Unknown to most, the octopodes of the world have long hidden a rich and prosperous culture from the prying eyes of man. Far more intelligent than any have guessed, they have subtly influenced the overdwellers through thousands of years to do their bidding and generally make their lives more comfortable, without ever revealing that it is they who are secretly in charge of the world.
Thus far, their yoke has been light, and both the octopodes and the overdwellers have prospered. But this is not necessarily a permanent condition, and the jeweled thrones of the Earth should shudder in fear of the day when this policy changes...
All octopodes currently owe their allegiance to their sovereign lord, King Inky VIII. Recently, though, those close to his undersea throne have noticed that His Majesty seems to be slowing a bit. This trend has been especially noticed by his closest advisor, the Royal Vizier, Tentaculus.
King: "Tenty old boy, I think it might be time for me to step down. It takes almost half an hour to get all eight legs out of the clam these days, if you know what I mean."
Vizier: "I understand, sire. It's a sad day for all, but you do need your rest. I shall announce my succession to the throne as soon as..."
King: "Announce? Announce to whom?"
Vizier: "Why, all of the other octopodes, of course."
King: "Oh, good idea! Do you think one of them wants to be king?"
Vizier: "Um... I expect they are all too far away to be interested."
King: "Really? Where are they?"
Vizier: "Scattered all over the world. We could check the registry if you are interested. But in any case, they're not here."
King: "Well, I suppose we'll just have to inform everyone that the job is up for grabs..."
Vizier: "But sire, you can't give the throne to just anyone. Surely none of the other octopodes have the... er.. needed skills and experience to do the job properly."
King: "Nonsense! Octopodes are pretty smart. Let's just pick one at random."
Vizier: "Very well, sire. I'll go put all of the names in a hat and choose one to be the new king. I'll be right back."
King: "Back? Where are you going?"
Vizier: "To choose a new king, sire."
King: "By golly, I think you're right! We DO need a new king! Who do you think it should be?"
Days later:
Vizier: "Sire, that's what I've been saying for the last eight days."
King: "Eight days? My, you're long-winded! Will you please come to the point?"
Vizier: "Sire, you're testing my patience..."
King: "That's a great idea!"
Vizier: "What?"
King: "We should test everyone's patience! Well, maybe not their patience, but other things. What do you need to be king?"
Vizier: "Power."
King: "Er... OK. write that down, I guess. We'll test their power. But couldn't we also test more friendly things?"
Vizier: "Like what?"
King: "Like their friendliness?"
Vizier: "If you say so. You're the king."
King: "Great idea! We should test their royalty!"
Vizier: "They don't have any, they're not king yet."
King: "Oh, then some other octopus-like qualities too."
Vizier: "We can't test everything!"
King: "Really? We could try. Or how about just everything else..."
Vizier: "Very well, I'll go run all of the tests, and let you know who won."
King: "Oh, I couldn't do that to you. You're too busy! Let's get some professional judges."
Vizier: "As you say, my liege. How about I just take care of the royal artifacts until we hear back from the judges."
King: "Are you sure you can carry everything? There sure are a lot of them. I know! Let's send them to the other octopodes for safe keeping."
Vizier: (...sigh...) "Very well. All of this mailing back and forth could take forever. I guess I'll prepare for a long regency."
King: "Do you think it will take that long? Maybe we need a time limit..."
Vizier: "I think I'll just be quiet now."
King: "Good idea. You ask too many questions. It's nap time anyways."