How to Get 
    Around 
MIT        

“a small liberal arts school in Boston”

Harvard.

Admin

 Administrator. The fastest growing non-marginalized minority on campus. Vague shadowy figure students can blame for general woes. See. “The Man”

Alum

 n. (1) Short for alumnus or alumna. (2) A potassium aluminum sulfate or an ammonium aluminum sulfate, used especially as an emetic and as an astringent and styptic.

anal

 (1) Uptight, obsessive-compulsive. (2) Anal-Retentive MIT Student

ASA

 Association of Student Activities. Coordinating body for student activities, clubs, etc. Handles things often covered by administrators at other schools, such as office and bulletin board allocation.

Ashdown

 Graduate Dorm on the other side of Simmons, Used to be located what is now Maseeh on Mass Ave.

Athena

 Archaic unix-based MIT computing environment, often mythologized as mere legend for its simultaneous omni-presence and non-existence

Atomic Courtyard

 See Secret Ninja Courtyard.

“Back in the Day “

 (1) reactionary term. Whenever the Alum considers the “good” part of MIT’s history or to compare when things were much more hardcore (q.v.).

Bathroom

 Arts and Media Technology Building (E15, The Media Lab). Also known as the “Pei Toilet” (after architect I. M. Pei).

BCS

 Brain and Cognitive Sciences (Course IX).

BE

 Biological Engineering (Course XX).

Beast from the East

 Resident of Second East, East Campus.

“beaver”

 The MIT mascot, engineer of the animal kingdom.

Big Dome

 Invaluable Term When Directed Lost Parents. See Great Dome

Big Sail

 The official name of the steel sculpture by Alexander Calder south of the Green Building, one of the few art pieces on campus that is also functional. Starting place of the annual spontaneous Tuition Riot (q.v.). Usually called the Great Sail.

Big Sail, Working Model

 A preliminary scaled-down version of the Big Sail. Used to reside on Mass. Ave. in front of Building 9, until they found out it was worth something and moved it to the Media Lab atrium. Often called the Little Sail.

Big Screw

 A 4’, solid aluminum, left-handed thread, wood screw presented by APO during Spring Weekend to the faculty or staff member voted most deserving.

BITD

 See “back in the day”.

blood on concrete

 Irreverent nickname for MIT’s cardinal red and steel gray school colors.

blow off

 v. (1) To flush (q.v.). (2) To punt (q.v.). To neglect to do

boffing

 A recreational activity involving play combat with foam and PVC-based weaponry. Popular among some twinkies (q.v.) who are often Randomites (q.v.).

Bomber

 (1) Resident of Burton Third. (2) A good anchor point.

Boner

(1) Resident of Burton First (b-1-er)

Brass Rat

 Ugly hunk of gold some MIT students and alums wear on a finger.

Bridge Circuit

 n. (1) A running course along the Charles River which includes the BU, Harvard, and/or Longfellow Bridges. Not to be confused with a circuit bridge. (2) A series of card contests where people play rubbers.

Bronze Bunny

 Sculpture in Lowell Court (building 1), also called the “Bunny Shrine”. Officially named “Three Piece Reclining Figure, Draped.”

BSO

 Boston Symphony Orchestra.

BSU

 Black Students Union.

Bubble [Effect]

 The invisible, intangible social barrier and filter between MIT students and the Rest of the World, commonly experienced by tools (q.v.) and the most perpetually hosed (q.v.) individuals. Example manifestations: “Who’s George W. Bush?”, “What war?”, etc.

bummer

Post-choke or post-screw description of said choke or screw; in general, something not good.

bug

 n. (1) A natural or introduced flaw, often the cause of a crash (q.v.). (2) One of our cherished friends inhabiting MIT dorms, who does not pay tuition, nor, more relevantly, rent.

busted

 pp. (1) Arrested. (2) Broken. Usually related to Hacking

by definition

 av. (1) Clearly, obviously. (2) Necessarily. (3) “I can’t remember why.”

Camp Cambridge

 MIT.

CAP

 Committee on Academic Performance. (2) v. To place on academic probation; e.g. “I got capped because I spent too much time punting.”

caveat emptor

 Let the buyer beware. Usually in reference to Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace

CEE

 Civil and Environmental Engineering (Course I).

CGSP

 Committee on Graduate School Policy.

Chancellor

 Administration position, Big Brother is watching you.

cheese graters

 Nickname of the ridiculous metal booths in Lobby 7 that replaced the low-key, “messy” functionality of drop posters and publications shelves with the lofty architectural form of giant, obstructive kitchen implements.

ChemE

 [pronounced kem-ee] Chemical Engineering (Course X).

Cheney Room

 Margaret Cheney Room (3-310), for women students only.

Chocolate City

One of the cultural houses, occupying the top three floors of New House I.

choke

 v. To snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, usually on an exam or presentation

CivE

 [pronounced siv-ee] Civil Engineering (Course I).

clue

 n. The technical knowledge needed to carry out a task, or useful knowledge in general. A prerequisite for pants (q.v.).

cluster

 A room of public access Athena terminals.

clusterbate

 Access privates in a room of Athena terminals.

clusterfuck

 1) v. Like clusterbate only with more people. 2) n. See Tangerine Tours.

CMS

 Comparative Media Studies.

COC

 Committee on Curricula.

COD

 Committee on Discipline. You got caught hacking….

Compton Lecture Hall

 Room 26-100

Concourse

 An experimental freshman program to enrich the humanities experience at MIT

Coop

 Co-operative store. Located in Kendall Square, Harvard Square, and other locations. The main source of MIT-logo merchandise.

Counseling Deans

 See CSS

Course

 n. (1) Department major. (2) Subject (e.g., 5.11). Note: the Registrar’s Office has declared (2) an invalid definition.

CP

 Campus Police. NO NOT WHAT YOURE THINKING

CPW

 (1) Campus Preview Weekend, when many prefrosh (q.v.) skip school in order to go to school. (2) The only sunny weekend in spring.

crash

 v. (1) To sleep in a place where one does not pay rent, such as a friend’s apartment. (2) To join a party without being invited. (3) To cease functioning, as in a computer system.

crock

 n. (1) Something that has been botched, e.g., “What a crock.” (2) Bucket, e.g., “This is a crock of shit.” (3) The comic rock opera performed at TEP during Rush.

crunch

 (1) n. What happens at the end of the term. (2) v. To process mindlessly, as in “number crunch”.

cruft

 Old equipment; junk. Being able to take cruft and make it work again, or do something new and useful, is a badge of honor. (2) An old person, particularly an alum; often stated explicitly, as in “crufty alum”.

crust

 What some call crufty (q.v.) alums.

CSAIL

 (1) Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory. Formerly two separate labs, the MIT AI Laboratory and the Laboratory for Computer Science (LCS) were combined in July 2003. (2) Transaction of C shells by the cshore.

CS

Computer Science (Course VI-3).

DAPER

 Department of Athletics, Physical Education and Recreation.

Dean

 Occupier of administrative supervisory position. See Admin.

defrosh

 v. the process of temperance in one’s expectation of College , education, and “high-school” mentality (q.v.). Usually occurs some time during freshman year, but extreme cases may be delayed into graduate school and beyond.

Deke

 Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity.

dl

 See Dormline.

D-Lab

One of a series of laboratory classes that design products for developing countries.

D-Labs

 The Bad One. See Draper.

dope

 n. (1) Marijuana, rarely other drugs. (2) Trace impurity added to pure substance to alter properties. (3) adj. Outdated popular parlance equivalent to “cool” or “rad”. (4) Moron (archaic).

DoomCom -

Half-floor in Senior Haus stereotypically associated with twinkies (q.v.).

DormCon

 Dormitory Council, the coordination and governing body of the MIT dormitories. Compare IFC, Panhel, LGC

Dorm Rush

 see REX

Dot

 The circle of grass between the Green Building and the Big Sail. A popular place to eat lunch, play frisbee or hold Oddball Olympics. Officially named McDermott Court.

Double-E

 See EE.

down

 adj. (1) Feeling depressed, said of a person. (2) Non-working, gronked (q.v.), said of a computer.

Draper

 Formerly Instrumentation Labs. Works on inertial guidance systems, radar, etc. Divested by MIT due to student protest two decades ago.

drop

 (1) v. To de-register for a subject during a term. (2) n. Network access point. (3) n. Type of sodium experiment performed by Third East.

Drunkle

 Runkle, Senior Haus (back in the day).

DSL

 (1) Dean for Student Life (4-110, x3-4052). (2) Digital Subscriber Line; alums often use this to get Internet when they can’t suck the Institute’s digital teat anymore.

DUE

 Dean for Undergraduate Education (4-110, 3-6056).

DUSP

 [pronounced dusp] Department of Urban Studies and Planning (Course XI).

dweeb

 n. Similar to nerd (q.v.), but more disparaging.

EAsT CamPUS

 (1) n. Areas and structures of MIT east of building 10, often associated with the dorms and denizens of EC (2) adj. Sharing some aspect of the demeanor, persona, and/or ideals of the average East Campus resident. (3) See EC.

EAPS

 [pronounced eeps] Earth, Atmospheric and Planetary Sciences (Course XII).

EC

 East Campus, the dorm. Officially however it refers to Educational Counselors the alum that take your MIT Admissions Interview

EE

 Electrical Engineering (Course VI-1).

EECS

 [pronounced eeks or the individual letters] Electrical Engineering and Computer Science (Course VI).

EIT

 [rhymes with fight] (1) The Engineer in Training exam, given each year to students en route to becoming professional engineers. (2) An exclamation which originated at TEP, used when someone is unfairly destroyed. Can be used as virtually any part of speech, e.g., “I got eited on my 18.03 test.” (3) European Institute of Technology” and (4) “Evil Institute of Technology”

emeritus

 Retired from regular service with honor. See professor.

Engineer(s)

Any athlete from MIT’s 41 varsity sports teams

-Er Joke

 A set of jokes common on campus, e.g., “Fiddler on the Roof? But I just met her!”

Entropically favorable

(adj.): When the disheveledness of  our dorm room/ personal appearance/ mental state attains mythic proportions, e. g “Why are you using toothpaste squeezed from a ziplock bag?” “It was entropically favorable, Mom”

ESG

 Experimental Study Group. An alternative freshman program for cooler GIRs

ESP

 Educational Studies Program. Runs HSSP (q.v.) and Splash (q.v).

ET -

Epsilon Theta, a coed independent living group (q.v.).

Facilities -

Worker that graciously cleans up after you.

FAC

EC’s Friday Afternoon Club, a de-hosing service..

FADC

 Friday Afternoon Drinking Club. Back in the day (when things were more hardcore ofc) the end of the week was met with drinking in Talbot. The ‘tute removed the drinking and started funding food Synonymous with FAC.

feed the tree

Shed blood on the Senior Haus tire swing. The tree (a.k.a. The Angry God) is not pleased until it has drunk from you.

Fenway House

a coed independent living group (q.v.).

Fifth East Friday Nights

 Where the party is at.

Fiji

 Phi Gamma Delta. Dissolved at MIT after the death of Scott Krueger.

FinBoard

 Finance Board. The undergraduate body charged with proposing and administering the Undergraduate Association budget and funding student activities.

Fishbowl

 A former Project Athena workstation cluster located off the Infinite Corridor in building 11, where the Student Services Center now resides. Some claim that the building 12 cluster is a recreation.

5 O’Clock Club

Daily event at which the commuter students used to hang out in the basement of Walker after classes, way back in the day.

flushed

 (1) pp. Turned down or out. Disappointed in some endeavor, usually involved with selling oneself. Examples: “I got flushed at the mixer,” “I just got flushed by [fill in fraternity name here]”. (2) adj. Having a reddish hue on one’s face from heat, exertion, or embarrassment. Example: “I got flushed at the mixer.” (3) pp. Disposed of. When said of a person, this connotes dismissal or expulsion. Example: “I got flushed at the mixer.”

flame

 (1) n. A savage castigation of someone in a public forum, usually e-mail/dormspam. Usually written with the intention of amusing or outraging uninvolved readers. (2) v. To write the aforementioned devastating attack. Certain mailing lists exist specifically for this purpose.

FPC

 Faculty Policy Committee.

Fred

 East Campus. Ask a resident for the story.

frob

 v.t. Abbreviated form of frobnicate, meaning to manipulate, adjust, or tweak.

frosh

 A freshman/first-year

FSILG

 Fraternity, Sorority or Independent Living Group.

funnelator

 Home-made catapult device for launching water balloons, eggs, rotting turkey carcasses etc. So named because the simplest example consists of two lengths of surgical tubing connected to a funnel which holds the projectiles. See also mariah. See. Putz

furry fish

 Cat; references the general rule that fish were the only pets officially permitted in dorms, except for the ones that require them for rodent control.

fuxxor

 (1) n. A meddling or incompetent fool. Frequently written in leetspeak for added effect. (2) v. To shaft something such that it becomes gronked. (3) int. Expression of frustration or disappointment, e.g. “My fuxxor of a 6.270 partner just fuxxored our robot! Fuxxor!”

G

 Graduate student.

geek

 A nerd in Course VI. (Q: What’s the difference between a geek and a nerd? A: A geek has double-E.)

ghost

 (1) n. A dorm resident who lives unseen by neighboring students, often deliberately. (2) v. To sublet a room from its official occupant.

GIR

 General Institute Requirement. A class that all undergraduates must pass in order to get their degree.

glitch

 A bug; cause of sporadic gronkedness (q.v.).

GPA

 Grade Point Average. MIT’s is out of 5.0, as opposed to most places which grade on the 4.0 scale. Harvard’s answer to this is grade inflation.

Great Dome

 The dome on top of building 10. Bigger (and harder to get to) than the Little Dome.

Great Sail

 See Big Sail.

Grogo

 Former Mascot of Technique, the MIT yearbook. A big gorilla.

gronked

 Kaput, non-functioning.

GRT

 Graduate Resident Tutor.

grunge

 To throw away, especially an item in a public space. “The Grunge Crew grunged my shopping cart!”

Grunge Crew

 People hired to clear hallways and clean empty rooms in dorms, especially prevalent just after Spring term.

grungy

 adj. (1) Grubby and dingy. What you feel like after studying for 20 hours straight in 85 degree heat. (2) The opposite of elegant; long, boring, complicated, painful, but often necessary. “This 18.03 problem set is disgustingly grungy.” Grungy work is often called “grungework”.

GSC

 Graduate Student Council. The governing body for graduate students as a group (50-110, x3-2195).

hack

 (1) n. A trick or prank. For example, having a balloon pop up out of the field in the middle of the Hahvahd-Yale football game or getting elected UAP are fine hacks. (2) n. An inelegant shortcut to get something done quickly, for example in a computer program. (3) v. To use or operate something in a manner outside its design or published documentation; see kludge. (4) v. To explore ordinarily inaccessible or unknown places; equivalent to “go hacking”. (5) v. To apply oneself with utmost dedication in order to understand or become proficient in something. Example: a computer hacker. Also connotes fanaticism.

hacker

 n. (1) One who hacks. (2) One who pulls hacks. (3) One who goes hacking.

Hahvahd

 The big red-brick school, both Up The Street and Up Chuck River;

Harvard Bridge

 The Mass. Ave. bridge from MIT to Boston, which measures 364.4 Smoots + 1 ear in length.

hand-wave

 v. To attempt to explain something one doesn’t actually understand or that doesn’t make any actual sense, or to gloss over a question for which one wasn’t prepared. Sometimes performed by professors and physics majors when taken by surprise.

hardcore

 adj. (1) gilded age of MIT, often reminisced as a state of extreme desirability; and superiority. (2) An extreme dedication to a cause, often characterized by the willful disregard of personal hardship or risk. (3) Generally extreme or excessive

HASS

 Humanities, Arts and Social Sciences. Undergraduates need some of these classes in order to graduate.

haxxor

 (1) n. Derogatory term for self-conscious hackers who go to great lengths to ensure that you notice that they carry a multitool and wear all black. (2) v. To hack something in a trivial or inept fashion.

Hell

 n. (1) MIT. (2) The underground steam tunnel from Vassar Street towards building 13.

hosed

 adj. (1) Bogged down with work, when referring to a person. (2) Bogged down with packets, when referring to the network.

HowToGAMIT

 The abbreviated, contentious name for this book. Not to be confused with GAMIT (q.v.).

HSSP

 High School Studies Program, in which MIT students design and teach their own courses to high school students. Run by ESP (q.v.).

Hub

 (1) Boston.

Huntington Hall

 Room 10-250.

IAP

 Independent Activities Period. The month of January at MIT, and the most liminal time to be on campus.

IFC

 Interfraternity Council. The central coordinating and governing body of the FSILGs (q.v.). Counterpart to DormCon (q.v.).

IHTFP

 (1) I Hate This Fucking Place. (2) I Have Truly Found Paradise. (3) It’s Hard To Fondle Penguins. (4) I Help Tutor Freshman Physics. (5) I Have To Forever Pay. (See TDM.)

Infinite Corridor

 A quarter-mile hallway through the heart of the Institute. At one time the longest continuous straight corridor in the world.

The Institute

 Affectionate name for MIT. See Hell.

Institute Professor

 A prestigious honor conferred on particularly outstanding professors (q.v.).

instructor

 n. (1) Person who stands in front of students and lets fall pearls of wisdom. (2) Academic rank in the lower echelons of the junior faculty.

Interphase

 An intensive summer academic program for minorities, designed to ease the transition from high school to MIT.

intuitively obvious

 adj. (1) Too simpleminded to deserve explanation. (2) More often, too abstruse to explain, if the speaker even understands it at all.

I/S

 Dated term to refer to MIT Information Systems, Athena. Now officially known as IS&T.

IS&T

 Information Services & Technology. The newer, more corporate sounding and less efficient way to refer to I/S. See PhysPlant.

“Is this the way to Baker House?”

 Classic line said by a freshman to a Campus Police officer when caught during Orange Tours.

Jack Florey

 n. (1) Mythical resident of Fifth East, East Campus. (2) A hacking group associated with Fifth East.

James E Tetazoo

 n. (1) Mythical resident of Third East, East Campus. (2) A hacking group associated with Third East.

J Arthur Random

 Mythical resident of Random Hall.

k

 One thousand (of anything).

Killian Court

 The large courtyard in the middle of main campus, surrounded by buildings 1-4, building 10, and Memorial Drive. Called the Great Court until it was named for former MIT President Killian after his retirement.

Kiss of Death Award

 The Baker Award, given to professors who teach well. A surprisingly high percentage of Baker Award recipients are subsequently denied tenure. Damned shame, too.

kludge

 [rhymes with stooge] n. (1) A Rube Goldberg-style device which appears unlikely to work but does anyhow. (2) A method by which something is effectively but inelegantly made to perform a function for which it was not designed. (3) Something complex that doesn’t work, e.g., this definition.

Kresge

The hump between the Oval and the athletic field. Used for lectures, theatre, movies, concerts, conferences, and events

Krotus

 Malevolent deity of Fifth East, East Campus.

Lambchops

 Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity.

LCS

 (1) Laboratory for Computer Science. Now part of CSAIL (q.v.). (2) A student group for the study and appreceation of chocolate.

lecturer

 n. (1) One who lectures. (2) Low, low academic rank (shame)

Little Dome

 The dome on top of building 7. Smaller than the Great Dome, but easier to see from Mass. Ave.

Little Sail

 See Big Sail, Working Model.

living group

 n. (1) The place where you live. (2) The group of people with whom you live. (definitions may not apply for some people found in the Student Center. See Stratton House).

L-Lab

 Lincoln Laboratory, a special MIT-affiliated laboratory located in Lexington. Its specialties include optics, radio physics, data systems, radar, and re-entry systems.

LSC

 Lecture Series Committee. A student organization that puts on movies, lectures, and other entertainment for the MIT community.

MBA

 Master of Business Administration. A degree pursued by many Sloanies (q.v.).

MBTA

 Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority. Operates the Boston area mass transit during the day, well, not too horribly. Known as the “T”.

MechE

 [pronounced mek-ee] Mechanical Engineering (Course II).

MEng

 [pronounced emm-enj] Masters in Engineering. Usually referring to Course 6, but available to Course 2, and Course 11 students as well

MGH

 Massachusetts General Hospital.

MIT Community

 n. (1) Nearly 20,000 students, faculty, researchers, staff, and employees at MIT. Sometimes used more expansively to include their families and also alumni. (2) An indefinable, probably mythical item invented by Admins (q.v.) to justify the implementation of various private projects .

MITERS

 MIT Electronic Research Society.

MITFCU

 MIT Federal Credit Union. Not pronounced “MIT-fuck-you” despite possible temptation, as the Credit Union is actually very cool.

MITOC

 MIT Outing Club.

MITSFS

 MIT Science Fiction Society. Pronounced “mittsfiss” or “mitt-siffs,” but never “misfits.”

MITSO -

MIT Symphony Orchestra.

moat

 The wet thing wrapped around the Chapel. A good place to throw obnoxious people.

MOF

 Most Obnoxious Freshman. Awarded at Senior Haus during Steer Roast (q.v.).

MSE

 Materials Science and Engineering (Course III).

MTG

 Musical Theatre Guild.

munge

 v. To mangle, mutilate, or mess up badly.

Mystery Hunt

 The famous annual weekend-long puzzle competition held during IAP (q.v.).

n

 An indeterminable number, originating in most intro to CS courses (6.100A) with various connotations, as in “There are n ways to beat (or get screwed by) the system.”

nerd

 [pronounced gnurd] n. (1) Someone with a high level of expertise in an esoteric, usually technical field. A badge of honor at the Institute, e.g., “Nerd pride”. (2) Someone who studies too much. See tool.

nonoptimal

 adj. (1) In need of improvement. (2) Horribly bad.

nontrivial

 adj. (1) difficult. (2) Impossible. (See trivial.)

November Rule

 n. A rule that forbids relationships for all relationship until November (1^st or 30^th  is fungible apparently)

nuke

 (1) n. Nuclear power plant. (2) n. Nuclear weapon. (3) v. To attack with a nuclear weapon, e.g., “Nuke ‘em ‘til they glow.” (4) adj. Damage caused by a microwave oven, e.g., “Nuke alert!”, or by a jock (q.v.), e.g., “My knee’s nuked thanks to him.” (4) v. To cook in a microwave oven, e.g., “I’ll just nuke some dinner.”

NukeE

 [pronounced nuke-ee] Nuclear Engineering (Course XXII).

Orange Tour

 A guided excursion to some of the Institute’s less-publicized architectural sights. To get on one, ask a hacker.

ORK

 Order of Random Knights, a hacking group based in Random Hall.

OSMCS

 Office of Student Mediation and Community Standards

OSP

 Office of Sponsored Programs. An administrative apparatus overseeing outside research grants and works at MIT.

Ozok the Destroyer

 Mascot of Random Hall

pants

 n. (1) A condition or thing that is notable in the event of its absence. Often refers to the ability to get things done effectively and competently, e.g., “My TA helped me find my pants after office hours.” (2) What people are ultimately trying to get into when they hit on someone, e.g., “My TA helped me find my pants after office hours.”

petition

 (1) n. A form used to request something unusual with regard to academics, (2) v. To fill out a petition form, submit it to the proper authorities, and satisfy other protocols associated with that kind of activity. (3) v. To request a delay on an Incomplete, an administrative means of procrastination.

placement

 The process of career counseling, graduate school counseling, and finding a job (summer, temporary, or permanent).

pika

A coed independent living group (q.v.), formerly Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity.

policy

 n. (1) A predefined set of procedures for handling certain situations or processes. (2) What Admins use as an excuse after a failed attempt to hand-wave.

postdoc

 Someone who already has a Ph.D but is still pursuing Academia

powertool

 (1) n. An electrically operated tool. (2) v. What one has to do to catch up on the entire term in any given course the night before the final exam in that course.

pox card

 Derisive nickname for RFID proximity access cards. Refers to the inherent security flaw associated with such devices, namely that the transmission of identifying data can be both triggered and collected without the knowledge or consent of the holder.

prefrosh

 Designation before First-Year “Those happy few who can still decide whether or not to come to MIT”

President’s Courtyard

 See Alumni Association President’s Court

professor

 n. (1) Person teaching a course. (2) Academic rank with three levels (assistant, associate, full) comprising the main body of the faculty. (3) Institute Professor: Academic post recognizing exceptional distinction. Institute Professors can work as they wish on research and teaching, without regard for formal boundaries and duties. (4) Professor Emeritus: Faculty member who has reached 70 (mandatory retirement age) but who is working (legally) at up to 50% of his or her former load. (5) Tenured professor: A professor who never has to say “I’m sorry.”

Project Athena

 A project to integrate computers into MIT academics; the origin of the current Athena system.

Provost

 Currently L. Rafael Reif. The senior academic officer, who assists the President of the Institute in addition to carrying on projects of his own.

prox card

 Contraction of Proximity Card. See pox card.

punt

 (1) v.t. To determine after analytical deliberation not to do something, said something often academic in nature. (2) v.i. To be in the process of not doing something. (3) For those on CME (q.v.), to use a long pole to propel a long, narrow, flat-bottomed boat along a shallow river.

putz

 (1) v. To do something in a ridiculous manner or for no justifiable reason. (2) n. One who putzes. (3) n. Second West, East Campus; also known as Pi Tau Zeta. (4) n. A resident of Putz.

Quantum _______

Phrase used investors, your cue to tune out

quantum mechanics

 People who repair quanta. (what a terrible joke

RA

 (1) Research Assistant. Usually a graduate student employed by a department, receiving pay plus a tuition allowance for research. Often funded by outside grants. (2) Resident Advisor. FSILG equivalent of a GRT (q.v.).

RAC

 Room Assignment Chair. Student representative, usually elected, that determines who lives where in a dorm, floor or entry.

random

 (1) adj. short for Random Hall (2) adj. Indeterminate, sometimes connoting number. (3) adj. Without order, garbled. (4) n. Average person.

Randomite

 Resident of Random Hall.

RBA

 Residence-Based Advising. A program to prevent freshmen in McCormick and Next from transferring dorms or participating in REX.

Red Staple

 Sculpture by Tang Hall. Officially named “For Marjorie.”

REX

 Residence EXploration. Politically correct new term for Dorm Rush, a phrase which apparently terrorized parents with its connotations of potentially dangerous haste. The revamped acronym instead conjures family-friendly images of Greeks named Oedipus.

RFID

 Radio Frequency Identification (q.v.). Used in your ID Cards

Rho-17

 Symbol of Random Hall

RLE

 Research Laboratory of Electronics, an interdisciplinary lab in building 36.

RMS

 n. (1) Root Mean Square, the square root of the mean squared deviation of a signal from a given baseline or fit. (2) Richard M. Stallman, AI Lab denizen and founder of the GNU free software project.

ROTC

 [pronounced rot-see] Reserve Officer Training Corps. Military officer training program operating within MIT and some other colleges.

Rush

 (1) Any allotted period of time where members of several groups (usually dorms or FSILGS (q.v.)) attempt to recruit new members (residents or pledges) via competing events or series of events. Also see REX. (2) Officially, the period of time after REX in which FSILGS hold their Rush.

SAA

 Student Art Association.

SAO

 Student Activities Office. Group in charge of student activities and associated social function prevention and other meddling. The people you have to see to fill out pages of forms if you want to throw a party.

Sala

 La Sala de Puerto Rico. Large all-purpose room in the Student Center donated by Puerto Rico.

screw

 (1) n, v. Bad thing, such as the Institute Screw or “screwed to the wall.”

scrod

 (1) n. A baby codfish popular to eat in Massachusetts. Example: “I got scrod at the Dining Hall.” (2) v. Past tense of screw. Example: “I got scrod at the Dining Hall.”

secretary

 One who is paid starvation wages to run everything.

Secret Ninja Courtyard

 The courtyard bounded by buildings 8, 6, 2 and 4. Also known as the Atomic Courtyard.

SGS

 Strategic Games Society.

Senior Haus

 (1). Affectionate phrase to refer to the late Senior House, not to be confused with “Senior House.”

shaft

 (1) v. To damage or otherwise screw something up. (2) v. To drop something from a great height, in particular the roof of Random Hall. (3) n. An enclosed vertical tunnel, such as where elevators or pipes run. (4) v. To climb a vertical tunnel, for example while hacking.

SIPB

 [pronounced sip-bee] Student Information Processing Board.

sketchy

 Insalubrious.

Sleep

 A rare physiological condition that many weaker students periodically experience whose symptoms include falling into a temporary coma-like state and, sometimes, extended hallucinations. Claimed side effects include physical and mental respite, though these claims have not yet been verified.

slime

 (1) n. Term applied to the guest each LSC member gets to admit to the movies for free. (2) v. Particularly egregious attempt by upperclassmen or crust to hit on a frosh, especially before November.

Sloanie

 n. (1) Member of the Sloan School of Management (Course XV). (2) Someone who can’t do math.

SLP

 Student Life Programs(Antiquated) See SAO

slug

 Resident of Fourth East, East Campus.

Smoot

 A unit of length equal to the height of Oliver Smoot ’62, most commonly used for the Harvard Bridge (364.4 Smoots plus 1 ear).

snow

 (1) n. Brown, cold particles that cover sidewalks and gutters through Boston winters. Rumored to contain water. Now also available in blue and pink variations.

Splash

 Event run by ESP (q.v.) the weekend before Thanksgiving. Members of the MIT community teach whatever they want to high school students.

Sponge

 Nickname for Simmons Hall dormitory, based on its reputed ability to soak up beer.

Sport Death

 Philosophy at Senior Haus. Ask a resident for an introduction.

Squanch

 n. A short fellow with a picket sign and a wilted flower.

squat

 v. To circumvent a housing lottery by opting to stay in the same place. Depending on a dorm’s RAC (q.v.) policy (q.v.), possession may be ten-tenths of the law.

Squinto

 Nichols 2, 3 and 4 of Senior Haus (back in the day).

Stab Cab

 n. see Fuck Truck

Stratton House

 n. (1) Student Center (3rd, 4th, and 5th floors). (2) Not just a living group, a way of life.

Steer Roast

 annual Senior Haus party at which said animal is actually roasted, amid various other activities. Tradition dates back to the mid-sixties.

structural

 (1) Presently holding something else up, such as a ceiling. Example: “Don’t lean on that, it’s structural.” (2) Able to hold something else up, such as a person. Example: “Don’t lean on that, it’s not structural.”

subject

 One or two professors, n students, a room, a formal curriculum, a formal subject number, and a formal grade, except when it isn’t.

suboptimal

 See nonoptimal.

SWE

 Society of Women Engineers.

TA

 Teaching Assistant. Usually a grad student employed by a department, receiving pay plus a tuition allowance for teaching duties. Funded by the Institute.

Tangerine Tour

 an Orange Tour, for prefrosh.

TDM

 Too Damned Much. Refers to tuition or information.

TEAL

 Technology Enabled Active Learning. A new, futuristic method of teaching freshman physics that attempts to use technology to replace learning.

The ‘Institvte

Refers to the Engravings within MIT’s Dome Engraving that stylizes all the “U” as “V”s[MM1] 

The Tech

 A student-written and published newspaper that appears in Lobby 7 and other random places on Tuesdays and Fridays (except summers and Institute holidays).

TechCASH

 Official name of the declining-balance retail payment system attached to the MIT card. Preferred by the Institute to the more accurate but less diplomatic term “parents’ cash”.

Tech Square

 n. (1) Member of the MIT Square Dancing Club. (2) Group of buildings located northeast of MIT, location of the offices of the MITFCU and numerous tech companies.

Tech Talk

 The official MIT newspaper published every Wednesday (except summers and Institute holidays).

Terrascope

 An alternative freshman program involving earth studies.

Tetazoo

 Third floor of EAsT CamPUS.

Tetazoot Suit

 What people who live on Tetazoo wear.

TFM

 See TDM.

THA

 [redacted]

Tin Rat

 (1) Hunk of steel that is a modern alternative to the Brass Rat (q.v.). Slightly less ugly

TMRC

 [pronounced tumurk] Tech Model Railroad Club.

tomb

 An enclosed space, often created when a new building is put next to an old one without fully coordinating the floorplans. They tend to be named by the first hackers to find them.

tonic

 Soda, New England style.

tool

 (1) v. To study. (See powertool.) (2) n. One who studies to an extreme. Connotes over-concentration on problem sets. Supertool: an extreme extreme. (3) n. MIT student. Slightly derogatory. See nerd.

Towers

 5th and 6th floor “penthouse” suite area of Senior Haus.

Towers Bug

 Particular variety of house centipede often encountered in Towers (q.v.).

Transparent Horizons

Artwork left by Louise Nevelson in the East Campus courtyard, “best appreciated by facing away from it.”

trash

 To destroy or vandalize, especially during a riot.

trivial

 adj. (1) Obvious. Often said sarcastically. (2) Easy to do.

Tuition Riot

 Traditional “spontaneous” demonstration held to celebrate a tuition increase. See TDM.

‘Tute

 MIT. See Institute.

twinkie

 A person belonging to the loose social group surrounding the Assassins’ Guild, SIPB, MITSFS, SGS, also APO and LSC to a lesser extent. Often characterized by punting a lot in myriad ways, usually involving games of some sort, usually as nerdy as possible.

UA

 Undergraduate Association.

Unstructural

To rubes “potentially unsafe, likely to suffer mechanical failure.”
At MIT, “unstructural” means “run away from this as fast as you can.” e. g “I hear that East Campus’ homemade roller coaster is especially unstructural this year.”

UROP

 Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program. A source of credit and dollars for many undergrads. V. to simply work in a research project

voodoo

 Shamanistic religion originating in Haiti; notorious for cult-like behaviour and turning some of its members into zombies.

Voo Doo

 MIT’s humor magazine; notorious for cult-like behaviour and turning some of its members into zombies.

W1MX

 MIT amateur (“ham”) radio society.

W1XM

 MIT amateur (“ham”) radio repeater.

Waffle Haus

 Nickname for Simmons Hall dormitory, based on its reputed ability to soak up whipped cream.

wanking

 (1) n, v. Self-indulgent pontification. (2) v. What nuns probably don’t do.

Weather Machine

 Top-secret device owned by MIT to ensure nice weather for short, strategic periods of time (usually during CPW (q.v.) and commencement) in order to convince prefrosh (q.v.) and parents that New England weather isn’t so bad.

Wellesley

 Just make sure she doesn’t know where you live.

West Campus

 (1) n. Areas and structures of MIT west of building 10, often associated with the dorms, FSILGs (q.v.) and denizens west of Bexley. (2) adj. Sharing some aspect of the demeanor, persona, and/or ideals of the average resident in one of the West Campus dorms.

WHOI

 Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute.

WMBR

 Walker Memorial Basement Radio, MIT’s radio station at 88.1 FM.

Women’s League

 Service and social organization for all MIT women. Once upon a time named Tech Matrons.

wonky

 Askew.

WYSIWYG

 What You See Is What You Get. Generally refers to publishing software that attempts to provide an accurate screen preview of the printed output. Mockingly renamed WYSIAYG (“What You See Is All You Get”) by typesetting language aficionado Leslie Lamport, for the lack of control of detail below the resolution of the screen. Other derivatives include WYSIWYP, such as Mountain Dew or $6 pitchers of Budweiser at the Muddy.

Z-Center

 Zesiger Center, the athletics complex.

Zebe

 Zeta Beta Tau fraternity brother.