vomit,
It's a long, long, long way up.
That's why they shun SPAM.
4429.
Car on the highway
Plates read "SPAM 5-7-5"
It's the SHAMobile
4453.
Sensing his need grow,
she knelt obediently
and opened the SPAM.
4469.
mehitabel and
archie share a can of spam
dead roach on space bar...
4479.
"Slow down," she whispered,
now guiding my trembling hands,
"Turn the key slowly."
4509.
Arecibo sees
Heaven while Cho examines
Hell: divine balance.
4521.
On my brown lunch bag,
A spreading translucent spot--
SPAM again today.
4524.
hatchery product
just "homeless seagoing spam"
whither wild salmon
4529.
A strange sound--faint rip
And a heavy splat. The SPAM
Fell off the ceiling.
4531.
A pleasant dinner
Of SPAM is marred only by
Everyone's vomit.
4559.
Perfection uncanned
Like a beautiful redhead
Fresh from her trailer
4561.
Square as our shoulders
Red as our Bible Belt necks
Soft as our bellies
4562.
SPAM by candle light
What could be more romantic?
Open the Night Train.
4691.
Savory pink block,
Like a deer at a salt lick
I give you my tongue.
4695.
Soft, pink, fleshy SPAM
Goes from yonic to phallic
Hardening with heat
4700.
Cooked over mesquite,
SPAM enrobes the desert moon
In a fragrant stole.
4791.
With the empty can
Held up to my ear, I hear
The sound of the sty.
4793.
"Kiss me," she pleaded,
But I cruelly turned away,
Having seen her lunch.
4813.
SPAM and Tang dinner.
Meal most feared by astronauts.
"Open the trash, HAL."
4834.
Eating SPAM is like
Having two tongues in your mouth,
And swallowing one.
4844.
A slice of satin:
Hormel has transformed sows' ears
Into a silk purse!
4848.
The SPAM slides smoothly
Down the snowy hill, leaving
A slick pale pink trail.
4861.
Fifty blocks of SPAM
A giant PEZ dispenser
Crowned with a pig's head
4939.
Pink as partridge eyes
But its vitreous humor
Is on the outside
4963.
Her bath is my broth.
The painted pork prostitute
Makes the water blush!
4976.
I opened a can.
Inside there was a small snout.
"Not again," I moaned.
Last modified: Thu Mar 20 16:59:04 GMT-0400 1997